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Bully Jokes

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A high school bully sees an old victim at their reunion,

Bully: Hey virgin!

Victim: Im not a virgin, just ask your sister.

Bully: I dont have a sister, dumbass.

Victim: Just wait nine months.

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Bully: I bet your dick is a size of a tic tac

The quiet kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good

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What should you reply when a bully asks you ''Why are you so fat?

Everytime i fuck your mom she gives me a cookie.

An apple a day keeps the bully away

If you throw hard enough
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If online bullying has taught us anything.

It's that some kids would rather kill themselves than lose a bit of weight.
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Why is it wrong to bully people in wheel chair?

Because they can't stand up for themselves.
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Height bullying is no joke.

Seriously guys, we need to stop looking down on short people.
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I didn’t attend the funeral of my high-school bully

But I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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I got one of them anti bullying bracelets today

Nicked it off some fat ginger prick at the park
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My bully got hit by a car

Some people call it a tragedy, I call it getting your moneys worth
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A bully called me pussy

I replied i am what I eat. You Dick

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Bully in HS

High School Principal calls for the father to come to school one morning and he doesn't quite understands what would be the reason...

Getting there, he starts complaining with the receptionist about why he was called to go there.

Dad: Lady, I don't know why the principal called me here...

A victim of bullying on death row

There was once a man who was bullied for looking sort of like a clown, with pale skin and a red nose. After years of being bullied by classmates and coworkers alike, he snaps and commits a homicide in the office he worked at.

For the murders of several people, he gets put on death row.
Aft...
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High School Bully

The guy who picked on me all through high school and then became a millionaire just placed a delivery order at KFC.

Now I get the last laugh. I gave him original recipe and he ordered extra crispy. Checkmate Justin, you fucking loser

Years ago, I viciously beat up my high school bully with a baseball bat. Both of his arms were broken.

Come to think of it, that's probably why I felt brave enough to beat him up.
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What type of shoes does a bully hate?

A goody two shoes.
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Kid asks his mum if he should bully Hispanics

his mum says no Juan deserves it
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I finally plucked up enough courage to beat up the school bully.

It was a different school, and 15 years later,
but damn it felt good
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To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.

On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
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My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will bully him because of his name...

I said, "Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize, why would anyone pick on you?"
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All these people are so quick to criticize Melania Trump for wanting to take on cyber bullying when that's something her husband has a problem with

But no one criticized Laura Bush for wanting to teach kids how to read
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Seen on X. Credit to @614clinton

An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive sports car.

Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man.

"Look what you did to my car" he yells.
"You're going to give me $10,000 right now or I'm going to beat you to a pulp!"

"Oh my" says the old man, "I don't hav...

The school bully asked me if I wanted to pick a fight with him

So I showed up to his house later that day and picked the Conor McGregor vs. Khatib fight and we watched it all afternoon
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Why does Earth bully other planets?

Because they have no life.
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Bullying

\- I am here at the school because my daughter is being bullied.

\- Who is your daughter?

\- That chubby one that looks like a capybara, seating in the back of the class.

What is a bully’s favorite kind of joke?

One with a punchline.
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Bully

Son: Dad a guy at school keeps calling me gay.
Dad: Punch him in the throat son...
Son: But dad, he is so cute.

I've been bullying this kid

Good thing hes an orphan. Who's he gonna tell, his parents?
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A bully walks into a bar

He walks to a man whose eyes are on the ground and grabs away his drink. He gulps it loudly and after it is finished he let out a disgusting belch. Then he asks in a woeful tone: "what happens, granpa?".

The man lifts his eyes and sighs: "yesterday I got fired from my job and when I returned...
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What did Sigmund Freud say to his high school bully?

"Yo mama so ugly, even your own subconscious don't like her"
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"STOP HITTING YOURSELF, STOP HITTING YOURSELF" the bully chanted

But I could not, for he popped off my prosthetics
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At school one day, a bully told me I had a face only a mother could love.

I went home and found out I was adopted.
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What did the banana say to the banana bully?

You hurt my peelings
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I was bullied...

When I was a little kid this other kid in a wheelchair used to bully me but I couldn't do anything about it because I felt bad making fun of him. So for the rest of my life people knew me as the guy who "couldn't stand up for himself" and I think that's ironic considering it all.
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Bullying

As I was walking home from school, I saw a kid getting bullied by three other kids, so I decided to help. I knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against the four of us.
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What did the bully use when he experimented with the dark arts?

