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A high school bully sees an old victim at their reunion,

Bully: Hey virgin!

Victim: Im not a virgin, just ask your sister.

Bully: I dont have a sister, dumbass.

Victim: Just wait nine months.

Years ago, I viciously beat up my high school bully with a baseball bat. Both of his arms were broken.

Come to think of it, that's probably why I felt brave enough to beat him up.

To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.

On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

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What should you reply when a bully asks you ''Why are you so fat?''

''Everytime i fuck your mom she gives me a cookie.''

Why should you never bully a fifth grader gypsy?

Because his father is in the eleventh grade.

Met my school bully 10 years after I last saw him. He still takes my money today.

But on the other hand, he certainly knows how to make a decent sandwich.

Why is it wrong to bully people in wheel chair?

Because they can't stand up for themselves.

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Today i saw a kid getting beaten up at school by 4 bullys so i decided to take a step

This fucker got no chance versus 5 of us

When your bored, bully an orphan

Its not like they can tell their parents

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A bully at school told me my clothes were gay

So a choked that asshole with my "Pale Heather Cashmere Scarf".

I met this little boy today who told me he is starting at a new school tomorrow and was afraid that the other kids would bully him.

I told him, "Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize. Why would anyone pick on you?"

What do you get when you cross a lab monkey and a bully?

I don’t know, but it’s about to beat you up after Rhesus..

Disclaimer: Took this one from r/adviceanimals

I remember when I finally knocked out the school bully. I thought I'd be an instant hero, but apparently...

...it's 'appalling behavior' for a parent.

A bully and his gang walk into a Subway store

He then sees the sandwich artist (that's what they are called) is a skinny, young, inexperienced kid- a perfect target to bully while ordering some subs. He walks up to the kid and starts his order of his 6-inch sub

The kid then proceeds to cut a footlong sub bread in half for a 6-inch sub wh...

It wasn't when the bully called me a big fat doughboy that hurt as much as the punch in my stomach.

It left a big impression.

What does a bully say to SpaceX?

Gimme your launch money!

Everyone thinks Goliath was this big, tough, Jew-bully.

But really, he was a Gentile giant.

I had 2 chinese friend, who were twins.

One day, a bully came up to him and demanded their lunch money, but they quickly beat the bully up.

The bully really messed with the Wong kids.

The bully loomed threateningly over the nerd and said, "You know what snitches get don't you?"

Ummm, "150 points?"

I told my bully he was just a child having an existential crisis.

He said “I know you are, but what am I?”

I finally plucked up enough courage to beat up the school bully.

It was a different school, and 15 years later,
but damn it felt good

I ran into my high school bully yesterday

Unfortunately he was wearing his seatbelt

What do you call a kid that stands up to a bully?

An ambulance.......

Why does Earth bully other planets?

Because they have no life.

Did you hear about that masochistic bully?

He was just begging to get punched

What do you call an average math bully?

Mean.

When I was younger a bully used to take my money...

He still does, but now he asks if I want fries with my order.

What did the blonde say when the classroom bully stole her pencil?

I LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN WRITE NOW

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Bully

Son: Dad a guy at school keeps calling me gay.
Dad: Punch him in the throat son...
Son: But dad, he is so cute.

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A bully made fun of my friend's 9cm penis

He stopped after I whipped my 9mm out of my pants

The bully problem.

The kid comes home crying to his mommy.

"Mommy, some bad kids in school keep saying my head is big!".

Mom answers "next time it happens, run after them and give them some good punches!!!"

Next day, kiddo comes crying again. "Mommy, some bad kids in school called me big headed ...

A schoolyard bully asked all of his usual victims to get together and be waiting for him so he could get through all of his beatings quickly this time, but none of them showed up.

End of joke. There was no punchline.

Bully Big John

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route.

No problems for the first few stops-a few People got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, Built like a...

What do you call a snake that builds houses?

A boa constructer



Don’t bully me I know it’s bad

Did you hear about the organic compound who became a bully?

Mean ether.

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There was a school in England which was infamous for having the savage bullies. [Long]

There was a school in England which was infamous for having the savage bullies. The school used to come in the news fairly regularly for nothing but their bullies. More often than not the school bullies used to line up the other students and hit them in the face. The consequences of not being presen...

What's the difference between a personal trainer and a bully?

None, they still take your money after beating you up.

You should never bully fat people....

They have enough on their plates

Gravity is such a bully...

