UPJOKE
crimefirebugincendiaryfiregasolineburglarpropertyfelonyhoaxerescapeekeroseneassassinmurdererpsychopathintruder

Arsonist Jokes

I joined a dating sight for arsonist’s…

They sent me a lot of matches.

I've just joined a dating group for arsonists.

It's great, they send me new matches every day.

How do two arsonists hook up?

A Match on Tinder.

Why are arsonists fun people to be around

They light up the room every time they enter

What do you call a Stoner Arsonist?

A Highlighter.

The Arsonists Anonymous meeting went great last night

They got along like a house on fire.

An arsonist lights an economist's house on fire.

When the economist arrives home, he turns on the garden hose in his front yard and sprays a huge blast of water on the fire. This completely puts out the fire, but now a section of the house is covered in water.

The next day, the arsonist lights a chemist's house on fire.

When the chem...

A Cannibal and an Arsonist open up a restaurant together.

They call it Hot Singles Near You.

You shouldn’t have an arsonist play sports.

I hear they’re always throwing matches.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A zoophile, a masochist and an arsonist get together

They're all bored out of their minds in their little apartment when a cat appears on the window.

The zoophile looks at it lustfully and says "I'm gonna hit that cat senseless and fuck it"

The arsonist gets excited and shouts "hell yeah!! And when you're done I can stick a firework up i...

What’s an arsonists favourite malaphor

“We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it”

I was friends with an arsonist one, it was terrible

They were always gaslighting me

What's a good way to tell if someone is an arsonist?

They don't blow out the candles on their birthday cake.

What do arsonists and electricity have in common?

They both light up buildings

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a Jewish Arsonist's weapon of choice?

A Mazel Tov Cocktail

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sadist, a rapist, a murderer, an arsonist, a necrophile and a masochist see a cat in the street

The sadist proclaims loudly, "I want to torture that cat."

Not to be easily outdone, the rapist says, "I want to torture that cat and then fuck it."

Following suit, the murderer says "I want to torture the cat, fuck it and then kill it."

The arsonist says, "I wanna torture the c...

Why did the arsonist quit starting fires?

He got burned out.

Why did the arsonist joined tinder?

To see if he could get a match.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a sadist, a zoophile, a murderer, a necrophiliac, an arsonist and a masochist all sitting around a table in a mental institution.

Suddenly the sadist says, let's torture a cat. Then the zoophile says yeah let's torture a cat and then have sex with it. Then the murderer says, let's torture a cat, have sex with it and then kill it. The necrophiliac follows up with, let's torture a cat, have sex with it, kill it and then have sex...

An arsonist is hired to burn down a slaughterhouse...

The job was well done.

Why did the arsonist go to the gym?

To burn some calories.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sadist, masochist, arsonist and a murderer are sitting in a park next to each other.

A cat walks by and the murderer's instincts kick in:

"Lets kill the fucking cat!"

The sadist immediately disagrees:

"No lets torture it and THEN kill it!"

Arsonist chimes in:

"No! Come on you guys, lets torture it burn all its fur and THEN kill it!"

The maso...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a arsonist and a bartender have in common?

For special occasions, their cocktails are on the house.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bestiality enthusiast, an arson, a sadist, a necrophile, and a masochist are right outside a psych ward when a cat passes by.

The beastialty enthusiast says "let's fuck the cat," the arsonist says, "let's fuck the cat, then burn it," the sadist says, "let's fuck the cat, burn the cat, then kill it," then the necrophile says, "let's fuck the cat, burn the cat, kill the cat, then fuck it again," and finally the masochist say...

I'm watching the horrific pictures of the US Wild Fires in Bel-Air.

They believe it was started by an Arsonist.

They are dusting for fresh prints.
.
.
.
.
Too soon???????

I grew up thinking my dad was a fireman

Then I realised he was just an arsonist

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.