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What should you reply when a bully asks you ''Why are you so fat?''

''Everytime i fuck your mom she gives me a cookie.''

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Bully: I bet your dick is a size of a tic tac

The quiet kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good

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A high school bully sees an old victim at their reunion,

Bully: Hey virgin!

Victim: Im not a virgin, just ask your sister.

Bully: I dont have a sister, dumbass.

Victim: Just wait nine months.

I got one of them anti bullying bracelets today

Nicked it off some fat ginger prick at the park

Years ago, I viciously beat up my high school bully with a baseball bat. Both of his arms were broken.

Come to think of it, that's probably why I felt brave enough to beat him up.

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My son got suspended for defending himself against a bully

So I went to the school to see why that happened...

“It’s against our policy to hit other students.” Says the principal.

“So you’re telling me that anyone in your school who feels threaten in a situation shouldn’t even fight back?” I say

“Yes”

So I did what any rational ...

I was bullying and kicking this pregnant lady for quite some time

It was soooo awkward when she birthed me lol

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High School Bully

The guy who picked on me all through high school and then became a millionaire just placed a delivery order at KFC.

Now I get the last laugh. I gave him original recipe and he ordered extra crispy. Checkmate Justin, you fucking loser

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Jebediah the shepherd wanted to make a statement about bullying and stood up at the town meeting.

"Friends, there is a cruel and unfair practice that is infiltrating our community. You may not have noticed, but it is here and it is doing grave damage to my sense of well being and comfort in our beautiful village.

Perhaps Englebert has noticed? The man who bakes our bread every day, who f...

What do you call a vegetable that always bully you?

A BEATroot

Height bullying is no joke.

Seriously guys, we need to stop looking down on short people.

My high school bully still takes my lunch money.

But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!

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A bully called me pussy

I replied i am what I eat. You Dick

I didn’t attend the funeral of my high-school bully

But I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

I've never understood the concept of bullying

Why are YOU mad that I'M ugly?

An apple a day keeps the bully away

If you throw hard enough

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A schoolyard bully is picking on a nerd and says, "Hey, loser, see that guy over there? He told me your mother fucked a donkey, and you're the result!"

The nerd gets upset and says, "Ignore him! Hee-haw, hee-haw, hehaways says that."

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Bully in HS

High School Principal calls for the father to come to school one morning and he doesn't quite understands what would be the reason...

Getting there, he starts complaining with the receptionist about why he was called to go there.

Dad: Lady, I don't know why the principal called me here...

After years of getting yelled at and doing his work, i finally stood up to my bully...

He fired me.

There was once a truck driver eating at a diner.

He was enjoying his meal, when a gang of bikers walked in. They started bullying him, by dumping salt and pepper all over him, spitting in his coffee, and stealing his food. To their surprise, the truck driver did nothing, but pay the bill, and walk out of the diner.

As they are marveling abo...

"STOP HITTING YOURSELF, STOP HITTING YOURSELF" the bully chanted

But I could not, for he popped off my prosthetics

What is a bully’s favorite kind of joke?

One with a punchline.

Don't believe what your school bully tells you.

Always take it with a grain of assault.

A victim of bullying on death row

There was once a man who was bullied for looking sort of like a clown, with pale skin and a red nose. After years of being bullied by classmates and coworkers alike, he snaps and commits a homicide in the office he worked at.

For the murders of several people, he gets put on death row.
Aft...

I used to bully someone in a wheelchair.

He didn't stand up for himself.

Kid asks his mum if he should bully Hispanics

his mum says no Juan deserves it

The only way to stop a bully is to stand up to them.

Trust me, I have bullied a *lot* of people.

I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out.

I say bought, I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.

Why is it wrong to bully people in wheel chair?

Because they can't stand up for themselves.

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A guy named John Hitler was tired of people bullying him for his name so he went to the federal court and changed it hoping the harassments would stop.

But Peter Hitler is still getting bullied to this day.

If online bullying has taught us anything.

It's that some kids would rather kill themselves than lose a bit of weight.

Why are cripples so easy to bully?

They can’t stand up for them selves.

I've been bullying this kid

Good thing hes an orphan. Who's he gonna tell, his parents?

What did the banana say to the banana bully?

You hurt my peelings

I finally plucked up enough courage to beat up the school bully.

It was a different school, and 15 years later,
but damn it felt good

Why can you bully orphans?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

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A man with a wooden eye watches people at the dance...

After always being the butt of jokes or bullying, he was scared to ask any girl to dance with him. He always had a fancy for Betsy, who was born with a hairlip. He always figured since they shared a similar fate, she might sympathize with him. He finally mustered up enough courage and asked Betsy, "...

