Two long time friends, Ollie and Brock, woke up early for work as they always do.
They each got into their trucks and headed to the local Ag plant where they work as produce haulers.
"What do you have for us today Flower?" asked Brock as they walk in. Their secretary’s real name is Ava but they always jokingly call her Flower.
"Well we've got three shipments that a...
What is the difference between boogers and Brussels sprouts?
Little kids will eat boogers.
What do they call their kids in Belgium?
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What do you call a prostitute's children?
What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
I don't like brussel sprouts!!!
A boy is born without a body
A boy is born without a body and miraculously survives. Even though he has no body parts below the neck he manages to make it through high school and on his 18th birthday his father takes him out for his first drink.
The boy drinks his first beer and instantly grows a torso. In utter shock, t...
What’s the best vegetable to clean your teeth with?
"Some foods give me sleepless nights," I told my wife.
"Like what?" she asked.
"But you don't eat Brussels Sprouts."
"No," I said, "but you do."
A Man Walks Into A Bar With A Duffle Bag
A man walks into a bar carrying a duffle bag and places it on the bar. He says "My son just turned 21 and I would like to buy him a drink!" The bartender looks around and asks "Where's the birthday boy?" The man unzips the duffle bag and pulls the head of a 21 year old man out of it. The bartender g...
Xmas Joke Help
So December 1st is upon us (in Australia at least) and that means that it is time for me to begin my annual tradition of posting daily status updates on facebook with terrible xmas jokes until xmas. An advent calendar of xmas cracker jokes if you will.
Anyway this is my third o...
A couple has a baby boy born without a body... (A Two-Parter)
*** Part 1 *** After years of trying to conceive, a couple finally manages to have a baby. However, the baby is born with only a head, with no body, arms, or legs. Despite the setback, the couple set out to raise their child as they would any other.
After ten years of challenging ch...
Two Mexican Brothers
So two brothers, Ramon and Emelio, escape from a prison deep in the Mexican desert. They run for days and days through the hot and and the heat begins to take its toll. They are getting hungrier and thirstier and, all in all, more and more exhausted. Suddenly, Ramon collapses. He looks up, reach...
"Just a Head"
So there was once a child and he had a terrible, terrible birth defect where he was only a head. On his 21st Birthday, his father took him to bar to get his first drink and of course the bodiless kid was excited to get drunk for the first time. The father places his son on the bar and orders him a b...
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Roger the Living Head [Story Joke]
So there's this newly married couple, and they love each other quite a bit. So they decide they're going to have a child. Nine months goes by and it's time for the child to be delivered, but when the doctors pull the baby out, it is only a head. It's still crying and healthy, but it has no body besi...
A man has a son who was born as just a head
A man has a son who is literally just a head - no arms, legs, torso - just a head. On his son's 21st birthday, he takes him to a bar for his first drink.
"Bartender, can I have a rum and Coke for my son, please?"
The man gives his son a drink and he sprouts a torso.
"My God," th...
A husband rushes into the emergency room from work to greet his wife who is giving birth to their first born. He helps all he can; he holds his wife's hand and breathes with her through the pain. The doctor claims to see the head. The husband runs around and watches as this bloody, mess of a human b...