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What do toilet paper and the USS Enterprise have in common?

They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons!



Happy Star Trek day

[Long] This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. It was released by the Canadian Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision

Canadians: Negative. Divert your course 15 degrees to the South

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy sh...

Paranormal happenings in the Navy

Just found out that the USS Enterprise (CVN-65, sorry to Trekkies) was haunted. The apparition of a human figure, from the waist down and appearing to have been messily severed from the rest of the body, would walk the ship’s passageways.

While nobody is sure of the ghost’s identity or the ex...

What always clogged the toilet on the USS Enterprise?

Captain's Log

What do a snowstorm in Florida, a hula hoop with a nail in it, and the USS Adams have in common?

They're all navel destroyers.

TIL in 1937 the Germans sank their own U-boat instead of the American USS Anders.

"Sorry, wrong sub"

What happened when the USS Enterprise got a new toilet?

William Shatner

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A young woman is ready for her first mission in the US Navy.

She sits down across the Lieutenant's desk, ready to be assigned. "You will be serving on the USS Trojan," the Lieutenant says, "A state-of-the-art Submarine erected in 2003, and has never been in the water."

"Never been in the water? Even after 17 years?" She asks, the Lieutenant nods.
...

English ships start with HMS, United states with USS... what about Italian ships?

AMB.

It's stands for, 'Atsa Ma Boat!'

US Battleship and Canadian Navy

I remembered an old joke I read awhile back. Some details may be off, but figured I had to share:

An American battleship ship is traveling at night around Canada when the radio comes on. It says "Canadian Navy to American Battleship, we have detected that you are on a collision course with us...

One day on the USS-Enterprise...

Captain Picard tears his uniform. Now, normally he could just replicate a new one, but he was particularly fond of this uniform and so he went to get it mended in the uniform repair machine, but it was broken. So he called Geordi LaForge.

"Geordi, the machine that repairs uniforms is broken....

What do you call a communist pirate ship?

The USS-ARRR

What would you call the jokes about soviet union in this sub?

The USS r/jokes

Where do you find the Communist pirates?

In the USS-Arr!

What is a Soviet pirate's favorite ship?

The USS Arr.

How does data travel through space?

On the USS Enterprise

My dad got me with this one earlier.

"So, you know how ships from America are USS whatever, right? Well, that stands for United States Ship. In England, they use HMS. And that means Her Majesty's Ship. In Italy, though, they use AMB. Know what that means?" "What?" "ATTSA MY BOAT!"

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The sailor's birthday

Because of a minor infraction, a sailor aboard the USS Reeves, bound for Japan, was busted one rank, fined and given extra duty for three weeks. Looking forward to celebrating his 21st birthday on July 22, he consoled himself every night during his extra duty by reciting, "They can bust me, they can...

A Guy is Walking Through a Marina

He looks over and sees a Boat with AMB on the prow.

As he's thinking about it....
American ships are called USS...United States Ship
British are called HMS...Her Majesty's Ship

For the life of him he could not place what AMB would stand for.

So he calls down to the gentlem...

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