Circle Of Life Jokes

Because it's fucking pointless

Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn’t hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It’s Irv. ‘So there is an afterlife! What’s it like?’... read more

Two cowboys, Bill and Joe, are riding their horses through the prairie. Joe says "Bill, what happens when we die?" Bill says "Well Joe, do you know about the circle of life?" "I recon I don't" says Joe. "Let me tell you." Says bill. "So say an Indian rides by right now and shoots an arrow through yo... read more

A dentist, doing his first extraction on a patient, was understandably nervous.

When he got the molar out, his hand shook, he lost his grip on the instrument, and the tooth dropped down into the patient's throat.

"Sorry," said the doctor. "You're outside my specialty now. You should se... read more

You know, in one room there's a father holding his son for the first time, in another room there's a son holding his father for the last time. And then in another room there is a guy with a remote stuck in his anus. It's the circle of life.

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm go... read more