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Coles Jokes

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Murphy’s law is about bad luck, Godwin’s law is about Hitler, and ColesLaw is...

Finely sliced cabbage, with a vinegar or mayonnaise based dressing

I went to Coles to buy a cabbage but apparently it’s a legal requirement to buy mayonnaise and carrots too.

It’s Coles Law.

Man has plans to kill his wife

This guy is talking to a group of friends,

"I want my wife dead, but I don't want to do it myself, I'll pay anyone $1000 to kill her for me".

One of his friends Arty speaks up and says,

"I don't like your wife either, I'll do it for a dollar".

"Great"! He responds, "you c...

(For my Aussies out there) What do you call a burnt down Woolworths?

Coles/Coals!

Just heard on the news that some supermarkets are severely restricting how many of a particular item you can buy!

Woolworths > 1 - Container of hand sanitiser, 1 - 500g pack of rice, 1 - Ppack of toilet paper;

Coles > 1- pack of toilet paper, 1 - Container of hand sanitiser, 1 - Can of beans;

Aldi > 1 - MIG welder, 1 - Ladies sports bra, 1 - 2m tall garden trellis

There was this homeless man named Arty

There was this homeless man named Arty, always down on his luck, would do anything for a dollar.



One day a rich man came up to Arty and said he needed his business partner killed and would pay Arty a dollar for the trouble. He informed Arty that this business partner always shopped at...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Poor Schapelle Corby,

shes missed out on so much the past 10 years. Imagine the 1st time she goes to use the self serve checkouts at coles 'Unexpected item in bag.'
"Shit not this again"

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