UPJOKE
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Q : "Do you the difference between 5 minutess of sodomy and 5 minutes of doggy style ? "

A : "No"
Q : "Do you have 10 minutes ?"

A woman dies and goes to the afterlife. They tell her:

\- You were a righteous woman in your life. You may go to Heaven, here is the queue.

She joins the queue, starts waiting... suddenly, she hears a horrible scream.

\- What was that? - she asks a nearby angel.

\- Well, a new soul is being converted into an angel, so they drill ho...

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I wish Christian guys would make up their minds, one minute they are saying homosexuality is a sin and that sodomy is evil

The next they are telling me how good it felt to let Jesus enter them.

Sodomy through the ear is a new trend

but now hearing aids are spreading

I have a friend in Atlanta who was arrested for sodomy.

His lawyer was so good he got it knocked down to “following too closely”.

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I Used To Be Against Sodomy

Butt fuck it!

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A blonde 8 year old girl is walking home one day...

... when she finds a welders mask. She thinks to herself "awesome" and puts it on and continues on her walk. A few minutes later a middle aged dude pulls up alongside the little girl and says "Hey kid, nice mask, wanna lift?" The little girl doesn't know any better and decides to take him up on his ...

I'm naming my leather bar the Royal Navy

It's got rum, sodomy, and the lash

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I asked my girlfriend if we could try anal.

She said “you’re not ready for that sodomy”

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A man dies and goes to hell.

"Don't be scared," said Satan as he led the man around the place.

"We have Music Mondays for you to jam, Tipsy Tuesdays to get drunk, Weed Wednesdays to get high, Thanksgivings Thursdays to eat good ol' delicious stuffed Turkey, Funny Fridays for some comedic relief, as well as Smart Saturday...

Three explorers are captured by natives

All 3 are tied up and displayed in the middle of the village. The leader of the natives approaches them.

"You are trespassers and must be punished. You must choose between death and ooga-booga." The explorers learn that "ooga-booga" is forced sodomy.

"I am too young to die!" the fir...

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The Twelve Thank-You Notes of Christmas

Dearest John:

I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.

With dearest love and affection, Agnes

December 15th

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gi...

A man bursts into a confession booth

"Father!" he cries, hardly able to breathe. "For the last month I have been having daily orgies with just me and 5 women from my street. Two of the women are a twins"

"My child, this is wanton. I can absolve you but once this has stopped"

"There has been much sodomy Father. Every depra...

A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear.

He carries his trusty 22-gauge rifle with him. After a while, he spots a very large bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone. A moment later, the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “No one shoots at me and gets away with it. You have two choices: I can rip your...

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The Welding Mask

It's Johnny's tenth birthday, so his mother gives him five bucks to go to the candy store down the street to buy whatever he wants. During his walk he goes through a construction site and sees a welding mask on the ground that he thinks is cool so he decides to pick it up and put it on.

As he...

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A kid's walking down the street...

...he finds a welders mask on the sidewalk and puts it on. He keeps walking down the street, flipping the mask up and down, open and closed. A car pulls up next to him and the window rolls down. A man leans out and asks the boy if he'd like a ride. He says "sure" and gets in the car. He sits in the ...

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Welders mask

A kid is playing in his front yard wearing his dad's welders mask. A car pulls up and the guy driving shouts out "Hey kid, I have some candy want to go for a ride?"
The kid gets into the car and he's sitting there with the welders mask on. They are driving for a little bit when the driver lean...

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A young boy is walking home

A young boy is walking home one way when he finds a welder's mask on the ground. He picks it up, puts it on, and fiddles with it, flipping the visor open and closed. Right then a white van pulls up next to him and a strange man tells him he'll give the boy a ride.

The boy gets in and the man ...

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