Why is Ed Sheeran’s favourite math unit parabolas?

Because he’s in love with the shape of U.

What do you feed a baby parabola?

Quadratic Formula

Why are negative parabolas so introverted?

They have a hard time opening up

One day Jesus was delivering a sermon to his flock. "The path to the Lord lies at y=x2−4x+2". A passer-by leans over to Peter and whispers "what's he banging on about?"

Peter replies "don't worry, it's just one of his parabolas"

The sermon on the mount

Jesus: "Verily, I tell you: x²+5x+10."

Mark: "Huh? What's the boss talking about?"

John: "Never mind, he's just mixing up parable and parabola again."

Jesus said unto his disciples

"Truthfully I speak when I say unto thou: y = x^2"

The disciples listened, conferred a bit between themselves, and Peter raises his head and says: "Lord, we don't understand"

"It's a parabola, you idiots"

You're in math class learning about quadratics.

You: The y-intercept is (8,0) right?

Student 2: Parabobly.

Jesus tells this parable...

of a man whose farm yielded a very poor crop. Sad with the effect this had on him his family he prayed to God every night asking for a better crop.
The following season his farm yielded fourfold his previous amount! He could not believe this miracle and continued to pray to god every night to th...

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