UPJOKE
firebonfirecampingwildfirecampsitefireplacecampgroundfiresidehearthpicniccandlelightembersmoonlittentstargazing

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So a Army Ranger, Recon Marine, Seal, and a Delta Operator are sitting around a campfire.

So the Ranger being a Ranger starts bragging about how tough he is... “you think you guys are tough?” he says

“I’ve parachuted behind enemy lines, did a 50 mile night march and killed a dozen terrorist with my bare hands.”

The Recon Marine is like “man that ain’t shit”

“I’ve lan...

I love campfire smoke so much ...

it brings tears to my eyes.

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3 guys are sitting around a campfire

One guy says to the other 2, “I’m the toughest guy here. One time I was out in the woods and I got attacked by a mountain lion! I wrestled with it and was able to stab it to death.”
One of the other guys says, “You think that’s tough? I was out in the woods and got attacked by a full size grizzly...

Two cannibals sat around a campfire

One turned to the other and said, "God, I hate my mother-in-law."

His friend said, "Well then try the potatoes."

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Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, each telling tall tales.

The first one says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. The other day a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands."

The second cowboy says. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a f...

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A group of Native Americans are sitting around a campfire

A young brave asks the others, "When will I be given a name?"

"When you distinguish yourself in the tribe," answers Thundering Buffalo.

"Then the elders will recognize you with a name," says Rides By Moonlight.

"It is the proudest moment of a young brave's life," says Silent Wol...

Sitting around the outdoor campfire I chuckle to myself

My friend asks, what's so funny?

I reply, "I can't tell you out here, it's an inside joke."

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A park ranger catches a hunter in the act of eating a spotted owl. Feathers and bones surround his campfire.

The ranger says, "The spotted owl is a highly endangered species. Killing one is a federal crime."

The man says, "Yes, I admit that I killed and ate that owl. However, in my defense, I was lost in the wilderness for three days and frankly I was starving. The bird flew directly at me; I raised...

What did the millennial say after they successfully started the campfire?

That's lit

A Catholic priest, a Baptist minister and a rabbi are camping together

Around the campfire they each claim to be the best at winning converts to their respective faiths. To settle the friendly dispute they decide to seek out a bear and try to convert it. The next day they fan out in different directions into the woods, planning to meet back at the campsite in twelve ho...

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Three cowboys sitting around a campfire

Two are arguing who is tougher.

"Last week I rode a 2000lb bull it bucked me off so I punched it one time and it turned into steaks" said the first.
"That's nothing, last time I had sex I used a live rattler for a condom" boasted the second.

The third said nothing, and continued qui...

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Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire.

The youngest cowboy says, “Last week, a mammoth bull gored 10 men on the range, but I stepped in and wrestled it to the ground with nothing but my bare hands.”

Not wanting to be outdone, the second cowboy says, “That’s nothing. Two days ago, I was attacked by a 10-foot rattler, but I caught i...

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A horny gorilla sees a lion bent over a small stream, taking a drink

The gorilla runs up behind the lion, grabs on, and has his way with him. The gorilla then takes off running, with the very angry lion on his heels. As they run through the jungle, the gorilla gets a bit of a lead, and sees a British safari camp ahead.

The gorilla enters the camp, grabs some k...

How rare is it for someone to die by falling into a campfire?

Probably about medium rare.

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A Texan, a Kentuckian, a Californian, and an Oregonian are all sitting around a campfire...

A Texan, a Kentuckian, a Californian, and an Oregonian are all sitting around a campfire, talking and BSing. Being a Texan, the first man decides to use a lull in the conversation to prove his manhood to the group. He pulls out a 6-pack of Lone Star beer and a revolver, slams down one of the beers i...

It was a dark and stormy night...

It was a dark and stormy night on buffalo hill... a group of bandits sat around a campfire... one of the bandits said to the captain, "tell us a story captain"... the captain said...
It was a dark and stormy night on buffalo hill... a group of bandits sat around a campfire... one of the bandits s...

Asked Google how to start a campfire without any tools

It gave me 20 million matches.

What do you call a campfire at a nudist camp?

A weenie roast.

Three large trolls were sitting around the campfire discussing their health.

"My doctor tolt me I need to get meself some exercise. Good fer me heart. So I tossed 'im up high in there air. Daggum good exercise."

The next troll laughed, "If ye gots any heart at all, its as hard and cold as granite. My doctor tolt me I was lack toes intolrant. Ain't sure what 'e meant s...

