A triangle says to a circle: You're pointless.

Then the circle says back: That's how I roll.

How would a triangle kill itself?

With the hypotenoose.

What would you call the Bermuda Triangle if it had four edges?

The Bermuda wreck tangle

Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?

So that it'll fit inside the box.

What kind kind of triangle is a tortilla chip?

An i-salsa-les triangle

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was asked to play the triangle in our local symphony orchestra. I quit almost immediately, though...

It was just one fucking ting after another.

My Son: (kindergarten at the time) Dad, what’s a square with a triangle on top of it?

Me: A house?

Son: No. It’s your mom’s house.

A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...

... thanks for every ting.

Have you seen Cele’s triangles?

Well Isosceles Triangles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three kingdoms border a lake in the shape of an obtuse triangle

One kingdom lies on each side of the lake. For decades, the king's had argued over it's true owner, each claiming to be the first kingdom to settle there, and many tales of magical swords and godly favours to claim divine right. Eventually, this storytelling and legal battling came to no conclusion,...

Why did the triangle not marry the circle?

He was pointless

What did the triangle say to the square?

Nice quads bro.

I'm really pleased that our band has just signed a Jamaican triangle player.

Now every little *ting* is gonna be all right!

WHY AREN'T THERE MANY JOKES ABOUT TRIANGLES?

Because some of them are Obtuse

A mummy calls a restauraunt.

- Hello, I would like to reserve a table for the pharaoh Sakhrakhotep I.
- Could you spell it out, please?
- Of course. Bird, two triangles, wavy line, the sun, bird agin, jackal's head and a scarab.

What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?

They both swallow a lot of sea men.

Where did the square go after killing the triangle?

To prism.

My dad asked me why my math scores were weak. I told him that I found myself caught in a love triangle.

He looked concerned, sat down with me and said, "You know you can tell me anything right? What's really going on?"

I replied "I don't know how to explain this to you but the four of us are in love... "

A mysterious force drug a pirate ship closer to the Bermuda Triangle, alarming the captain.

The captain asked the lookout in the the crow's nest what he saw.

The lookout replied, "Captain, we be sailing tangent to stormy seas. It be a sine the secant be good."

The captain responded, "Aye, the sea put this here crew in a triggy situation."

I saw a right triangle resting under a tree.

I thought, "Wow, 90 degrees in the shade!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the trigonometrical ratio of a triangle go to jail?

Because cos B is a sexual offender.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A psychiatrist was testing a patient’s personality. He drew a circle on a paper.

And asked the patient, “What does this remind you of?”

The patient answered, “Sex.”

The shrink drew a square and asked again, “What does this remind you of?”

“Sex,” the patient replied.

Then the doctor drew a triangle.

“It reminds me of sex,” the patient stated. ...

My room is like the Bermuda triangle

stuff goes in and is never seen again.

How to create your very own Bermuda triangle?

1. Surround yourself with relatives.
2. Submerge in their expectations. Watch all your hopes and dreams disappear!



PS:- Extra effective if you are Asian, especially Indian!

Edit : True Story.. I am an Indian and I approve this >\_<

Once upon a time in a far away land...

There's a triangular lake, with three kingdoms on each side of the triangle.

The first kingdom is very rich, and the people are content. It has a very competent army, with a squire for every knight, and a total of twenty thousand knights. There is no hunger in the land.

The second kin...

What newspaper does a triangle read?

...the *hypotenews*

I once worked with a very musically talented Jamaican who, after years of auditions for various instruments, got a gig in the local orchestra playing the triangle - not his first choice. One day he came in super stressed looking. I said "What's up? Can't handle the pressure of performing on stage?"

He says, "You have no idea mon, I be responsible for every ting."

I would like to put on record my appreciation for the guys who play the triangle in orchestras.

Thanks for every ting.

I love bacon sandwiches cut into little triangles...

Strip clubs are awesome!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happened to the triangle after he saw porn for the first time?

He became erectangle

What's J. K. Rowling's favourite side of a triangle?

The Harrypotenuse

The bermuda triangle used to be known as the bermuda rectangle,

until one of the sides mysteriously vanished.

A circle is circular, a triangle is triangular, a rectangle is rectangular, but a square is...

You. You're a square.

How do triangles talk to each other?

Sine language

Two triangles are having difficulty buying an apartment.

It turns out they needed to cosine.

New study shows bodies found from the Bermuda Triangle all died from heat exhaustion...

...everyone knows its 180 degrees inside a triangle, I don't know why people even bother traveling through it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave wanted to send a letter to his girlfriend..

So he goes to the nearby market to buy an envelope. Just as he is about to enter the store, a man rushes out the market, furious,yelling and swearing. Dave didn't want to get in the mans way and just lets him pass. He enters the store and finds the cashier, a young lady, crying.

"Is everythi...

What do you call an acute triangle that is dangerous?

A bermute triangle!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Suzy sees her mother in bed with the mailman

Innocent but curious, she tells her father the very next day.

"Ok, Suzy" replies her father, "Our relatives are coming over for dinner later. I think you ought to tell them what you saw too."

At dinnertime, Suzy is waiting for everyone to sit down. As soon as Uncle Billy Bob takes his ...