It always brings us down.

A bully, a baby, and a carrot walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What'll you have, Mr. Boehner?"

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Just say no

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, mor...

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My Shaggy Dog Joke

WARNING: This joke will probably not be funny.

There was this young boy who fantasized about flying like the birds one day. Every day after school he would try to make an invention that would allow him to soar above the clouds.

Every time he failed. Kids would bully him for flailing t...

How did the Roman Empire split into 2?

They used a pair of “caesars”
(I made this in my global class, if you guys don’t know what happened during the Roman Empire they were so big to control that they divided into two)
pls no bully me

What does a bully say to someone with severe depression?

Stop hating yourself, stop hating yourself!

A wimpy kid wears a Santa hat to school.

All the girls are giggling and talking to him, he's in heaven!

Then the school bully, jealous of the attention, snatches the hat and says , " You don't care if I wear this, do you?"

The kid says " Do you have head lice?"

"No!" says the bully.

" Well you do now! Merry Chri...

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“Son, get up! You have to go to school!.”

“I don’t want to go Dad. The kids make fun of me, bully me around and laugh at my face everyday. “
“I understand son, but you are 43 and you’re the Principal. Get up !”

A man is hanging out in an alley, waiting to scare someone

A man is hanging out in an alley, waiting to scare someone. After waiting a while, another guy starts walking down the alley. The first guy jumps out at him, screaming "BAAH!" The second man, startled, says, "Why did you do that?"
"I just want to scare people," the first man responds.
"Well,"...

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A boy named Steve was being bullied by a boy named Billy.

Billy's parents were vegan, and one day Billy's father had a stroke out of nowhere, despite his healthy lifestyle.

Ever since Billy's dad was hospitalized after the stroke, Billy became very more and more aggressive to the point where he would bully Steve and hurl insults at him daily for no ...

I was bullied...

When I was a little kid this other kid in a wheelchair used to bully me but I couldn't do anything about it because I felt bad making fun of him. So for the rest of my life people knew me as the guy who "couldn't stand up for himself" and I think that's ironic considering it all.

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My friends and I get bullied a lot

I was at school, going to the lunchroom with my friends- James (he has Parkinson's Disease), Alex (he's mute), Megan (she's completely blind in both eyes), Abby (she has asthma) and Hayley (she's albino). I myself am paralyzed from the waist down and so I need to use a wheelchair. Since my friends a...

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A wimpy-looking fellow is sitting in the corner of the bar, all by himself, staring at a beer instead of drinking it...

An hour passes, and Bubba, the local bully decides to mess with him. He walks up, grabs the man's glass and downs it in a few gulps. He slams the glass down and says, "There! That's how a man drinks a goddamn beer, you fucking pussy!"

The little guy looks up at him in horror, and then busts ...

School bullying

ME: The bullies at school stole my lunch money again.

DAD: Did you tell anyone?

ME: Yes, but they just say things like "be strong", "stop crying", and "you're a useless teacher”.

The cellphone goes off in class...

Bully: "Aww, Is your Mommy calling you?"

The class emerges in snickers.

You: "Nope. Yours is."

The class becomes silent.

Will & Quentin

There were two friends named Will and Quentin. Quentin hated his name so he went by the name Q. Both of these kids weren't nerds in any regard, but they were both ridiculed for their abnormalities. Will was 16 years old and still was only 5'2'' (a small height for a young man his age) and Q was hosp...

The Rabbi in Trinidad

Once upon a time, there lived an Israeli Rabbi.  He was a kind old man who always meant well, and was well liked, even if he could be a little over zealous at times.  He heard one day that there was a spot being offered as a missionary to travel to a small village in Trinidad and teach the town's fo...

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Smartenin' pills

This little kid Jimmy was frustrated, because every day as he walked to school with his lunch, the big bully Buster would stop him and ask him what he had for lunch. Then he would take the lunch and eat it!

So one day Jimmy decided he had enough, he had to do something about this. Now his A...

When I'm a dad, I want to call my child "Welcome".

So that when they ask me "Dad, why did you give me such a terrible name? All my peers bully me, and it's making my life miserable." I can tell them "You're Welcome."

A hunchback kid came home from school crying

Mom: why you cry son


Kid: kids at school telling me "fu***ng hunchback"


Mom: let's enroll you at karate school so you can beat them up


*kid enrolls at karate school*


- A MONTH LATER -


*kid still came home from school crying*

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