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A bully at school told me my clothes were gay

So a choked that asshole with my "Pale Heather Cashmere Scarf".

My youngest kid and I like to bully the big one.

That's what we call my wife.

we shouldn't bully flat Earthers or anti Vaxxers

just because they have brain damage doesn't mean we get to make fun of them

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Today i saw a kid getting beaten up at school by 4 bullys so i decided to take a step

This fucker got no chance versus 5 of us

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Bullying

\- I am here at the school because my daughter is being bullied.

\- Who is your daughter?

\- That chubby one that looks like a capybara, seating in the back of the class.

The bully loomed threateningly over the nerd and said, "You know what snitches get don't you?"

Ummm, "150 points?"

A woman on a farm is getting breakfast ready for her family.

As she works at the counter, she notices her son out in the yard bullying several of the animals. When he comes in for breakfast she sets a bowl if dry cereal and a glass of water in front of him.

"What gives mom?"

"Well son, I watched you picking on the animals, so I'm punishing you a...

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A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down.

He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.
The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears i...

Why should you never bully a fifth grader gypsy?

Because his father is in the eleventh grade.

Bullying

As I was walking home from school, I saw a kid getting bullied by three other kids, so I decided to help. I knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against the four of us.

I met this little boy today who told me he is starting at a new school tomorrow and was afraid that the other kids would bully him.

I told him, "Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize. Why would anyone pick on you?"

I ran into my high school bully yesterday

Unfortunately he was wearing his seatbelt

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My friends and I get bullied a lot

I was at school, going to the lunchroom with my friends- James (he has Parkinson's Disease), Alex (he's mute), Megan (she's completely blind in both eyes), Abby (she has asthma) and Hayley (she's albino). I myself am paralyzed from the waist down and so I need to use a wheelchair. Since my friends a...

What do you call an average math bully?

Mean.

My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will bully him because of his name...

I said, "Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize, why would anyone pick on you?"

All these people are so quick to criticize Melania Trump for wanting to take on cyber bullying when that's something her husband has a problem with

But no one criticized Laura Bush for wanting to teach kids how to read

What does a bully say to SpaceX?

Gimme your launch money!

Govt. Statistics show that 35% of all school kids fall victim to online bullying and this can only mean 1 thing

65% of my emails aren't going out

I remember when I finally knocked out the school bully. I thought I'd be an instant hero, but apparently...

...it's 'appalling behavior' for a parent.

Met my school bully 10 years after I last saw him. He still takes my money today.

But on the other hand, he certainly knows how to make a decent sandwich.

What do you get when you cross a lab monkey and a bully?

I don’t know, but it’s about to beat you up after Rhesus..

Disclaimer: Took this one from r/adviceanimals

I was bullied...

When I was a little kid this other kid in a wheelchair used to bully me but I couldn't do anything about it because I felt bad making fun of him. So for the rest of my life people knew me as the guy who "couldn't stand up for himself" and I think that's ironic considering it all.

Everyone thinks Goliath was this big, tough, Jew-bully.

But really, he was a Gentile giant.

My ex-best friend used to be really nice to me, but ever since they found out I have flat feet, they've been mean to me and bullying me over it.

They're my arch-enemy now.

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A boy named Steve was being bullied by a boy named Billy.

Billy's parents were vegan, and one day Billy's father had a stroke out of nowhere, despite his healthy lifestyle.

Ever since Billy's dad was hospitalized after the stroke, Billy became very more and more aggressive to the point where he would bully Steve and hurl insults at him daily for no ...

When I was younger a bully used to take my money...

He still does, but now he asks if I want fries with my order.

When people start bullying me about my weight, I cut myself.....

another piece of cake

Why does Earth bully other planets?

Because they have no life.

A bully and his gang walk into a Subway store

He then sees the sandwich artist (that's what they are called) is a skinny, young, inexperienced kid- a perfect target to bully while ordering some subs. He walks up to the kid and starts his order of his 6-inch sub

The kid then proceeds to cut a footlong sub bread in half for a 6-inch sub wh...

Mom the mean kids at school are bullying me, they are calling me hairy.

Mom: MARIO THE DOG IS TALKING AGAIN

I told my bully he was just a child having an existential crisis.

He said “I know you are, but what am I?”

It wasn't when the bully called me a big fat doughboy that hurt as much as the punch in my stomach.

It left a big impression.

What did the blonde say when the classroom bully stole her pencil?

I LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN WRITE NOW

A girl from a strict family.

There was a girl from a very strict family. Her father absolutely hated fruits and no one in the family was allowed to eat them. As far as the girl knew her Uncle had died from choking on an apple which is why they were banned.

All through her school years she longed to taste any fruit, s...

Did you hear about that masochistic bully?

He was just begging to get punched

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