How would a triangle kill itself?

With the hypotenoose.

What would you call the Bermuda Triangle if it had four edges?

The Bermuda wreck tangle

What kind kind of triangle is a tortilla chip?

An i-salsa-les triangle

What do you call a triangle with angles 42.0°, 69° and 69°?

A Nice-osceles triangle.

What do you call a triangle that's had too much to drink?

A rekt angle

I used to play triangle in a reggae band.

I would stand at the back and ting.

An angel once visited me but only described the measurements of a triangle to me.

Its felt like a sine from God

I wanted to take ownership of a building shaped like a triangle.

But I couldn’t get anyone to cosine.

What did the triangle say to the circle?

**“You’re pointless.”**

A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...

... thanks for every ting.

Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?

So that it'll fit inside the box.

What do your room and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?

Things mysteriously disappear there.

Have you seen Cele’s triangles?

Well Isosceles Triangles

What did the triangle say to the square?

Nice quads bro.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three kingdoms border a lake in the shape of an obtuse triangle

One kingdom lies on each side of the lake. For decades, the king's had argued over it's true owner, each claiming to be the first kingdom to settle there, and many tales of magical swords and godly favours to claim divine right. Eventually, this storytelling and legal battling came to no conclusion,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?

They both swallow a lot of sea men.

Where did the square go after killing the triangle?

To prism.

My Son: (kindergarten at the time) Dad, what’s a square with a triangle on top of it?

Me: A house?

Son: No. It’s your mom’s house.

I'm really pleased that our band has just signed a Jamaican triangle player.

Now every little *ting* is gonna be all right!

A school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport

A school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, an ancient wooden device called a "slide-rule"  as well as a code device called an "abacus" that he claimed was a calculator....

Was happily watching the Bermuda philharmonic orchestra

When the guy on the triangle disappeared

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Psychiatrist

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist draws a circle and shows it to him.

"What's this?" asks the psychiatrist.

"A tit," says the guy.

The psychiatrist then draws a square.

"What's this?

"It's a tit," says the guy.

The psychiatrist then draws a tria...

I saw a right triangle resting under a tree.

I thought, "Wow, 90 degrees in the shade!"

What newspaper does a triangle read?

...the *hypotenews*

I would like to put on record my appreciation for the guys who play the triangle in orchestras.

Thanks for every ting.

A mysterious force drug a pirate ship closer to the Bermuda Triangle, alarming the captain.

The captain asked the lookout in the the crow's nest what he saw.

The lookout replied, "Captain, we be sailing tangent to stormy seas. It be a sine the secant be good."

The captain responded, "Aye, the sea put this here crew in a triggy situation."

My room is like the Bermuda triangle

stuff goes in and is never seen again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the trigonometrical ratio of a triangle go to jail?

Because cos B is a sexual offender.

What do a lost parrot and a triangle have in common

Polygon

What's J. K. Rowling's favourite side of a triangle?

The Harrypotenuse

My dad asked me why my math scores were weak. I told him that I found myself caught in a love triangle.

He looked concerned, sat down with me and said, "You know you can tell me anything right? What's really going on?"

I replied "I don't know how to explain this to you but the four of us are in love... "

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happened to the triangle after he saw porn for the first time?

He became erectangle

How to create your very own Bermuda triangle?

1. Surround yourself with relatives.
2. Submerge in their expectations. Watch all your hopes and dreams disappear!



PS:- Extra effective if you are Asian, especially Indian!

Edit : True Story.. I am an Indian and I approve this >\_<

I made six figures today...

a square, rectangle, triangle, circle, hexagon, and a polyhedron.

The bermuda triangle used to be known as the bermuda rectangle,

until one of the sides mysteriously vanished.

During my work presentation, I was asked why I struggle with shapes.

I said I would triangle back to that question later on.

I once worked with a very musically talented Jamaican who, after years of auditions for various instruments, got a gig in the local orchestra playing the triangle - not his first choice. One day he came in super stressed looking. I said "What's up? Can't handle the pressure of performing on stage?"

He says, "You have no idea mon, I be responsible for every ting."

Why was the triangle sent to hell?

Cos sin

Two triangles are having difficulty buying an apartment.

It turns out they needed to cosine.

How do triangles talk to each other?

Sine language

I was in a love triangle with my girlfriend and a tool. I told her she had to choose. Me or him.

She chose the ladder.

Q: Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?

A: They were right for each other

How do you climb a triangle?

By scalene it

I love bacon sandwiches cut into little triangles...

Strip clubs are awesome!

New study shows bodies found from the Bermuda Triangle all died from heat exhaustion...

...everyone knows its 180 degrees inside a triangle, I don't know why people even bother traveling through it.

What is the difference between Germany and the bermuda triangle?

The bermuda triangle has three points.

Police officer to a driver: “OK, driver’s license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle.”

Driver: “Nah, I’ve already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain’s cap?“

It's so sad I just realized Earth isn't a triangle shape!!