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Three cowboys were sitting around a campfire....

...when the first one decided to brag about how manly he was.

"You know, just last week, a few coyotes came into my ranch, and I had to beat them off with my bare hands."

Not wanting to be outdone in manliness, the second cowboy said "Yeah, I hate it when stuff like that happens. Just ...

I got arrested today for putting my arm in a campfire.

I got charged with “waving a fire arm”

What did the penny stockholder sing at the campfire?

12.8 billion shares on the wall 12.8 billion shares... you take 300 million down, you pass them around, 12.8 billion shares on the wall!


(Triple checked for typos, all good)

What's the difference between a campfire and a bedroom?

When things start heating up in the bedroom, the wood gets wetter.

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A detachment of US Marines are conducting jungle warfare training in the Congo, and one night around the campfire, the Congolese troops they're training with tell the Marines the tale of a cave in the middle of the jungle, filled with golden treasure but guarded by a fearsome monster.

According to the local soldiers, the cave is filled with the treasures of an ancient African king, but a sorcerer used his arcane powers to create an unholy creature to guard it. She was formed from a mix of human, gorilla, chimpanzee, and baboon, and stands seven feet tall, enormously strong. She h...

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A Maribe Raider, A navy SEAL, and a Delta Force operator are sitting around a campfire sharing war stories.

The marine says "I parachuted in from a helicopter at night with 50 pounds of gear on my back and killed 25 men with nothing but a knife." The SEAL says "That's nothing. I swam 6 miles up the coast, sprinted 3 more, and killed 60 people with my bare hands." He turns to the Delta Force guy. "What abo...

A chemist and a mathematician are going camping in the woods.

Night begins to fall and the sun starts to set. They begin to get cold and hungry. The mathematician gets the idea to start a campfire for warmth and cooking. The problem is that they do not have any wood. The chemist then suggests to go out and find some loose twigs and burn them.

As they ve...

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4 Soldiers around a Campfire.

(Not sure if this was done already but I heard this in boot camp. If I fucked it up I’m sorry.)

There are 4 soldiers sitting around a fire.

A Green Beret, A Navy Seal, a MARSOC Gunner, and a Delta Operator.

The MARSOC Gunner looks around for sec, then says “I once killed 20 men ...

Sitting with my shoes off next to a warm campfire eating corn chips.

Tostitos

Some boy scouts are sitting around a campfire...

Some boy scouts are sitting around a camp fire and begin to tell some jokes. The first one lets out a chuckle and says, "13". The rest of the scouts chuckle and another says, "Heh, 6". This gets a good laugh from most of them and a third replies with "8". At this point they are at the point of tears...

You can’t have run through a campfire

You would have ran past tense

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A couple of cowboys on a cattle drive were sitting by their fire in the middle of the night

... when a bearded stranger wearing bear-skins galloped up in a cloud of dust. He was riding a longhorn bull with a brass ring through his nose.

He jumped off , punched the bull in the head to knock it out, came to the campfire, and emptied a hot pan of beans straight into his mouth then wash...

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Three cowboys

There were these three cowboys sitting around a campfire, each bragging about who was the toughest.
The first said he had caught a rattlesnake by it's tail and tied it in a knot as fast as a blink.
The second said he snapped the horns off all his bulls by hand.
The third just sat quietly as...

On a tour of some really remote islands...

A cruise ship passed by an archipelago. A sharp-eyed passenger spotted a ragged figure by a campfire who jumped up and started waving his arms wildly.

"Captain!" said the passenger, "I see someone over there....who is that?"

"I'm not sure," replied the captain, "but he goes nuts every ...

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A Russian, a Mexican, an American and a lawyer are sitting around a campfire.

After a few hours of sitting around the fire, the Russian guy pulls out a bottle of Vodka and a gun. He takes a big pull then throws the bottle into the air and shoots it.

The American guy says, "What the hell did you do that for? That was damn good Russian Vodka."

The Russian man repl...

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Tough as an iron poker

Three cowboys are standing around a campfire. The first cowboy says, "I know I'm toughest cowboy there's ever been. I'll break any stallion in a day."

The second cowboy replies, "I'm tougher than that. I fought off a grizzly with my bare hands and got right back to work."

T...

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The New Cowboy

Young man is on his first cattle drive, new to being a cowboy. Chow time, all the men are sitting around the campfire, new cowboy asks, "So what do we do for fun?' One of the old hands tells him, "Well, it's dark and nobody around - just go find yourself a stump and fuck the hell out of it."
<...

