What do you get when you ask a furry to build a computer?

LenOWO, with WinRAWR pre-installed.

The FBI was following a furry.

They were on his tail.

Pacman must be a furry

Because he keeps going UWU~UWU~UWU~UWU

I met a furry dominatrix with an amazing sound system

You wouldn't believe how many sub woofers she has.

What do you call a shunned furry?

Fursona non grata.

What did the furry spider say to its crush?

oOOowoOOo

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It's not like I'm into furry porn or anything...

But we've all been down that rabbit hole.

I got caught smuggling a gun to the furry convention

Security guard : *(notices bulge)* OwO what's this?!!

My gf broke up with be because I came out as a furry

Big woof

I dated an older furry once...

She was a cougar

Who’s the happiest person at a furry convention?

The one with the flamethrower.

Never rob a bank if you are a furry.

The police will be hot in pursuit, you will be hot in fursuit.

What do you call a furry hip hop group?

The Uwu-Tang Clan

What do you call a furry that was blended into ice cream?

A McFurry.

What do you call a furry that got laid off and laid at the same time.

A furloughed fur load.

After entering what appeared to be a whole new world I witnessed incredible things - a man-beast union composed of a human top and goat bottom, a queen who wore a gown made of icicles, a huge furry lion who ruled over it all.

Eventually though I decided to go home. I came out of the closet and told my parents of the adventures I'd had. They're very closed minded though - they said it was perverted and sent me to conversion therapy.

What would you call an insect version of a furry?

Creepy

What’s a furry‘s favorite instrument?

The owo

What do you call a Caucasian furry?

An animal cracker...

How do you spread the Furry disease?

By using pathOwOgens.

How much does a furry suit cost?

Your dignity

I went on a date last night and I knew the girl was a little kinky but then she showed me the furry outfit she wanted me to wear...

It gave me paws.

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather.

The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind her and caught her.

"I am going to eat you for lunch," said the fox.

"Wait," replied the rabbit, "You should at least wait a few days."

"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?"

"Well, I am just finishing my thesi...

What's a furry's favorite file storage format?

.rawr

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I was hangin' with a couple of buddies

We got really toasted & for some reason we got on the subject of porn. Weird porn. Incest porn, furry porn. Just some kinks. One of my buds pulls up a weird incest/furry porn that was really unwatchable for me. We scrolled through some thumbnails and I said "stop, go back, that one." He clicked ...

If Dracula were a furry, what would his name be?

Nos-fur-atu

I dated a furry once

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah

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As you know, last year's Furrycon got out of hand. This year, I'm cracking down. Zero furry porn, and figure-hugging fursuits that are tight against the buttocks will not be allowed. This rule is 100% non-negotiable.

No yiffs, no butts.

Did you hear about the Furry Convention in King’s Landing this year?

It drag-on, and on, and on.

What do you call a furry that sometimes cosplays as star wars characters?

Ani-Kin

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A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat

and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.


As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.


The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the furry fella out and headed home.
<...

How would the Church of England deal with the statement that "the cat sat on the mat" if it appeared in the Bible?

The liberal theologians would point out that such a passage did not of course mean that the cat literally sat on the mat. Also, cat and mat had different meanings in those days from today, and anyway, the text should be interpreted according to the customs and practices of the period.

This ...

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A special talking koala was making his way from Australia to New York.

He wandered down a back alley one day and saw a sexy lady in heels and a short skirt smoking a cigarette.

She was shocked when he asked her for one of her cigarettes. "Omg you can talk?"

After talking she invited him inside and before she knew it he was up her skirt and performed cunni...

What does a furry thats had a stroke look like

Uwu

What does a furry say when having a gun pointed at them?

ONO

What has 4 legs, is green, furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?

A pool table.

So I read on a website to "treat your furry friend once a week."

So I bought him two tickets to Zootopia.

A man goes on vacation and leaves his cat with his brother

He's gone for a few days and decides that he misses his furry friend, so he calls his brother up to check on her. His brother answers the phone.

"Hey! I'm just calling to check on how Fluffy's doing without me"

His brother on the other end gets quiet before saying, "I dont know how t...

What's the similarity between a joke and a small, cute, furry mammal?

They both die when dissected

What's a furry's favorite line from Bohemian Rhapsody?

Mamaaaaa, OwO

What kind of car does a pirate furry drive?

A fur-ARR-y.

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A guy walks into a bar with a dog...

... The bartender looks up and says, "You can't come in here with that mutt!"

The guy says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! This ain't no ordinary dog. As a matter of fact, you should be paying for my drinks, because this dog is going to draw a crowd. It's a talking dog."