A Wedgie Board.
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What do you call a vegetable that always bully you?

A BEATroot
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How would you describe the average bully?

Mean.
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Bully Big John

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route.

No problems for the first few stops-a few People got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, Built like a...

What does a bully say to SpaceX?

Gimme your launch money!
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A bully at school told me my clothes were gay

So a choked that asshole with my "Pale Heather Cashmere Scarf".

Wanna bully someone? Bully the wheelchair kids cuz they can’t stand up for themself!

This is a joke, don’t cancel me
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The bully problem.

The kid comes home crying to his mommy.

"Mommy, some bad kids in school keep saying my head is big!".

Mom answers "next time it happens, run after them and give them some good punches!!!"

Next day, kiddo comes crying again. "Mommy, some bad kids in school called me big headed ...
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The boy got his ass kicked by his bully after he followed his father’s advice.

The boy thought forsure that playing a nice tune on his violin would dissuade his bully from attacking him through the power of music.

He didn’t understand why it didn’t work, his father was a wise man. The father’s advice advice to the boy was:

“Son, sometimes you must respond to a ph...

Why should you never bully a fifth grader gypsy?

Because his father is in the eleventh grade.
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The bully loomed threateningly over the nerd and said, "You know what snitches get don't you?"

Ummm, "150 points?"
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What do you do when a playground bully stands one inch away and say "I'm not touching you...I'm not touching you.."?

Hope that he pulls the army back to the Kremlin soon.
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School bullying

ME: The bullies at school stole my lunch money again.

DAD: Did you tell anyone?

ME: Yes, but they just say things like "be strong", "stop crying", and "you're a useless teacher”.
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My youngest kid and I like to bully the big one.

That's what we call my wife.
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After years of getting yelled at and doing his work, i finally stood up to my bully...

He fired me.
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The only way to stop a bully is to stand up to them.

Trust me, I have bullied a *lot* of people.
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Everyone thinks Goliath was this big, tough, Jew-bully.

But really, he was a Gentile giant.
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Did you hear about that masochistic bully?

He was just begging to get punched
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I was bullying and kicking this pregnant lady for quite some time

It was soooo awkward when she birthed me lol
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I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out.

I say bought, I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.
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A boy named Steve was being bullied by a boy named Billy.

Billy's parents were vegan, and one day Billy's father had a stroke out of nowhere, despite his healthy lifestyle.

Ever since Billy's dad was hospitalized after the stroke, Billy became very more and more aggressive to the point where he would bully Steve and hurl insults at him daily for no ...

When people start bullying me about my weight, I cut myself.....

another piece of cake
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You should never bully fat people....

They have enough on their plates
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Jebediah the shepherd wanted to make a statement about bullying and stood up at the town meeting.

"Friends, there is a cruel and unfair practice that is infiltrating our community. You may not have noticed, but it is here and it is doing grave damage to my sense of well being and comfort in our beautiful village.

Perhaps Englebert has noticed? The man who bakes our bread every day, who f...

A bully and his gang walk into a Subway store

He then sees the sandwich artist (that's what they are called) is a skinny, young, inexperienced kid- a perfect target to bully while ordering some subs. He walks up to the kid and starts his order of his 6-inch sub

The kid then proceeds to cut a footlong sub bread in half for a 6-inch sub wh...
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Number Bullying

1 was making fun of 0 for being fat and how he equates to nothing. This continued for several weeks until 0 had enough. He grabs 1 by his throat and shouts "Stop boolean me!".
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A bully made fun of my friend's 9cm penis

He stopped after I whipped my 9mm out of my pants

When I was younger a bully used to take my money...

He still does, but now he asks if I want fries with my order.
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I told my bully he was just a child having an existential crisis.

He said “I know you are, but what am I?”
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Today i saw a kid getting beaten up at school by 4 bullys so i decided to take a step

This fucker got no chance versus 5 of us

I am a victim of cyber bullying

Every day my bank emails me to notify me that my account is under the required threshold. I do not need reminders that I am poor.
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What do you get when you cross a lab monkey and a bully?

I don’t know, but it’s about to beat you up after Rhesus..

Disclaimer: Took this one from r/adviceanimals
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Picasso, Caravaggio, and Warhol meet in Hell.

They ask for an appointment with god to ask him why they went to hell despite being great artists who gave so much to the world.

God says, "Caravaggio, you were a street gang bully and a literal murderer. Of course you go to hell."

"What about me?" Picasso says.

"Picasso, you tr...

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