UPJOKE
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Triangle Jokes

What kind kind of triangle is a tortilla chip?

An i-salsa-les triangle
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Where did the square go after killing the triangle?

To prism.
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Q. What's the best kind of triangle to ask out on a date?

A. Acute Triangle
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What did the triangle say to the circle?

You're pointless! (by the way, my 8 year old heard at school)
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I’m currently in a love triangle

I like this girl, this girl likes nobody, and nobody likes me.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three kingdoms lay on a triangle lake

One kingdom lies on each side of the lake. For decades, the king's had argued over it's true owner, each claiming to be the first kingdom to settle there, and many tales of magical swords and godly favours to claim divine right. Eventually, this story telling and legal battling came to no conclusion...

What newspaper does a triangle read?

...the *hypotenews*
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You hear what happened when the triangle tried to make all its angles 90 degree?

Didn't end well, I hear it's a wrecked angle now.
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I used to be in a reggae band once. I played the triangle.

I ended up leaving though, it was just one ting after another.
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What does a triangle call a circle?

Pointless.
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What do you call a triangle with angles 42.0°, 69° and 69°?

A Nice-osceles triangle.
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What kills people who sail through the Bermuda Triangle?

Heat exhaustion - it's 180 degrees inside of a triangle.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's common between a Blonde and Bermuda Triangle

They both swallowed a lot of Semen

The Bermuda Triangle is a great vacationing spot

most people that go there, never come back.
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A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...

... thanks for every ting.
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Why don't four-year-olds play the triangle?

Because at that age, they're too squared
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Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?

So that it'll fit inside the box.
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Why was the rectangle in love with a triangle?

She has acute angle.
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New study shows bodies found from the Bermuda Triangle all died from heat exhaustion...

...everyone knows its 180 degrees inside a triangle, I don't know why people even bother traveling through it.
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What do you get when you cross a rock'n'roller with a triangle of cheese spread?

DairyLea Lewis
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Did you hear that actress Tuesday Weld was involved in a love triangle with golfers Davis Love The Third and Don January?

She became pregnant and didn’t know whose kid it was so she named it Tuesday January The Third.
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I saw a right triangle resting under a tree.

I thought, "Wow, 90 degrees in the shade!"
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I would like to put on record my appreciation for the guys who play the triangle in orchestras.

Thanks for every ting.
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I'm really pleased that our band has just signed a Jamaican triangle player.

Now every little *ting* is gonna be all right!
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How did the triangle kill itself?

It used a hypotenuse.
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What did the triangle say to the circle?

“Ay bb you’re all curves, lemme smash. Come on, just the tip.”

So the circle says

“Wow … you’re rather pointed”

And the triangle replies,

“At least I’m not a square.”
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What do you call a triangle that's had too much to drink?

A rekt angle
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An angel once visited me but only described the measurements of a triangle to me.

Its felt like a sine from God
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How do you climb a triangle?

By scalene it
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I'm trying to buy one of those triangle-shaped cabins, but my credit isn't good enough to get a loan.

I'll have to get someone to cosine.
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What is the difference between Germany and the bermuda triangle?

The bermuda triangle has three points.
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I wanted to take ownership of a building shaped like a triangle.

But I couldn’t get anyone to cosine.
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What do your room and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?

Things mysteriously disappear there.
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What would you call the Bermuda Triangle if it had four edges?

The Bermuda wreck tangle
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Why was the triangle sent to hell?

Cos sin
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The bermuda triangle used to be known as the bermuda rectangle,

until one of the sides mysteriously vanished.
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I had a joke about the hypotenuse of a triangle…

I’m only able to tell one side of the story, though.
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My room is like the Bermuda triangle

stuff goes in and is never seen again.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the trigonometrical ratio of a triangle go to jail?

Because cos B is a sexual offender.

What's J. K. Rowling's favourite side of a triangle?

The Harrypotenuse
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A circle is circular, a triangle is triangular, a rectangle is rectangular, but a square is...

You. You're a square.
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I once worked with a very musically talented Jamaican who, after years of auditions for various instruments, got a gig in the local orchestra playing the triangle - not his first choice. One day he came in super stressed looking. I said "What's up? Can't handle the pressure of performing on stage?"

