UPJOKE
imbibedrinkquaffslurpcarousesipoverdrinkconsumeuncorkgobblespewurinatehot toddyultra magnustransformers

Guzzle Jokes

Do you know who can guzzle 5 gallons of gas?

Gerry can

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth...

The doctor comes in and informs him that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. Your son is just a head!

But the father loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and
compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad
takes him to the bar an...

A State Government Employee sits in his office, and out of boredom decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet

He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This would look nice on my mantelpiece," he thinks, so he takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice-cold diet Pepsi right now!" ! A Pepsi appears before him ...

A guy goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me a drink, quick!"

The bartender gives him his drink, and says "What's the hurry, buddy?"
The guy downs the drink and says "Just went to the doctor. Get me another drink, quick!"
The bartender gives him another drink, which he promptly guzzles.
The guy downs the next drink, and the bartender says "Really, ...

So a woman goes to the doctor with a busted lip and a black eye...

...and the doctor says, "Oh my, what happened?"
To which the woman replies, "Well my husband always goes to the bar after work, he then proceeds to come home and beat me. I've tried everything to get him to stop but nothing works." The doc listens to her story and after a few minutes, he respond...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Traditional Herbal Medicine

A guy, having been with a lot of questionable women, starts developing a bad rash and severe groin pain. After several weeks, he finally goes to see his doctor.

The doctor says, "I'm real sorry, but the infection has gone way too far, we're going to have to amputate your ." The guy doe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Golf joke

A man was stranded on a desert island for many years. One day a woman swims up in a wetsuit.





She says to the man, "I'll bet it's been a long time since you had a cigarette."



He says, "OMG I've wanted one for years." She reaches inside her wetsuit and pulls out a...

Back in the days... (long)

Back in the days, on a beautiful spring day, a farmer had led his cow to a small stream next to a green, lush meadow. The animal happily guzzles some water, while the farmer milks her. Two engineers come hiking down the path that follows the stream.

"Excuse me, sir", says one, "what are you d...

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?'

The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie.

The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.

The barman, now intrig...
2 jokes are hidden here because they may not be suitable for all ages.
show them anyway

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.