Have you met my friend Kelvin

He's an absolute unit.

Coach: “My boy Kelvin here is gonna freeze out the competition.”

Interviewer: “Is that him over there?Wow, what an absolute unit!”

When I learnt that the coldest temperature in the universe is 0 Kelvin, I thought to myself,

That's an absolute unit right there

I used to work with a guy called Kelvin.

He was an absolute unit!

Why don't Jedi measure temperatures in Kelvin?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

I don't like Fahrenheit. I don't like Celsius. I don't like Kelvin.

I prefer to measure my degrees in Radians.

How is Bill Cosby like an environment at 0 Kelvin?

When around both, one eventually stops moving.

Forgive me.

Did you hear about the man who tried to freeze himself at 0° Kelvin?

He's 0K now

She wanted space.

My wife says I take things too literally.
I say if you say you want "space" and I put you in a vacuum chamber chilled to 2.7 degrees Kelvin you got what you asked for. Roughly.

What do thermometers wear for underwear?

Kelvin Klein

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Trump visits NASA...

He called a meeting of all the top scientists and department heads. As a staffer called for quiet, everyone took a seat and Trump stepped up to the lectern and began speaking.

"I'm very happy to be here with the fine people of NASA today. Very happy. As you know, during my campaign I promised...

Baby, you're so hot, you're an absolute 10

... on the Kelvin scale.

-40° outside sounds brutally cold, Fahrenheit or Celsius.

My friend Kelvin just rolled his eyes.