He says, "You have no idea mon, I be responsible for every ting."
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Q: Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?

A: They were right for each other
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A mysterious force drug a pirate ship closer to the Bermuda Triangle, alarming the captain.

The captain asked the lookout in the the crow's nest what he saw.

The lookout replied, "Captain, we be sailing tangent to stormy seas. It be a sine the secant be good."

The captain responded, "Aye, the sea put this here crew in a triggy situation."
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How to create your very own Bermuda triangle?

1. Surround yourself with relatives.
2. Submerge in their expectations. Watch all your hopes and dreams disappear!



PS:- Extra effective if you are Asian, especially Indian!

Edit : True Story.. I am an Indian and I approve this >\_<
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It's so sad I just realized Earth isn't a triangle shape!!

Well I guess there isn't any point in life anymore
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What kind of church does a triangle attend?

Anglican.
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I was in a love triangle with my girlfriend and a tool. I told her she had to choose. Me or him.

She chose the ladder.
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What did the triangle say to the square?

Nice quads bro.
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My dad asked me why my math scores were weak. I told him that I found myself caught in a love triangle.

He looked concerned, sat down with me and said, "You know you can tell me anything right? What's really going on?"

I replied "I don't know how to explain this to you but the four of us are in love... "
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happened to the triangle after he saw porn for the first time?

He became erectangle

What do you call a triangle that got OWNED?

A rectangle.
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You know what they say about cows in the Bermuda Triangle...

They moo in mysterious waves
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Gianna, a beautiful woman, was in the midst of a love triangle with two best friends, Nathan and Joel

Obviously this caused tension between the besties, and as such also troubled Gianna - she liked each one equally.

So on the 11th of February, she spoke to the two lovestruck rivals and challenged them.

"On Valentine's Day, each of you will get me a card - no gift, only a card. The one ...
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A horse walks into a bar and says, “On a right-angled triangle with sides X, Y and Z, if X and Z are perpendicular, which side is opposite the right angle?”

The bartender says, “Y, long face.”
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was in a love triangle...

...with a man named Chris and a man named Tom. Chris was just so sweet but damn Tom was sexy. She’s walking down the road talking to her friend about it and just saying “I don’t know who I want! They both proposed! Chris or Tom?” And all of a sudden a fat man with a big beard came up and said “I ove...

What do you call a triangle with four sides and a serious drinking problem?

A wrecked angle.
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Why do math textbooks only ever give you one angle in a triangle?

Just cos.
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What did the triangle need to do before he could get a loan?

He needed somebody to cosine.
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What do you call the longest side of a suicidal right-angled triangle?

The hypotenoose.
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How did the triangle know he had appendicitis?

He had an acute pain in his side!
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What kind of triangle jokes can never be made right?

Ones with an obtuse angle.
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What kind of animal lives in a triangle

Hippotenuse
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What did the triangle say to the preacher?

Forgive me father for I have sin().
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Taking the side length that’s opposite of an angle in a right triangle is very much frowned upon.

It’s considered a sin.
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What do you call a triangle that gets into an accident?

A Wreckedangle
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Why didn't the triangle go outside to get a tan?

Cos the sine said so!
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Police officer to a driver: “OK, driver’s license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle.”

Driver: “Nah, I’ve already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain’s cap?"
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If you build a triangle with sticks.

Would it be, twigernometry?
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Triangles...

What’s the point?
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One day the triangle player of an orchestra gets very ill and goes to the hospital.

He spends the entire day practising despite his fever and all his constant sneezing and sniffling. The next day, he goes home to find his house surrounded by police cars.

He asks a police officer, "What happened?"

The officer replies, "Your conductor came by your house to talk to you ...
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What did one triangle say to the other triangle?

Hey, we should get together and square dance!
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Chuck Norris's password is the last 9 digits of pi.

Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice

Chuck Norris can cross a vector with a scalar

Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw a circle with exactly 100 degrees.

Chuck Norris is so badass he can find value of a variable in an expansion without fac...
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