If two avocado are “avocados”

then shouldn’t three avocado be “avocatres”, and four be “avoquatro”, and five be “avocinco”?

How do you get a bunch of avocados into an Aerosmith concert?

You tell them to GUAC This Way!

A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and, if they have avocados, get six.”

A short time later, the husband returns with six cartons of milk.

“Why did you buy six cartons of milk?” the wife asks.

He replies, “They had avocados.”

What type of music do avocados listen to?

Guac & Roll

Why shouldn't you put avocados in your eyes?

You could get guacoma.

An avocado farmer has all of his crop stolen and calls the police...

Farmer: Someone stole all of my avocados!

Cop: How many avocados?

Farmer: All of them!

Cop: I need an exact number for the report.

Farmer: How am I supposed to know how many avocados there are?

Cop (annoyed): Just tell me the number of avocados.

Farmer: 6.02...

What do you call young avocados?

Avokiddos.

What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?

Guaca-mole

What did the dad who had too many avocados say to people as he handed them out for free?

"Havocado!"

What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?

Gu-whack-a-mole-e.

Two avocados at a bar

"Can I have your number?"



"6.022140857(74)×10\^23"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bezos: "Alexa, buy avocados from Whole Foods"

Alexa: "Ok, buying Whole Foods"

Bezos: "Shit"

I developed a game where you feed avocados to small subterranean mammals!

It's called Guacamole!

What do you get when you combine Avogadro's number of avocados?

GuacaMole!

A man and woman are having lunch....

The woman goes, "hey could you please go to the store to get 1 litre of milk? And if they have avocado's, bring 6.

*10 mins later*

Man comes back with 6 cartons of milk," hey honey, they had avocados".

Where Guacamole's grow

From @neiltyson

Geeky Chemistry Humor for Foodies:

If Avogadro’s Number is 6.022 x 10^23 (which equals one Mole) then 6.022 x 10^23 Avocados equals one Guaca-Mole.

Another wooden ball?

Would it kill the makers of avocados to include a different toy, like a mood ring or a novelty eraser?

Fed up with with the prices at the grocery store, a housewife finds the nearest employee and screams " YOU CAN TAKE THIS $12 PINEAPPLE, AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!"

The grocery clerk said "I'm sorry Ma'am but I can't. I already have an $18 chicken, a $6 gallon of milk, and 3 avocados up there"

My chemistry class had a party

My teacher brought some avocados, about 6.022x10^23 of them, for the guaca-mole.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the elephant paint his balls green?

Answer: to hide in avocado trees..

How did Tarzan die?
Answer: Picking avocados

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.