Well I guess there isn't any point in life anymore

What's it called when a triangle has multiple partners?

Polygony.

What kind of church does a triangle attend?

Anglican.

The circle and the triangle

So a triangle and a circle meet each other and the triangle says: "you're pointless."

To which the circle replies: "that's how I roll!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don’t triangles have an SSA Congruence Theorem?

‘Cause that would be ass-backwards.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A psychiatrist was testing a patient’s personality. He drew a circle on a paper.

And asked the patient, “What does this remind you of?”

The patient answered, “Sex.”

The shrink drew a square and asked again, “What does this remind you of?”

“Sex,” the patient replied.

Then the doctor drew a triangle.

“It reminds me of sex,” the patient stated. ...

A mummy calls a restauraunt.

- Hello, I would like to reserve a table for the pharaoh Sakhrakhotep I.
- Could you spell it out, please?
- Of course. Bird, two triangles, wavy line, the sun, bird agin, jackal's head and a scarab.

You know what they say about cows in the Bermuda Triangle...

They moo in mysterious waves

How do triangles commit suicide?

With a hypotenoose

Gianna, a beautiful woman, was in the midst of a love triangle with two best friends, Nathan and Joel

Obviously this caused tension between the besties, and as such also troubled Gianna - she liked each one equally.

So on the 11th of February, she spoke to the two lovestruck rivals and challenged them.

"On Valentine's Day, each of you will get me a card - no gift, only a card. The one ...

A horse walks into a bar and says, “On a right-angled triangle with sides X, Y and Z, if X and Z are perpendicular, which side is opposite the right angle?”

The bartender says, “Y, long face.”

What do you call a triangle that got OWNED?

A rectangle.

What do you call a triangle with four sides and a serious drinking problem?

A wrecked angle.

Why do math textbooks only ever give you one angle in a triangle?

Just cos.

Taking the side length that’s opposite of an angle in a right triangle is very much frowned upon.

It’s considered a sin.

Which body part hurts most when you get hit by a right-angled triangle?

Your sinuses.

Nobody in the world knows what those tiny sideways triangles on a keyboard mean.

Well, more or less.

One day the triangle player of an orchestra gets very ill and goes to the hospital.

He spends the entire day practising despite his fever and all his constant sneezing and sniffling. The next day, he goes home to find his house surrounded by police cars.

He asks a police officer, "What happened?"

The officer replies, "Your conductor came by your house to talk to you ...

Why isn’t Taylor Swift a pair of congruent triangles?

Because there’s no ASS

Today, in math class, we had to label triangles.

I would tell you the answers, but they're all classified now.

Once upon a time in a far away land...

There's a triangular lake, with three kingdoms on each side of the triangle.

The first kingdom is very rich, and the people are content. It has a very competent army, with a squire for every knight, and a total of twenty thousand knights. There is no hunger in the land.

The second kin...

What did the triangle need to do before he could get a loan?

He needed somebody to cosine.

My trigonometry teacher and I got into a fight because she thinks triangles are the simplest polygon.

However, I think we can let digons be digons.

I tried making a small triangle out of paper...

It looked more like a fortune cookie

That was unfortunate.

Everything you need to know about Australia

I REALLY hope these are true


These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for stupid questions!)


\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\...

What did the triangle say to the preacher?

Forgive me father for I have sin().

What kind of animal lives in a triangle

Hippotenuse

What do you call a triangle that gets into an accident?

A Wreckedangle

Why didn't the triangle go outside to get a tan?

Cos the sine said so!

How did the triangle know he had appendicitis?

He had an acute pain in his side!

What kind of triangle jokes can never be made right?

Ones with an obtuse angle.

If you build a triangle with sticks.

Would it be, twigernometry?

What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?

They both swallow a lot of seamen.


Ahh stupid jokes. They never get old.

What did one triangle say to the other triangle?

Hey, we should get together and square dance!

How do you prove triangles congruent with attitude?

Do it with SAS.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Suzy sees her mother in bed with the mailman

Innocent but curious, she tells her father the very next day.

"Ok, Suzy" replies her father, "Our relatives are coming over for dinner later. I think you ought to tell them what you saw too."

At dinnertime, Suzy is waiting for everyone to sit down. As soon as Uncle Billy Bob takes his ...

A rabbi, a priest, and an imam were walking down a deserted road when they stumbled upon a pot filled with gold coins

After a few moments they all agreed that being men of God, they can't take all the gold for themselves. They have to give something back to God. The Priest said: i'm going to draw a square on the ground and throw the pot high in the air. Whatever fells inside the square is mine to take, whatever ...

I’ve never understood the stereotype that Asian people are good at math,

so I decided to test it out.

I went up to at least 100 different people in China and asked them a couple of math questions

The first was “What is 109 squared?”. Around 68% of them answered correctly, which I was shocked about.

Then I asked “If 2 lengths of a triangle are 37 and ...

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