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Why do you think we are here?

John, Paul, and Bill sit around a campfire.

John turns to Paul, and asks him "Why do you think we are here?"

Paul says "Man, I wonder that all the time. Some people think we exist on Earth in purgatory. We suffer here through the trials and tribulations of life in order to determine if...

Dad joke #1

**I used to be really scared of campfires when we went camping.**

**Dont worry, after a while, i warmed up to them.**

Lincoln, Do the Thing!!! (4th of July Joke)

So, it's the 4th of July night and all the dead presidents are gathered around a campfire having a party. They're drinking and eating and just generally having a grand ol' time when President Washington puts President Lincoln on the spot.

W: "Hey, heyyyy, Lincoln, do that thing you do!
...

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These guys are going hunting

They're sitting around a campfire drinking and drinking. They go out and kill a deer, they bring it back to clean and gut it. They drink some more. A little while later one of the guys stands up, and says, "I've got to take a shit." So he goes off into the woods but doesn't come back for a while. Hi...

Two soldiers sat around a campfire, in a heavily besieged city.

The younger soldier said to the older soldier: "I am too young to die, I don't even know what the taste of a woman is like. Can you share your wife with me?"

The older soldier kept stirring a large cooking pot and replied: "Hold your horses, she is not even fully cooked yet."

scarlet johansson

There’s an airline crash in the Pacific. The only two survivors are a young man, Steve, and an unconscious young woman.

Steve finds the young woman clinging to a piece of debris. He tows her to a small, deserted atoll.

The young woman does not regain consciousness for a week. In the me...

I was freezing out in the middle of the woods when I stumbled upon a mean-looking hunter sat by a campfire...

He was roasting his fresh kill feet first and the smell had me salivating for a bit of that tasty grub.

He gave me a dirty look and made it clear he didn't want to share any.

I begged him for a bite to help me warm up but he just gave me the cold shoulder.

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A Green Beret, a Navy SEAL, an Army Ranger and a Marine Recon Scout are sitting around a campfire...

...telling stories about their service.

The green beret said "I once sneaked into enemy territory under the cover of night, killed 10 men, and sneaked back out"

&nbsp;


"That's nothing!" the navy seal said. "I once swam 10 miles into enemy territory, killed 25 men, and sw...

The Hiker With the Exotic Appetite

A middle-aged man got lost while hiking in the Sierra Mountains. Rescue calls went out and three days later a National Park ranger located him.

As he approached the hiker, the ranger noticed a campfire pit and the charred remains of a large bird. “Is that a California Condor”, asked the...

My son and I went camping yesterday, when he asked me how to start a campfire. I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same."

"Then you’ll have a match."

Tinder is completely useless, and I don’t have a single match

If I don’t find another way to start a campfire tonight, I’ll freeze to death.

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tall tales and being a man

A few of us were sitting around a campfire. One of my buddies, he's a park ranger, was telling us about this huge bear that was going to attack a family and he had to wrestle it to the ground. Wound up killing it with his bare hands.

Well, after he was done talking we all took a few more sips...

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A small plane crashes on a tropical island. Only the two pilots and the flight assistant survive.

Soon they started to organize their lives, prepare a shelter, water etc.

Few days’ passes and then one night around the campfire they start chatting. Pilot1: let’s say it loud, we are two men and a woman on a desert island, we have our needs: let’s find an agreement about sex. The three star...

If you die in a dream

A scout master is wrapping up scary stories around the campfire.

One kid asks “Is it true if you die in a dream, you die in real life?”

“Oh no, not at all.” replies the scout master.

All the children sigh in relief.

“On the other hand, if you pee in a dream...”

I finally got Tinder ...

and after a few matches, I was able to start a campfire

Old Man on the Fast Moped

Just remembered this one today. It's a great joke for around a campfire.

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Guy's driving down the road in his new Lamborghini. Stops at a light next to an old man on a moped.

The old man looks over and says "Say, that's a pretty spiffy looking car there, son. It looks f...

A group of hunters gathered in the woods..

A group of hunters gathered around the campfire after a long, hard day in the woods. *"3"*, said one of the hunters, and the rest laughed.
*"8"*, another said, and they laughed even more.
Now, for one of the hunters, these numbers weren't very fun. He asks, *"Why is this fun?"*. The hunters lo...

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson were going camping.

