Avocados Jokes - 21 Hilarious Avocados Jokes

What do you get if you mash 6.02 * 10^23 avocados?

Guacamole...

If two avocado are “avocados”

then shouldn’t three avocado be “avocatres”, and four be “avoquatro”, and five be “avocinco”?

A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and, if they have avocados, get six.”

A short time later, the husband returns with six cartons of milk.

“Why did you buy six cartons of milk?” the wife asks.

He replies, “They had avocados.”

Went to the eye doctor, and now I can’t go near avocados anymore.

Freaking guacloma!

Why shouldn't you put avocados in your eyes?

You could get guacoma.

What’s an avocados favorite arcade game?

Guac-a-Mole

Yet again I bought a beetroot that punches avocados.

Back with another one of those guac clockin' beets.

What do you get when you mix Swiss Cheese and avocados?

Holy Guacamole!

What do you call young avocados?

Avokiddos.

What type of music do avocados listen to?

Guac & Roll

Two avocados at a bar

"Can I have your number?"

"6.022140857(74)×10\^23"

How do you get a bunch of avocados into an Aerosmith concert?

You tell them to GUAC This Way!

What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?

Gu-whack-a-mole-e.

I developed a game where you feed avocados to small subterranean mammals!

It's called Guacamole!

What did the dad who had too many avocados say to people as he handed them out for free?

"Havocado!"

An avocado farmer has all of his crop stolen and calls the police...

Farmer: Someone stole all of my avocados!

Cop: How many avocados?

Farmer: All of them!

Cop: I need an exact number for the report.

Farmer: How am I supposed to know how many avocados there are?

Cop (annoyed): Just tell me the number of avocados.

Farmer: 6.02...

A woman asks her Aspie husband to go to the grocery store.

She says “buy a loaf of bread, and if they have avocados get six.”

An hour later, her husband returns with six loaves of bread. “They had avocados.” he explains.

ANOTHER WOODEN BALL..!!!!!

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?...

A man and woman are having lunch....

The woman goes, "hey could you please go to the store to get 1 litre of milk? And if they have avocado's, bring 6.

*10 mins later*

Man comes back with 6 cartons of milk," hey honey, they had avocados".

Fed up with with the prices at the grocery store, a housewife finds the nearest employee and screams " YOU CAN TAKE THIS $12 PINEAPPLE, AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!"

The grocery clerk said "I'm sorry Ma'am but I can't. I already have an $18 chicken, a $6 gallon of milk, and 3 avocados up there"

My chemistry class had a party

My teacher brought some avocados, about 6.022x10^23 of them, for the guaca-mole.

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