There were once four powerful witch covens: the witches of the mountains, the deserts, the forests, and the seas. For a thousand years they made war with one another, casting curses and hexes and bringing all manner of malady to the land in their hatred for one another. One day, they decided the onl...
A Priest dies and goes to heaven. As he's approaching the gates, he hears a band of singing and dancing angels approach, and he begins to get excited.
The lead angel approaches the Priest and asks if he would mind stepping aside for a moment.
Surprised, the Priest does as he's asked.
The angels march out of the gates and encircle a man who has also approached the gates. The man is in a bus driver uniform.
The joyous parade of ...
A lawyer gets pulled up for overspeeding in Chicago.
Lawyer: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Sir, you were overspeeding.
Lawyer: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see ur license please?
Lawyer: I would have given it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Lawyer: Lost it four years ago for drunk dr...
A tourist walks into a bar.
He asks for an Irishman named Seamus. The bartender points to an old man in the back, staring out the window and nursing a pint.
The tourist takes a seat next to Seamus. "Is it true, what they say about you?" He offers the old man a fresh pint.
Seamus smiles at the man, then curls back...
Fidel Castro, Vladimir Putin, and the Oort Cloud are riding on a train.
Fidel Castro pulls an expensive Cuban cigar out of his pocket, lights it, and then throws it out the window after only a few puffs. Vladimir Putin and the Oort Cloud are both surprised by this and ask "what are you doing, Fidel? That's an expensive cigar!" To which Castro responds, "in your country/...
The Mexican Magician
There once was a Mexican magician, his name was Juan. He was known throughout the country as Juan the Magician. Everyone was always amazed by his dazzling performances, and his shows always sold out. He was nearing the end of his career, and would retire the following summer after one last performan...