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Child Molester Jokes

What do a silver medalist and a child molester have in common?

They both came in a little behind

Police officer pulls over 2 Catholic priests. Says he’s looking for two child molesters.

Catholic priests looking at each other: We’ll do it!

what do you call someone who molests child molesters?

An apex predator

What's the difference between acne and a child molester?

Acne waits till you are 13 to come on your face.

Did you hear about child molester who plays the piano?

He was fingering a minor

Child molesters

Two priests are out driving one day, when they get pulled over by a police officer.
The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver, " Sorry to pull you over father, but we're currently searching for two child molesters."
The two priests turn and look at each other for a fe...

What kind of shoes does a child molester wear?

White vans.

What do you call an illegal immigrant vs. a child molester?

Alien vs. Predator.

A kid and child molester are walking in the woods

A kid and a child molester are walking in the woods. As the sun is going down and it gets darker, the kod says, "It's getting kinda scary mister." He tells the kid, "I know. I'm the one that's gotta walk back alone."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A homophobe, a child molester, and a con man walk into a bar

The bartender says "What will it be, Father?"

What is the one good thing about child molesters?

They drive slowly in the school zones!

Statistics show that one out of three of your next door neighbors could be a child molester...

Thank goodness the only neighbors I have are smokin' hot ten year olds.

Three guys walk into a bar: an alcoholic, a priest, and a child molester...

And that's just the first guy.

What is the default format for child molesters?

.PDF Files.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a child molester with a lot of cheese?

A pedophile with a feta pile

Where do child molesters go to university?

Bring'em Young

A new experimental punishment for child molesters involves chaining them to electricity-producing machines and having them work 24/7

Researcers hope to be able to generate multiple pedowatts of power.

I heard there's a new movie coming out where an illegal immigrant turns vigilante and battles a child molester...

They're calling it Alien vs Predator.

What did the Jewish child molester say to the kid?

Hey kid, do you want to buy some candy?

When I was a kid the police came to the church to ask if anyone knew any child molesters.

The priests fingered me.

where does a Finnish child molester go when his ship sinks?

Helsinki

Funny that when a guy sleeps with tons of girls he's a stud..

But when I sleep with tons of girls I'm somehow a child molester

So there's a child molester and a little boy walking into the woods...

They keep walking deeper and deeper, and its getting darker and darker; scarier and scarier. Further and further they walk. The boy looks up at the child molester and says "Gee Mister, I'm getting scared." and the child molester looks down at the kid and says: "You think you're scared kid, I gotta ...

A policeman pulled over two priests in a blue SUV for speeding

When the officer was writing them a ticket, his radio buzzed, "We are looking for two child molesters in a blue SUV. I repeat, we are looking for two child molesters, in a blue SUV."

The priests locked eyes for 10 seconds until one finally piped up, "We'll do it."

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

Two priests drive around at night.

Going through a wooded area, they are stopped by the police. Seeing he just has stopped two men of the cloth, the officer mutters: "Excuse me, but we are looking for a child molester..." The priests stick their heads together, and after a short whispered discussion, exclaim: "OK, we'll do it!"

God asked St Peter why he let the last three men into heaven....

God says: "Why did you let the priest who stole from the church in?"

Saint Peter says: "The priest showed letters from the congregation documenting how he spent his last 30 years not only paying back triple what he took, but serving the church for no compensation. He has repented."

The...

A priest is walking through the woods at night

He is stopped by a policeman. The priest asks, "What seems to be the problem, officer?" The policeman replies, "A Boy Scout was abducted in the area, and we are looking for a potential child molester." The priest thinks for a second, and says, "I'll do it."

I always hate when I move to a new neighborhood because I'm forced to meet all my new neighbors and I'm terrible with first impressions. Ive never had anyone talk to me again after the first time.

All I ever say is, "Hi. My name is Eric Smith and I'm a registered child molester."

Two men are driving down the road....

A police officer pulls them over and approaches the car. He knocks on the window and they roll it down.

The officer says "excuse me gentlemen we are looking for two child molesters in the area."

The driver rolls the window up for a moment and converses with his passenger. After a mome...

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven was a registered child molester.

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