Kelvin and Celsius had a job interview but only one of them got the job.

It was Celsius because he had a degree.

You don't wanna mess with Kelvin.

He's an absolute unit.

A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him.

He’s the new temp.

Why does God tell temperatures only in Kelvins and not Celsius or Fahrenheit?

Because God's words are absolute.

I would apply for a job measuring the Kelvin scale...

... but I have zero degrees.

"Should we adopt the Kelvin temperature scale?"

"That would just make everything seem larger."

"Yeah, it is an absolute unit."

What do you call ice that’s at 0 kelvin?

Still water.

My chemistry teacher keeps talking about this guy "Kelvin" like he's soooo cool,

but in my opinion he is absolutely 0K.

Why do the Jedi refuse to measure temperature using Kelvin?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes

I don't like Fahrenheit. I don't like Celsius. I don't like Kelvin.

I prefer to measure my degrees in Radians.

Coach: “My boy Kelvin here is gonna freeze out the competition.”

Interviewer: “Is that him over there?Wow, what an absolute unit!”

I used to work with a guy called Kelvin.

He was an absolute unit!

Did you hear about the man who tried to freeze himself at 0° Kelvin?

He's 0K now

How is Bill Cosby like an environment at 0 Kelvin?

When around both, one eventually stops moving.

Forgive me.

What’s the suns favourite clothes brand?

Kelvin Klein

What do thermometers wear for underwear?

Kelvin Klein

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump visits NASA...

He called a meeting of all the top scientists and department heads. As a staffer called for quiet, everyone took a seat and Trump stepped up to the lectern and began speaking.

"I'm very happy to be here with the fine people of NASA today. Very happy. As you know, during my campaign I promised...

She wanted space.

My wife says I take things too literally.
I say if you say you want "space" and I put you in a vacuum chamber chilled to 2.7 degrees Kelvin you got what you asked for. Roughly.

-40° outside sounds brutally cold, Fahrenheit or Celsius.

My friend Kelvin just rolled his eyes.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.