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Oranges Jokes

Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbour.

They decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery.

As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn't bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag.

A few minutes lat...

I bought a bunch of oranges and spelled "hi" with them.

I was then told that was *not* how you say "HI" in Mandarin....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Free oranges

A young teenager was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the teen.

The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walki...

What is the highest religious authority among oranges called?

The Pulp.

What do you get when rubbing two oranges together

Pulp friction

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin.

Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one!

If alive, Steve Jobs would've made a better president than Trump..

But that's really comparing Apple to oranges

Two oranges walk into a bar..

One turns to the other and says: "you're round".

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

**Big hands.**

Apples are a lot like oranges

They're both fruit, they both grow on trees and you can't compare them to each other.

Do you think oranges become juice willingly

Or are they getting pressured into it?

If you say "gullible" slowly enough, it actually sounds like"oranges"

Give it a try

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A girl was a prostitute, but she didn’t want her grandma to know.

One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and the girl was among them.

The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly, the girl’s grandma came by and saw her granddaughter.

Grandma asked, “Why ar...

Why did pirates eat oranges?

For the vitamin SEA

What do you call fake oranges?

Pulp Fiction

I asked my bartender if he had ever tried putting sliced oranges in a beer.

He replied, “Once in a blue moon.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler didn't like oranges...

He hated the juice.

I was throwing oranges at tropical birds.

One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”

My girlfriend always gets mad when I mess with her red wine, so I added some Sprite and oranges to it and now...

She’s sangria then ever!

If you have 4 apples in one hand and 3 oranges in the other...

You should probably go back and get a basket

Banned oranges...

It's 2021 and I went to the supermarket to buy some oranges but couldn't find any. I went to another one but there were no oranges again...

I asked the store manager what's the matter

He said "Trump banned all the Muslims for what some of them did so the new president banned all the o...

What's an oranges' favorite movie?

Pulp Fiction.

How many oranges grow on a tree?

All of them

If we get oranges from orange groves...

... do we get men from Mangroves

Little Johnny doing Math

The math teacher asks Little Johnny: “If I give you 3 cats, and then another 3 cats, and then again another 3 cats, how many cats would you have?”

Little Johnny responds: “ten.”

Teacher: “Ok… that’s not correct, let’s do this again. But pay attention this time. If I gave you 3 cats, a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where did Hitler send his Oranges?

The concentration camps.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

No Oranges

A little old lady walks up to a grocery store manager and says, "Excuse me, sir, but I can't find the oranges."
"Well, the manager says, we may be out of them or maybe they've been moved." The old lady walks away and then comes back in a few minutes, and says, "Sir, I still can't find the orange...

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There’s a squirrel sitting in an acorn tree, doing squirrel stuff...

When he notices an elephant approach and begin to climb the tree. He’s baffled and yells down ‘WHAT are you doing?!’

The elephant nonchalantly replies ‘I’m just coming up to eat oranges’. The squirrel snorts and shouts back ‘you IDIOT; this is an acorn tree!’

The elephant, now nearin...

Did you hear about the man who was using apples and oranges for flooring?

He started to lay them down when he realized it was fruit-tile.

What do you call a group of religious oranges?

Jehovah's citruses.

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