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Roundabout Jokes

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This is an old Finnish story

A few young guys were bored on a Saturday night and decided to go drive a roundabout. It was in the middle of the night, no other cars, so they decided to drive the roundabout in reverse. Suddenly, a car came from behind and rear-ended them.

The cops were called and both cars were waiting. Wh...

They put in a roundabout on my route to my parents' house.

It really threw me for a loop.

Note: tried this on my parents that night and went right over their heads.

For a long time, I’ve been trying to understand roundabouts.

It feels like I’m just going in circles.

I once saw a caveman wandering aimlessly in a roundabout manner.

I think it was a meanderthal.

What do British people do when there is a traffic jam at a roundabout?

They form a Q.

A man drives Home from a Firefighter-Party.

He is a bit loaded , so he drives very carefully to not get any Cops attention.

But its not enough and he runs into a Patrol.

Policeman:"And where do you come from?"

Man:"Im driving home from a Firefighter Party, yes im loaded and im sorry...."

The Policeman cuts him off:...

I was talking to a council worker the other day and I asked him "What's it like working for the council?

"Oh you know you have good days and bad days."

"Swings and roundabouts I suppose"

"Yeah sometimes we fill potholes as well."

I hate those traffic circle thingies when I'm not needing to turn.

It seems straight forward, but it's a really roundabout way of doing things.

Based on an urban myth: Two guys were smoking weed one late evening

Not being in the best state for great decisions, they figured they wanted to go for a ride to pick up some food. However, as they came to the first roundabout one guy said, let's go for an extra round. Sure, said the other and off they went.

"You know what would be even better?"

"Wh...

I just lost my job manufacturing children’s playground aparatus

This industry is all swings and roundabouts

Two Irish friends leave the pub.

Two Irish friends leave the pub.

One says to other, 'I can't be bothered to walk all the way home'. 'I know, me too but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last bus home.

We could steal a bus from the depot' replies his mate.

They arrive at the bus depot and one goe...

Why did the road cross the road?

Because civil engineers & urban planners don't like roundabouts!

I took a detour on the way home yesterday. Took me through 8 traffic circles,

but it got me where I was going, in a roundabout way.

My wife and I couldn't figure out the British term for a traffic circle.

We got the finally found the roundabout answer from researching about it in the library.

In an attempt to reduce congestion, my local council removed traffic lights at all crossroads...

bit of a roundabout way of doing things, don't you think?

I can prove the Earth is flat

But people always tell me my arguments keep doing roundabouts

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A drunk man driving is stopped by a police control

The drunk man says, "officer take this but don't take my car " and hands the police officer 100 dollars

After some minutes again the same guy finds another police control, same thing again 100 bucks and he lets him go

2 minutes driving and again police control, 100 bucks and good to go...

There are 9 circles of Hell.

And if you think that's bad, there are 130 roundabouts of Milton Keynes.

There are two kinds of Asians...

The kind you see drifting in Tokyo Drift, and the other you see drifting around roundabouts.

the stutterer

So a guy with a stutter wants to ask his girlfriend to marry him. However, every time he tries, he gets nervous and stutters so badly he can barely get a word out. So he goes to a friend at work and asks for advice.

The friend says, "Here's what you do. Instead of coming right out and asking ...

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A police officer is returning home drunk..

A police officer returns home drunk in his car from a colleague's house. He is driving safely, until suddenly a patrol on the side of the road motions him to stop by for a check. He quickly draws out his badge, confident that his colleagues will believe it and says: ''Don't worry colleagues, I've dr...

Drivers be aware

Drivers be aware. The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the A421, near the Northampton roundabout recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One Marine (long)

Out in the middle of the Afghan desert, a whole camp of Taliban soldiers doing whatever Talibans do on their slow days.

Suddenly, the company commander hears this voice yell out "one Marine is better than one-hunert Talibans!". It seems to be coming from behind a rock formation off in the dis...

Paddy’s Suggestion

Paddy and Mick are blind drunk and going home from a night out and realize that they don’t have enough money for a taxi so they decide to go to the Bus Depot and steal a bus. … Mick breaks into the depot as Paddy stands as a lookout. …

After a while, Paddy decides to see what is keeping Mi...

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