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Choosing Jokes

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.

Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:

1. A Bi...

Everyone in the US is choosing sides right now

I choose inside.

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Choosing a Secretary

A businessman decides that it is time to hire a new secretary and has it narrowed down to a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. Unable to choose between the three of them, he decides to conduct an experiment. At the end of the day he places a five dollar bill on the ground in his office to see how ea...

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Choosing a new password

Choosing a new password:

potato


Sorry, password must contain at least 8 letters.

boiled potato


Sorry, password must contain at least one number.


1 boiled potato


Sorry, password cannot contain spaces


50fuckingboiledpotatoes...

r/conservative is furious that their voices are being censored and that people are picking and choosing who can be heard

"This thread is for conservatives only"

I asked my girlfriend if looks and money were important to her when choosing a boyfriend...

she said "Clearly not."

:-(

Choosing what happens in reincarnation

Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep.
All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed.
"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?......and who are you?" he asked.
"This is not your bedroom,"...

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For my cake day, I want to share a joke my friend told me

When I was born, god gave me the option between choosing the ability to finish stories, or having a big dick.

Obviously, I chose

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I've made up my mind. I'm choosing a career path as an electrician.

I just found out they get to work with dikes and strippers.

Choosing the right synonym is so important.

It's the difference between "Father, I have sinned" and "Daddy, I've been naughty".

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Choosing a Bride . . .

A man wanted to get married, but he was having trouble choosing among the three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and wanted to see what they would do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; bu...

The Australian Armed Forces recently declassified documents detailing their rationale for choosing the Steyr AUG as the Army’s assault rifle.

“Buy local.”

When it comes to choosing between weight lifting or cardio workouts, I always choose cardio.

Cause it helps me in the long run ;)

Choosing a suitable name

A boy is born of multiple heritages. He is of Irish Indian Chinese and Italian descent.

His parents had a hard time choosing a name, but they eventually settled for something suitable.

They called him - Ravi O'Lee.

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For many, figuring out who to give the free Reddit award will be similar to choosing who to lose your virginity to.

For some: it’s not a big deal, you’ll have fun with it, and it’ll be whoever you see in the moment.

For others: you’ll overthink it and fumble deciding. Soon the moment will pass and you’ll be a virgin forever.

Brexit was similar to choosing your favorite Jane Austen novel.

Pride and Prejudice defeated Sense and Sensibility.

When choosing a new password....

I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

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Back when Pope John Paul II died, the Vatican College of Cardinals were faced with the responsibility of choosing a new pope for the Catholic Church...

... At first, they favored a British Cardinal by the name of Cardinal Nigel Mason.

Card. Mason had been a pilot in WWII, fighting Germany's Luftwaffe. He was decorated for his service, during which he shot down 12 Nazi fighter planes.

He himself was finally shot down and made a rough l...

Choosing pencils is impossible for me, I'm always confused with the amount of blackness I need.

2B or not 2B, that is the question.

Linkin Park fought among themselves in choosing which ocean to take a cruise on.

The Pacific ocean was favored by Chester. The Atlantic was desired by Mike. The Arctic was appealing to Rob and Brad because it is an ocean they've never been to before. The Antarctic was chosen by Dave and Joe because they've heard tales of great sea creatures to see in that area. With great argume...

What did Darth Vader say when he saw his old droid choosing Luke over him?

"E tu, D2?"

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A city guy decides to pursue his dream to be a lumberjack

So he moves to a remote logging town in the northern woods. It's just 40 men in this little community, hundreds of miles from the nearest town of any size, and he wonders how they manage their "loneliness," if you know what I mean.

One evening in the spring, after the day's work has ended, a ...

How does Santa choose which female reindeer to breed with his prized stud?

By choosing the one that’s the best bang for the buck.

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