What do you get when you divide a pumpkin's circumference by it's diameter?

Pumpkin pi!

A Spanish greengrocer is 1.74 meters tall, has a waist circumference of 105 centimeters, and wears a size of 44. What does he weigh?

Vegetables

My maths teacher didn't teach us circumference.

She said it was point-less

what do you call a medieval french man covered in sperm

circumference

How do you find the circumference of a sheep?

Use shepherds pi

39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom

Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though

What's the ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter?

Eskimo pi.

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Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife

Very Long Read:

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversa...

What's the formula for octopus circumference?

octopi*r2


Of course it should really be octopods*r2

Ball volume

A mathematician, scientist, & engineer were tasked with finding the volume of a ball



The mathematician derived it using a formula given the circumference



The scientist measured the displaced volume when submerged in water

The engineer found the model # ...

Who is the roundest knight in King Arthur's court?

Circumference

So a circumference walks into a restaurant...

...sits down and orders a bowl of diameter ice cream. The waiter asks, "You want pie with that?"

5 Jokes About Pi

1. Divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter and what do you get?
Pumpkin Pi

2. I saw a movie and gave it a 3.1415 out of 5.
It was Life of Pi

3. My friend decided to get a tattoo of the symbol pi on his face.
It was an irrational decision

4. Who was the r...

A woman is sitting beside a businessman on an airplane...

The businessman is quite bored, so he tries to get the woman to play a game with him. "Let's play a game. We take turns asking questions. If I can't answer one of yours, I'll pay you 5 bucks, but if you can't answer one of mine, then you'll give me 5 bucks."

The woman ignores him and tries to...

A man walked into a warehouse looking for a hula hoop.

Once he found one of size, he measured it. A nice length it was! The width of the hoop was 1 meter.

The man began to hack away at the hoop, when suddenly, a voice emerged!

"Please don't cut me! I was created with a circumference of 3.14 meters!"

The man chuckled, and continued t...

A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician are given the task to contain the largest amount of area with a limited amount of fence.

The physicist designs a square fence, showing that a square contains the most area.

The Engineer then designs a circular fence, showing that the area to circumference ratio is better than a square.

The mathematician think for a moment, then starts building a tiny fence around himself. ...

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New weights and measures

1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with Go...

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The Golden State Warriors flew to Jamaica to play an exhibition game against a local team.

The Warriors kept on losing the ball and missing easy shots. Kerr, the Warriors' coach was furious, but the players said that the balls were too small, and kept slipping out of their hands.



By the end of the half, they were down by 20 points, with Steph Curry, the Warriors' captain...

You have a pumpkin.

You measure around it. All the way around.

Then you cut the pumpkin in half so the top is separate from the bottom.

Measure across the cut pumpkin.

Divide the circumference by the diameter.

What do you have now?

Pumpkin Pi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three scientific studies about the penis

There were three scientific studies conducted to determine why the head of the penis has a greater circumference than the shaft.

The first study spent $10 thousand and determined that it was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

The second study spent $100 thousand and dete...

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First "Contact"

In the years that followed first contact between humanity and an alien race, individuals from both species took steps to integrate their two cultures. At one of several social conventions held to further this goal, a human couple and an alien couple meet and discuss their common traits. They eventua...

I don't know.

Jane and Mary are eating lunch together when, out of the blue, Jane asks what the circumference of the Earth is.
Mary shrugs and says, "No sé."
Jane gives her a funny look and asks, "What does that mean?" to which Mary replies "I don't know."
Jane, flabbergasted, says, "Don't say it if y...

A man was watching a baker make pies...

After the baker rolled out the pastry, lined the pie plate, put in the filling he put on the top layer of pastry & carefully trimmed off the excess pastry. The baker then removed his upper dentures & proceeded to use them to tamp down the pastry around the circumference of the pie plate afte...

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