They set up their tent, started a campfire, and laid down their sleeping bags inside of the tent. After a few hours of playing cards and joking by the fire, they extinguished the fire and went to sleep. Holmes awoke Watson in the middle of the night and they looked up at the starry night sky.
...

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A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a campfire

The dog suddenly says, “Ugh, I hate my master! He makes me do my business on a fire hydrant.” The cat chimes in with, “That’s nothing! I have to do all that in a tiny litter box!” The penis, outraged, shouts, “At least your master doesn’t put a bag over your head and make you do push-ups ‘till you t...

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NFSW A young man had made up his mind to become a lumberjack. So he takes all his tree falling equipment to a lumberjack camp in Quebec.

On his first day he does very well. Keeping up with the other lumberjacks all day.

When the evening meal came, he joined the circle sitting around the campfire, eating the standard
woodsmen's fare; beans & black coffee.

Around the middle of their meal one of the largest lumberj...

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The most ancient joke from the Stone Age (really)

I've read somewhere that this is considered the most ancient still surviving joke, already told by cavemen around the campfire, literally tens of thousands of years old. (So like the ultimate unoriginal one lol.) Figured maybe you haven't heard it, so here it goes (sorry if my delivery is bad).
...

The real Jesus Christ

Three drunks are sitting in a bar in Amsterdam and start bragging. The first drunk says:"I am Jesus Christ, and I will prove it to you by walking over water". They grab their beers and walk to the closest pond, and of course the drunk falls down in the water. Once back on the waterside the second dr...

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Two Squirrels GO Camping

They set up a tiny tent and make a tiny campfire. Then, one squirrel pulls out a frying pan and begins to pan fry some twigs. The other squirrel snatches it from his hand and says,

"Are you NUTS?!? This is a non-stick pan!"

Dad joke... Indian drummer

Cowboys are sitting around a campfire when they hear dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum, one cowboys says to the others, I don't like the sound of that drum... A indian brave hollars from the woods.. we don't either but our regular drummer is out sick.

Two Inuits are out fishing on a kayak...

Two Inuits are out fishing on a kayak. They've been out all day, and the sun's setting. As the temperature drops, they decide to light a campfire on the watercraft, which, unsurprisingly sinks. This just goes to prove that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two guys are on survival training

And it's been days with no food. They've tried snare traps, they've tried fishing with spears. Still nothing. Each night as they light their campfire, they cautiously cook plants, but within hours they are sick. Finally, one of the guys says, "let's try eating wood." He starts breaking up pieces of...

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A joke my dad told me when I was little

Three men decide to take a hunting trip. They get to the camping site and set up their tent and immediately get ready and set out on their first day of hunting. After an hour or so one of the men, frustrated and tired of not bagging any animals yet decided to lean up against a tree and take a rest w...

My oldest dirty joke, From my grandfather around the campfire...

**An old couple gets pulled over and...**

Lady cop - "May I see you license and registration sir?"

Old man - "ugh, what did she say?"

Old wife - "She needs to see you license and registration dear."

**The old man hands it to the lady cop and...**

Lady cop - "Oh, I ...

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A Texan, an Oklahoman, and a Louisianan are sitting around a campfire.

The guy from Louisiana says, “I once moved two hundred head of cattle through a hurricane.”

The Oklahoman scoffs and says, “Heck, that’s nothing. I once moved three hundred head of cattle through two tornados!”

The Texan said nothing and continued to stir the coals of the fire with his...

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Three guys are sitting around the campfire...

...exchanging their worst experiences. The first guy says the worst thing that ever happened to him was, he was up on scaffold 7 stories high washing windows when the scaffold collapsed and he fell, breaking every bone in his body and he was hospitalized for six months.

The second guy says t...

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3 Cowboys NSFW

Three cowboys sat around a campfire, all exchanging tall tales about how tough they all were.

The first cowboy says “I’m the toughest of the bunch. I was out in the tall grass, looking for a good spot to take a piss. All the sudden this snake appears. And you can see in its eyes, it’s out fo...

An American, a Dutchman and a Chinese guy

stranded on a deserted island after being shipwrecked. The American immediately takes charge and points to the Dutch: “You should take care of the wood to build a fire”. The Dutchman confirmes and disappears in the woods.

After that, he points to the Chinese: “you should take care of the supp...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping

One crisp, clear fall day Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After a meal by the campfire followed by a serviceable bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Dr. Watson shakes his friend awake.

"Sherlock, look up at the ...

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3 Tough Cowboys

Three cowboys are sitting around the campfire after a long day on the plains.