Why was the triangle sent to hell?

Cos sin

What's it called when a triangle has multiple partners?

Polygony.

I was in a love triangle with my girlfriend and a tool. I told her she had to choose. Me or him.

She chose the ladder.

What kind of church does a triangle attend?

Anglican.

Q: Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?

A: They were right for each other

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don’t triangles have an SSA Congruence Theorem?

‘Cause that would be ass-backwards.

How do you climb a triangle?

By scalene it

What is the difference between Germany and the bermuda triangle?

The bermuda triangle has three points.

Gianna, a beautiful woman, was in the midst of a love triangle with two best friends, Nathan and Joel

Obviously this caused tension between the besties, and as such also troubled Gianna - she liked each one equally.

So on the 11th of February, she spoke to the two lovestruck rivals and challenged them.

"On Valentine's Day, each of you will get me a card - no gift, only a card. The one ...

A horse walks into a bar and says, “On a right-angled triangle with sides X, Y and Z, if X and Z are perpendicular, which side is opposite the right angle?”

The bartender says, “Y, long face.”

It's so sad I just realized Earth isn't a triangle shape!!

Well I guess there isn't any point in life anymore

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A patient goes to an psychologist.

"Let's see" says the doctor, "what comes to your mind when you see this?" and shows the patient a paper with a square drawn on it.
"Sex", replies the patient.
"And this?" the doctor shows the patient a circle.
"Sex!", replies the patient.
"What would you say if I showed you this?...

Everything you need to know about Australia

I REALLY hope these are true


These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for stupid questions!)


\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\...

Translated from german: What's red, triangular and flies over the lawn?

A red triangle.

What's black, triangular and flies over the lawn?

...

The shadow of the red triangle.

How do triangles commit suicide?

With a hypotenoose

Taking the side length that’s opposite of an angle in a right triangle is very much frowned upon.

It’s considered a sin.

Nobody in the world knows what those tiny sideways triangles on a keyboard mean.

Well, more or less.

What do you call a triangle that got OWNED?

A rectangle.

One day the triangle player of an orchestra gets very ill and goes to the hospital.

He spends the entire day practising despite his fever and all his constant sneezing and sniffling. The next day, he goes home to find his house surrounded by police cars.

He asks a police officer, "What happened?"

The officer replies, "Your conductor came by your house to talk to you ...

What do you call a triangle with four sides and a serious drinking problem?

A wrecked angle.

Today, in math class, we had to label triangles.

I would tell you the answers, but they're all classified now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Wife is missing.

Husband:

My wife is missing.

She went out yesterday and has not come home...



Sergeant at Police Station:

What is her height?



Husband:

Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.



Sergeant:

Weight?



Husb...

Why do math textbooks only ever give you one angle in a triangle?

Just cos.

You know what they say about cows in the Bermuda Triangle...

They moo in mysterious waves

Which body part hurts most when you get hit by a right-angled triangle?

Your sinuses.

What do you call a triangle that gets into an accident?

A Wreckedangle

Why isn’t Taylor Swift a pair of congruent triangles?

Because there’s no ASS

A quick knock knock joke

Me: Knock knock

Reddit: Who's there?

Me: Wu

Reddit: Wu, who?

Me: Woohoo, it's my blue triangle day!

I tried making a small triangle out of paper...

It looked more like a fortune cookie

That was unfortunate.

My trigonometry teacher and I got into a fight because she thinks triangles are the simplest polygon.

However, I think we can let digons be digons.

What did the triangle need to do before he could get a loan?

He needed somebody to cosine.

Donald Trump has been tested..

He managed to get the square into the square slot but struggled with the triangle and circle.

What did the triangle say to the preacher?

Forgive me father for I have sin().

A rabbi, a priest, and an imam were walking down a deserted road when they stumbled upon a pot filled with gold coins

After a few moments they all agreed that being men of God, they can't take all the gold for themselves. They have to give something back to God. The Priest said: i'm going to draw a square on the ground and throw the pot high in the air. Whatever fells inside the square is mine to take, whatever ...

ADHD Joke

Roses are red violets are blue ADHD be like Fire truck,triangle,circle,glue.

Why didn't the triangle go outside to get a tan?

Cos the sine said so!

How did the triangle know he had appendicitis?

He had an acute pain in his side!

Police officer to a driver: “OK, driver’s license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle.”

Driver: “Nah, I’ve already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain’s cap?"

If you build a triangle with sticks.

Would it be, twigernometry?

What kind of triangle jokes can never be made right?

Ones with an obtuse angle.

What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?

They both swallow a lot of seamen.


Ahh stupid jokes. They never get old.

What kind of animal lives in a triangle

Hippotenuse

How do you prove triangles congruent with attitude?

Do it with SAS.

What did one triangle say to the other triangle?

Hey, we should get together and square dance!

I’ve never understood the stereotype that Asian people are good at math,

so I decided to test it out.

I went up to at least 100 different people in China and asked them a couple of math questions

The first was “What is 109 squared?”. Around 68% of them answered correctly, which I was shocked about.

Then I asked “If 2 lengths of a triangle are 37 and ...

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