The bartender scoffs, but ...

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A fly walks into a proctologist’s office

And across the desk of that proctologist the fly goes into the issues that cause him pain.

“Well, where to begin... uhhhh let’s start with my credit, I took a dive of a FICO score from 670 to 450 in the last 6 months, my boss is cracking down on these new reports that corporate wants done da...

Looking dog tired...

A three-legged dog walks into a Texas saloon, spurs clinking as he walks. His six-shooter slapping against his furry hip, he bellies up to the bar staring down the bartender and proclaims, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Centuries ago, on a remote island in the North Atlantic...

Vikings arrived and began a settlement with help from their Irish thralls. But they weren't alone. All manner of otherworldly beings lurked in the island's hidden corners. The Vikings called these beings *vættir*; the Gaels called them *Aes Sídhe*.

Among these beings were the selkies who frol...

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What's furry and contains cat shit?

A cat.

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Why did the furry get arrested?

For looking at kitty porn.

“Going down the rabbit hole” is an expression meaning to enter into a strange or complicated situation,

And also to a person exploring their new furry kink.

Dog asks cat, "We sorta look similar, have four legs and are both furry, you even are a bit smaller. Why in the hell do you have so much respect but I don't?"

Cat: "You 'bow' while me 'owe'."

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Bears in Bars in Butte, Montana

One beautiful springtime day, a bear wakes up after a long winter's sleep, smacks his lips, and decides he's going to go to town to get a beer.

Just so happens that this bear's home is nearby Butte, Montana, and he found it pretty easy to find a bar. He walks on in, takes a stool, lays his bi...

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A lost poodle wanders through a forest

On the first day of an African safari trip, a woman gets distracted and her poodle wanders off into a forest. As the dog trots through the forest, it realizes it is lost and starts to panic.

While the poodle frantically runs around trying to find it's way back, a lion sees it and decides to ...

Free Kittens

A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket of furry animals; in her hand was a sign that read: FREE KITTENS. Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall grinning man. "Hi there little girl...

My sister came out as a furry

Let's just say she's purrrrrfect... for being hunted

I walked in on my son making out with his girlfriend. "Oh, woah, what's this?" I asked. He's been avoiding me ever since...

... and keeps mumbling something about me being a "furry"

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A Prostitute Walks Into a Bar

A prostitute walks into a bar. She spots a koala bear sitting at the end of the bar. After a little small-talk and flirting, the koala bear goes home with her. They frolic all night long. The next morning, the koala gets up and wanders towards the door.

"HEY! Where are you going?" yells the ...

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Koala bears are smart

A koala bear picks up a prostitute and after tries to sneak out of the motel room before the prostitute wakes up. As he opens the door, the protitute wakes up and says "where do you think you're going? You haven't paid me yet". The koala is confused and refuses to pay, so the protitute says "let's ...

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What do you call a dog fucker in McDonalds?

A McFurry

What did Beethoven say to his hairy piano playing dog, Lise?

"Come here, furry Lise."

A Jewish man traveled to a small mountain island

He was greeted at the harbor by a friendly resident who took him on a tour of the town. As they were walking, they heard a squeal and saw a small furry creature falling down the mountain, tumbling past them before rolling to a stop. The Jewish man looked on in astonishment at this exotic creature. <...

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A koala bear and a hooker...

A koala bear and a hooker go back to her place and they get undressed. The koala bear goes down on the hooker for three hours straight. She has multiple orgasms! After three hours he stops, gets up and puts on his little koala clothes. The woman is hanging back huffing and puffing from exhaustion....

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

Why are there so many furry flat earthers?

Because they don't have Occam's Razor.

Why did the fetishist come so quickly?

He had an appointment and was in a furry.

A mall owner was speaking to the manager about the Santa Claus hiring for the Christmas holidays.

Owner: So how have the interviews been going? Any good candidates?

Manager: Well there was this one guy today. He was a fat guy, with rosy red cheeks and sporting a large sac. He had the furry cuffs, and a leather belt.

Owner: He sounds like the real deal!

Manager: Actually he h...

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A big tomcat was napping on his owner's back porch

When he hears a commotion from next door. A new family was moving in, and with them was the most gorgeous little cat he had ever laid eyes on. Only one thing stood in his way, a barbed wire fence separating the properties.

Over the next few weeks, the family settles in and the tom continues t...

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Bombs and Berries (Long) (Original)

Back Story: During World War 2, it was super cold in Nazi Germany. The American troops were told if they were ever in a rough situation, to look for frozen squirrels at the base of trees. Then place the frozen squirrel between their thighs (the warmest part of the body) to warm it up. The squirls wo...

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