The first cowboy says, "I'm the toughest man in the west, I once took three arrows in my back and rode 2 days through Indian infested badlands to get help."

The second cowboy says, "Bah, I'm the toughest man ...

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The drunk Norwegian hunters

Three Norwegian hunters had been out on their yearly hunting trip. The hunt had been a great success as they all bagged a deer.

So now they were drinking around the campfire like the tradition was after a successful hunt. The three celebrated hard and long since it was the first time they al...

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[NSFW] Camping Sex

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, “You know, we’re starting to get on each other’s nerves. Why don’t we split up today. I’ll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend th...

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Three cowboys

Three cowboys sit around a campfire.
One starts to brag about himself.
"I'm so tough, one time one of my bulls got crazy but I quickly realized that I was out of ammo so I fought him with my bare hands!"

The cowboy next to him laughs.
"That's nothing! This one time I fought a pack...

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Sherlock and Watson go camping

One night, Sherlock and Watson go camping. They do the usual things like build a campfire, drink, and roast marshmallows before they call it a night and go to sleep. Later that night, Sherlock wakes up and nudges Watson awake. He turns to Watson and asks if he sees the stars. Watson says yes and She...

Youth Slang

Kids are always coming up with the strangest slang. Remember "on fleek" or when "dank" stopped meaning dingy?

I was working as a counselor at a summer camp one year. The kids came up with a new one and proceeded to absolutely run it into the ground. One day in the cafeteria, one of the ner...

How to catch an elephant

In order to catch an elephant you must first find a nice place near a group of elephants. Then you should dig a hole approximately the same size as the elephant. Then you need to fill the hole half way up with ashes from a campfire. The last step in preparation is to line the rim of the hole you jus...

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A plane ditches off the coast of a deserted tropical island. The pilot, the co-pilot and a hot stewardess are the only survivors...

They start to set up camp. John, the pilot builds a hut, Jack, the co-pilot does his best in hunting and gathering, and Jane a campfire going. The eat all together, look at the stars and ponder on their new fate. After nightfall, they get into the hut, cuddle to keep warm and fall asleep.

The...

An British, Mexican, French and American soldier were drinking around a campfire in Iraq

The British soldier finished drinking his bottle of whisky , threw it into the desert and shot the bottle.

"Why did you do that?" asked the French soldier.

"Because in Britain we have lots of whisky"

The French Soldier finished his bottle of wine, and like the British soldier he...

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How Texas got its name (If you are from Texas you may not want to read it)

These three cowboys were traveling south and finally crossed the border from Oklahoma into a new territory that was still owned by Mexico. As they sat down to make camp that night one of them looked around as the sun set over the horizon and asked his companions "what should we name this place? I am...

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R/jokes

Three Veterans were gathered around a campfire during a vacation after their tours ended. They tried to regale each other with tales of valor. Each attempted to outdo the other.

The Army Ranger talked of his many kills in Afghanistan and how he once picked off a Taliban sniper at 1000 mete...

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A man and wife go camping

The wife is trying to get the campfire going but all the logs are damp, so she sends her husband off to find some.

Many hours later he returns, walking as if his ass is on fire.

His wife says, 'well where's the fire logs' to which her husband replies, ' I found a store full of countr...

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Cowboy rides into town....

( For cake day i suggest telling these jokes in series )

A cowboy rides into town. All the way down the main drag, he sees not a single soul.
He pulls up in front of the saloon and the only other person around is the sheriff, sitting on the porch.
He dismounts, ties up his horse, tips...

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2 Hobos

Two hobos are sitting around a campfire, cooking up some squirrel and talking about good luck.

The first hobo says, "My luckiest day was the day I found a wallet with $150.00 in it and NO ID. I was drunk for a week straight."

The scond hobo says, "My luckiest day was the day I found a...

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Hitler, Pol pot and George W Bush were...

together in hell sitting around a campfire. They are telling each other stories from the time they were alive and having a great time laughing over the evil things they have done.

As the night goes on, they get into a discussion about who might be the vilest, most evil and most universally ...

Zalporin

Luke and Leia are on a mission to a remote Rebel base when they receive a distress call from the Millennium Falcon. Tracing its homing beacon, they discover that the ship is stranded on a planet called Zalporin, on the other side of the galaxy.

"I've heard of this world," Leia says, gravely c...

A man named 'That' really loved cakes.

Once he fell into a campfire while eating his favorite cake.

>**That** got dark real quick.

