This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dickhead brother is named Kelvin

It's because he's an absolute unit.

Kelvin and Celsius had a job interview but only one of them got the job.

It was Celsius because he had a degree.

A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him.

He’s the new temp.

When asked the temperature I enjoy giving it in Kelvin.

I’m losing my friends by degrees.

Why does God tell temperatures only in Kelvins and not Celsius or Fahrenheit?

Because God's words are absolute.

Why do the Jedi refuse to measure temperature using Kelvin?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes

What do you call ice that’s at 0 kelvin?

Still water.

I would apply for a job measuring the Kelvin scale...

... but I have zero degrees.

Coach: “My boy Kelvin here is gonna freeze out the competition.”

Interviewer: “Is that him over there?Wow, what an absolute unit!”

I don't like Fahrenheit. I don't like Celsius. I don't like Kelvin.

I prefer to measure my degrees in Radians.

My chemistry teacher keeps talking about this guy "Kelvin" like he's soooo cool,

but in my opinion he is absolutely 0K.

I used to work with a guy called Kelvin.

He was an absolute unit!

Did you hear about the man who tried to freeze himself at 0° Kelvin?

He's 0K now

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump visits NASA...

He called a meeting of all the top scientists and department heads. As a staffer called for quiet, everyone took a seat and Trump stepped up to the lectern and began speaking.

"I'm very happy to be here with the fine people of NASA today. Very happy. As you know, during my campaign I promised...

What’s the suns favourite clothes brand?

Kelvin Klein

Baby, you're so hot, you're an absolute 10

... on the Kelvin scale.

She wanted space.

My wife says I take things too literally.
I say if you say you want "space" and I put you in a vacuum chamber chilled to 2.7 degrees Kelvin you got what you asked for. Roughly.

What do thermometers wear for underwear?

Kelvin Klein

-40° outside sounds brutally cold, Fahrenheit or Celsius.

My friend Kelvin just rolled his eyes.

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