What did the triangle say to the circle?

"You are pointless!"

What's J. K. Rowling's favourite side of a triangle?

The Harrypotenuse

What kind kind of triangle is a tortilla chip?

An i-salsa-les triangle

I would like to put on record my appreciation for the guys who play the triangle in orchestras.

Thanks for every ting.

I used to play the triangle in a reggae band

It was a pretty sweet gig, all i did was stand in the back and ting.

What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?

They both swallow a lot of sea men.

How do triangles commit suicide?

With a hypotenoose

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Three kingdoms lay on a triangle lake

One kingdom lies on each side of the lake. For decades, the king's had argued over it's true owner, each claiming to be the first kingdom to settle there, and many tales of magical swords and godly favours to claim divine right. Eventually, this story telling and legal battling came to no conclusion...

Where did the square go after killing the triangle?

To prism.

Gianna, a beautiful woman, was in the midst of a love triangle with two best friends, Nathan and Joel

Obviously this caused tension between the besties, and as such also troubled Gianna - she liked each one equally.

So on the 11th of February, she spoke to the two lovestruck rivals and challenged them.

"On Valentine's Day, each of you will get me a card - no gift, only a card. The one ...

Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?

So that it'll fit inside the box.

The Bermuda triangle used to be known as the Bermuda rectangle...

...until one of the sides mysteriously vanished...

A circle is circular, a triangle is triangular, a rectangle is rectangular, but a square is...

You. You're a square.

A horse walks into a bar and says, “On a right-angled triangle with sides X, Y and Z, if X and Z are perpendicular, which side is opposite the right angle?”

The bartender says, “Y, long face.”

What did the right triangle do after he lost one of his angles?

He went on a tangent.

How to create your very own Bermuda triangle?

1. Surround yourself with relatives.
2. Submerge in their expectations. Watch all your hopes and dreams disappear!



PS:- Extra effective if you are Asian, especially Indian!

Edit : True Story.. I am an Indian and I approve this >\_<

What newspaper does a triangle read?

...the *hypotenews*

I once worked with a very musically talented Jamaican

I once worked with a very musically talented Jamaican who, after years of auditions for various instruments, got a gig in the local orchestra playing the triangle- not his first choice. One day he came in super stressed looking.

I said “What’s up...can't handle the pressure of performing on ...

What's it called when a triangle has multiple partners?

Polygony.

What do you call a triangle with attitude?

An isasceles triangle

My friend and I were having a heated argument about the angle of a triangle

Things got messy and we went off tangent

What is the difference between Germany and the bermuda triangle?

The bermuda triangle has three points.

The circle and the triangle

So a triangle and a circle meet each other and the triangle says: "you're pointless."

To which the circle replies: "that's how I roll!"

What do you call a triangle that gets into an accident?

A Wreckedangle

Why did the mathematician shout “triangle!” At a deaf person?

He was speaking sine language

Which body part hurts most when you get hit by a right-angled triangle?

Your sinuses.

How do triangles talk to each other?

Sine language

Taking the side length that’s opposite of an angle in a right triangle is very much frowned upon.

It’s considered a sin.

Nobody in the world knows what those tiny sideways triangles on a keyboard mean.

Well, more or less.

Why isn’t Taylor Swift a pair of congruent triangles?

Because there’s no ASS

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Why don’t triangles have an SSA Congruence Theorem?

‘Cause that would be ass-backwards.

New study shows bodies found from the Bermuda Triangle all died from heat exhaustion...

...everyone knows its 180 degrees inside a triangle, I don't know why people even bother traveling through it.

Two triangles are having difficulty buying an apartment.

It turns out they needed to cosine.

Why was the triangle sent to hell?

Cos sin

What do you call a triangle with four sides and a serious drinking problem?

A wrecked angle.

Today, in math class, we had to label triangles.

I would tell you the answers, but they're all classified now.

Why is it called a right triangle?

Because there are no degrees left!

I was in a love triangle with my girlfriend and a tool. I told her she had to choose. Me or him.