That’s a smart dog

Two farmers are in town talking about how smart their dogs are:
1st farmer yells out: “Dog! Get me the paper”
His dog races off down the street to the local news agency, gets the daily paper drops it in his owners hand and sits down.
“Not bad” says the 2nd farmer.
“Bluey, I’m hungry” he...

A grumpy, drunken, old cowboy was riding his horse near the Mexican border when he noticed it chewing on a strange, stout cactus.

Before long, the pony started behaving strangely, walking slowly and irregularly and not responding to the cowboys commands.
The cowboy became progressively more frustrated, as well as more drunk and more mean as he continued to glug himself into the depths of his whiskey bottle.
The horse ev...

An old couple had trouble remembering anything

An old couple, Agnes and Fred, had trouble remembering anything.

During a checkup, the doctor tells the couple they are okay physically but should repeat everything to one another to help them remember things.

One night, Fred offered to make a bowl of ice cream for Agnes while they wer...

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(Nsfw) The lone ranger and Tonto are travelling when they are captured by a band of outlaws

They bury the Lone ranger up to his neck in the dirt. The outlaws ask the lone ranger if he has any last requests before they leave him to die.


"Yes I do, tonto come here a moment"


Tonto comes over and the lone ranger whispers something in his ear. Suddenly tonto makes a run f...

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3 shepherd in the mountain

3 shepherds are going in the mountain to pasture their sheep for a few months. Two grizzled veterans and one new guy.
After a few weeks, at campfire at night, the new guy, a little ashamed, asks the old ones if they don't miss women...
"Yeah of course we do, but if it gets too much pressur...

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Two bear hunters...

... are sitting around the campfire after a long, successful day of bear hunting. They had just finished cleaning and gutting their bears when the first bear hunter declares, "I gotta poo." So he runs off into the woods to do his business.
An hour passes, and the second bear hunter begins to wor...

Jimbo and Jon, two cowboys see a wanted poster for Indian scalps...

The poster says there will be a fifty dollar reward for each scalp brought back. So Jimbo and Jon decide to try and make some money.

They get supplies together and head straight into Apache territory hoping to find a couple unsuspecting Indians. The first day they manage to sneak up on one an...

Rodeo Position

Two old cowboys are sitting around a campfire and drinking. Somewhat drunk and not in the best frame of mind one turns to the other and say’s “I miss my missus, but when we make love it’s always the same”. Somewhat taken aback, but curious nonetheless, the other cowboy asks “how’s that?” “We alway...

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Theme 3: 1 Liners, Words of Wisdom

*I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

*Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

*Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in ...

Native American Father

A Native American Father was sitting around the campfire with his 3 daughters and the oldest asks "father where do our names come from?" The father replies "well my daughter we give names based on what happened the evening the child is conceived. On the night you were conceived there was a full moon...

the greenhorn

A greenhorn comes from back east to try his hand at prospecting. He buys his gear and heads off into the hills. He has a couple of lonely weeks, with a little bit of success finding gold.

He's sitting by his campfire one evening when this crusty old prospector shows up and says "Howdy there...

Sherlock and Watson go camping...

Sherlock and Watson go camping one night. They light the campfire, eat a meal, drink some champagne, and go to the tent to sleep.

Later that night, Sherlock wakes Watson up.

"Watson, look up at the sky." he says. "What do you see?"

"I see lots and lots of stars" he replies.
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If the log rolls over, we're gonna die!

(This is really best told around a campfire or some other scary story circle. It should be delivered as a scary story right till the end. My dad loves to tell this one.)

A couple got stranded in a storm out in the middle of no where. There was nothing but pasture and woods all around them, an...

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Three explorers are in Egypt (long)

and they stumble upon some old ruins. In the ruins they find a big room, with three doors. The first explorer, Henry, goes up to the door and reads: "Who ever enters this door will die a fiery death." He doesn't believe in superstitions, so he goes through the door to find a long hallway. At the end...

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What Luck!

Boarding an airplane, a young fellow was very excited he'd been upgraded to First Class and he'd never flown in First Class. As he settled down for a long flight he notices that Beyoncé was sitting right next to him! After a rough storm, the plane came crashing down into the ocean. All passengers w...

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A Hunter's Resilience

Two deer hunters had decided to go hunting on opening day of the season. They had left in the afternoon because both had day jobs and could not get time off.

About halfway to their turn-off they see a sign that reads, "Aunt Gracy's Diner, Next Exit". They were ahead of schedule, so both agree...

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