When it comes to choosing between weight lifting or cardio workouts, I always choose cardio.

Cause it helps me in the long run ;)

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I went to my local all you can eat buffet...

and there was this girl only choosing vegetables?


I thought, I’ve never seen herbivore.

An Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman...

An English, Scottish & Irish soldier are caught fighting as mercenaries in a foreign land.


As prisoners of war, the General sentences each to 12 months of solitary confinement, but to show he is fair, he will give them each a years supply of a luxury item of their choosing.

...

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A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.
...

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Millionaire marriage proposal

A bachelor Chinese millionaire is on a business trip in Los Angeles. He has had very bad luck finding the perfect bride in China and had given up hope of getting married. During his business presentation, he sees the perfect bride for him -- she is an intelligent, tall, slender single brunette wit...

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My dog named sex

Folks generally aren't very creative in choosing names for their dogs.

That's why there are so many named Rover and Spot.

But, have you heard the plight of the bloke who thought he'd be cute and named his dog Sex?

It goes like this:

"One day Sex and I took a walk and he...

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Choosing a new password: potato

Choosing a new password: potato

\-Sorry, password must contain at least 8 letters.

boiled potato

\-Sorry, password must contain at least one number.

1 boiled potato

\-Sorry, password cannot contain spaces

50fuckingboiledpotatoes

\-Sorry...

Choosing the right synonym is so important.

It's the difference between "Father, I have sinned" and "Daddy, I've been naughty".

Choosing pencils is impossible for me, I'm always confused with the amount of blackness I need.

2B or not 2B, that is the question.

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A blonde woman wants to prove she is smart.

So she dyes her hair brunette and goes out for a challenge.
She finds a shepherd with a big herd,
and asks him if she can guess the number of sheep in the first try and if she guesses right she could keep one of the sheep.
The shepherd agrees. After a good look at the herd she thinks and te...

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So a Bartender, a Priest, and an Anti-Lockdown protester walk into a bar... [LONG]

Ok, not a bar, because the bars are all closed. But I digress. So they walk into... I dunno, Wal-Mart, Whatever. Turns out all three know each other and start talking about the lockdown and how it has been affecting them.

The Bartender started by lamenting the loss of their income and social ...

Choosing what happens in reincarnation

Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep.
All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed.
"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?......and who are you?" he asked.
"This is not your bedroom,"...

If you truly believe that "Colour Doesn't Matter"

try arguing with your wife when choosing wallpaper.

What did Darth Vader say when he saw his old droid choosing Luke over him?

"E tu, D2?"

It's that time of the year when many Americans go around in public pretending to be something they're not, with many choosing to appear as monsters and ghouls.

But enough about the elections, it's also Halloween.

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