She chose the ladder.

How do you climb a triangle?

By scalene it

Q: Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?

A: They were right for each other

Why do math textbooks only ever give you one angle in a triangle?

Just cos.

One day the triangle player of an orchestra gets very ill and goes to the hospital.

He spends the entire day practising despite his fever and all his constant sneezing and sniffling. The next day, he goes home to find his house surrounded by police cars.

He asks a police officer, "What happened?"

The officer replies, "Your conductor came by your house to talk to you ...

My trigonometry teacher and I got into a fight because she thinks triangles are the simplest polygon.

However, I think we can let digons be digons.

What do you call a triangle that got OWNED?

A rectangle.

What kind of church does a triangle attend?

Anglican.

How did the right triangle commit suicide?

With a Hypote-noose

Why didn't the triangle go outside to get a tan?

Cos the sine said so!

How did the triangle know he had appendicitis?

He had an acute pain in his side!

Police officer to a driver: “OK, driver’s license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle.”

Driver: “Nah, I’ve already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain’s cap?"

Why did the obtuse triangle go to the beach?

Because it was more than 90 degrees.

What did the triangle need to do before he could get a loan?

He needed somebody to cosine.

If you build a triangle with sticks.

Would it be, twigernometry?

You know what they say about cows in the Bermuda Triangle...

They moo in mysterious waves

What did the triangle say to the preacher?

Forgive me father for I have sin().

My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle

Information goes in, but is often never found again

How do you prove triangles congruent with attitude?

Do it with SAS.

What kind of triangle jokes can never be made right?

Ones with an obtuse angle.

What kind of animal lives in a triangle

Hippotenuse

What did one triangle say to the other triangle?

Hey, we should get together and square dance!

My wife told me length doesn’t matter, but I caught her cheating on me with some guy named Pythagorus.

I knew the moment our paths crossed my life would take a different trajectory.

Just wasn’t expecting it to end in a love triangle. I guess I didn’t understand the magnitude of the situation.

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Old man at work told me this one!

What's the difference between a vagina and a cunt?

"You know when you open that playboy centerfold and you see that little triangle shape between her legs?" "That's the vagina....everything else around it is a cunt."

Recycled ones. But love them. 36 Math jokes and puns

Beginner

1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal?

Because he would have to convert.

2. Why do plants hate math?

It gives them square roots.

3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?

It was a mean thing to s...

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The truth-talking dog

A man had built great wealth, touring the globe with a truth-talking dog.

A friendly local thought this was too good to be true and paid the $50 entry fee to see for himself.

As he entered, the dog started immediately:
“Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon”
“The square ro...

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Dave wanted to send a letter to his girlfriend..

So he goes to the nearby market to buy an envelope. Just as he is about to enter the store, a man rushes out the market, furious,yelling and swearing. Dave didn't want to get in the mans way and just lets him pass. He enters the store and finds the cashier, a young lady, crying.

"Is everythi...

Why was Yoda bad at geometry?

Because to him there are no triangles, only do-or-do-not-angles

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A man is tested by a psychologist for sexual obsession.

The psychologist draws a line and asks the man what it is. "This is a penis," answers the man.

Then the psychologist draws a circle and asks the man the same question. "This is a tit," replies the man.

Finally the psychologist draws a triangle, which the man identifies as a vagina...

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Man: Doctor i think i have a problem, everywhere i look i see naked women

Doctor: interesting. Alright let's see. *doctor draws a circle on paper.* What do you see here?

Man: A naked woman

Doctor: Hmm. *draws a rectangle on paper.* And what do you see here?

Man: A naked woman again

Doctor: Alright. *draws a triangle on paper*. And here?

...

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Four men and their dogs

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man as an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Worker.

To show off, the Engineer called to his dog. "T-Square, do your stuff." T-square trotted over to a desk, took...

Turns out that HR isn't happy that I invited some co-workers over to play a drinking game

I don't see what's so bad about playing a little devil's triangle to get to know people better

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