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Melons Jokes

If life gives you melons...

You have dyslexia.

What do you call a sad community of melons?

A melancholy melon colony.

Why were the melons forced into a traditional marriage?

Because they canteloupe

Why do melons have big weddings?

They cantaloupe

Why can't melons get married?

They cantaloupe ^sorry ^I'll ^leave

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I would never ever refer to an older woman's sagging boobs as melons...

That would be low hanging fruit.

Two melons are in love...

After decades of conflict and war, the people of Watermelon Kingdom and Cataloupe Country are trying to ease diplomatic tensions between their peoples. A student exchange program is started to foster cross-cultural understanding.

Through the exchange program, Wally Watermelon meets Cassandra...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

**NSFW** A 20 year old joke

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hangi...

Did you hear about the two melons in love?

They want to run away together but unfortunately they cantaloupe.

Two melons: A Love Story

One day two melons were laying next to each other in the sunny field. The same thing is also going on in an alternate universe. Tom Melon looks over and sees the most beautiful melon he’s ever laid his melon eyes upon. “I have to get over there and say something to her” he thinks to himself. So he r...

Where do melons go for summer fun?

John Cougar Mellencamp

[dad joke incoming] Why were the teenage melons sad?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why did the two melons have a large wedding?

Because they can’t elope.

Two melons are madly in love

But they are completely broke, so they can't elope.

Two Melons ran away to Mexico to get Married

The first asked the second, "Honey, do you really think we should do this?"

The second replied, "You're right, we can't elope."

Two Melons Fall In Love

The guy says, “I love you so much, my sweet little honey dew. I don’t want to wait. Let’s run away to Vegas together.”

The girl replies, “No, baby. I cantaloupe.”

Two melons were in the supermarket

When one exclaimed to the other “Let’s run away from this place and get married!!”

The other one replied “Honey I do want to, but you know I can’t elope”

Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license?

Because it means they *cantaloupe*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Melons in Love

Once upon a time, there were two teenage melons who fell in love at first sight, so they decided to run away to Vegas to get married. The melons woke up very early one morning to sneak away, since the drive would take all day and all night, and also because they suspected their parents would not app...

What's the saddest part about the relationship between a melon farmer and the girl who is allergic to melons?

They cant-elope!

Do you know the reasons why most melons live alone?

Because they can't elope

The Melon mogul's daughter

There once was a rich melon mogul, who had dominated the melon industry for years. There was one small sector he couldn't get a foothold in, though. So he sent his only daughter there to see if she could turn it around. She was young, beautiful and knew how to run a melon operation. When she arrive ...

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