UPJOKE

### Kelvin and Celsius had a job interview but only one of them got the job.

It was Celsius because he had a degree.

### I named my overweight cat Kelvin

Because he is an absolute unit.

### Why does God tell temperatures only in Kelvins and not Celsius or Fahrenheit?

Because God's words are absolute.

### Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

### My coworker, Kelvin, recently retired from the weather station and was replaced by a new guy named Celsius

He's the new temp.

### "Should we adopt the Kelvin temperature scale?"

"That would just make everything seem larger."

"Yeah, it is an absolute unit."

### When asked the temperature I enjoy giving it in Kelvin.

I’m losing my friends by degrees.

### I don't like Fahrenheit. I don't like Celsius. I don't like Kelvin.

I prefer to measure my degrees in Radians.

### I would apply for a job measuring the Kelvin scale...

... but I have zero degrees.

### Coach: “My boy Kelvin here is gonna freeze out the competition.”

Interviewer: “Is that him over there?Wow, what an absolute unit!”

Still water.

### How is Bill Cosby like an environment at 0 Kelvin?

When around both, one eventually stops moving.

Forgive me.

### Did you hear about the man who tried to freeze himself at 0° Kelvin?

He's 0K now

but in my opinion he is absolutely 0K.

### I used to work with a guy called Kelvin.

He was an absolute unit!

### So do you use Celsius or Fahrenheit?

"So do you use Celsius or Fahrenheit?"

"I use Melvin."

"You mean Kelvin?"

"Nah mate. Melvin. YO MELVIN! IS IT COLD OUTSIDE!?"

Kelvin Klein

Kelvin Klein

### She wanted space.

My wife says I take things too literally.
I say if you say you want "space" and I put you in a vacuum chamber chilled to 2.7 degrees Kelvin you got what you asked for. Roughly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### Old Sven collapsed one chill November Saturday after chopping maple wood near his house in the birch forest, five miles outside of Eagle River, Wisconsin.

He arose, sauntered home and changed into his flannel, tractor-print pajamas. It grew quiet and his breathing became labored. So, Sven lay down on the plaid-quilted single bed in the green guest room. His wife, Lena, tended to his care. He said nothing and sipped only a cup of water or two. On the e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### Trump visits NASA...

He called a meeting of all the top scientists and department heads. As a staffer called for quiet, everyone took a seat and Trump stepped up to the lectern and began speaking.

"I'm very happy to be here with the fine people of NASA today. Very happy. As you know, during my campaign I promised...

### -40° outside sounds brutally cold, Fahrenheit or Celsius.

My friend Kelvin just rolled his eyes.