The FBI was following a furry.

They were on his tail.

What do you get when you ask a furry to build a computer?

LenOWO, with WinRAWR pre-installed.

How much does a furry suit cost?

Your dignity

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It's not like I'm into furry porn or anything...

But we've all been down that rabbit hole.

I got caught smuggling a gun to the furry convention

Security guard : *(notices bulge)* OwO what's this?!!

What do you call a Caucasian furry?

An animal cracker...

What does furrys and fastfood lovers have together?

They both love hot dogs

What do you call a furry that was blended into ice cream?

A McFurry.

I met a furry dominatrix with an amazing sound system

You wouldn't believe how many sub woofers she has.

So I dated a furry once

I didnt know he was a furry at the time.

After a while, he showed me his true collars

What did the furry spider say to its crush?

oOOowoOOo

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I was hangin' with a couple of buddies

We got really toasted & for some reason we got on the subject of porn. Weird porn. Incest porn, furry porn. Just some kinks. One of my buds pulls up a weird incest/furry porn that was really unwatchable for me. We scrolled through some thumbnails and I said "stop, go back, that one." He clicked ...

Pacman must be a furry

Because he keeps going UWU~UWU~UWU~UWU

What's a furry's favorite file storage format?

.rawr

what do people do if a furry nearly drowns

give them furs-taid


yeah its not that good ik

What has 4 legs, is green, furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?

A pool table.

It's a hard life, being a furry

It's a dog eat dog world out there

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What happens when a furry takes over nazi germany?

The Furred reich

I dated a furry once

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah

What's a furry's favourite board game?

Trivial Fursuit

One furry asked another furry how she like it in bed

'Ruff', she said.

What do you call a furry hip hop group?

The Uwu-Tang Clan

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As you know, last year's Furrycon got out of hand. This year, I'm cracking down. Zero furry porn, and figure-hugging fursuits that are tight against the buttocks will not be allowed. This rule is 100% non-negotiable.

No yiffs, no butts.

What's a furry's favorite line from Bohemian Rhapsody?

Mamaaaaa, OwO

My gf broke up with be because I came out as a furry

Big woof

So I read on a website to "treat your furry friend once a week."

So I bought him two tickets to Zootopia.

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A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat

and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.


As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.


The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the furry fella out and headed home.
<...

If you get banned from a furry convention

You will be fursona non grata

I have green skin, a nose three times the size of the horn on my head, four brown teeth and my neck is covered in furry scales... what am I?

Ugly!

What does a furry reads to know his future ?

An owoscope

If you’re a furry, and get turned on by chickens

Are you a Hen-Thigh enthusiast?

What kind of car does a furry drive?

A subuwu

A woman and her husband are driving down the highway, when all of a sudden - splat - they've hit something furry

The woman pulls over, gets out and looks behind the car. A little bunny is squashed on the side of the road. The man, coming up behind him, says "Oh poor little guy."

"It's OK," says the woman, "I've got just the thing." She goes back, rummages in her handbag, and comes back with a spray can....

After entering what appeared to be a whole new world I witnessed incredible things - a man-beast union composed of a human top and goat bottom, a queen who wore a gown made of icicles, a huge furry lion who ruled over it all.

Eventually though I decided to go home. I came out of the closet and told my parents of the adventures I'd had. They're very closed minded though - they said it was perverted and sent me to conversion therapy.

What would you call an insect version of a furry?

Creepy

I went on a date last night and I knew the girl was a little kinky but then she showed me the furry outfit she wanted me to wear...

It gave me paws.

There are two wolves inside of you.

You're at a furry convention after hours.

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On the sixth day

**ON THE SIXTH DAY... **

**God Creating Spiders**

God: Make it have 8 legs

Angel: Seems excessive but OK

God: And 8 eyes

Angel: You need to calm down a li-

God: Give it a bum rope

**God Creating Kittens**

God: make them fluffy & adorable li...

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...

It’s a furry, cuz ducks shouldn’t be talking

What do you call a furry that got laid off and laid at the same time.

A furloughed fur load.

What's the similarity between a joke and a small, cute, furry mammal?

They both die when dissected

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A special talking koala was making his way from Australia to New York.

He wandered down a back alley one day and saw a sexy lady in heels and a short skirt smoking a cigarette.

She was shocked when he asked her for one of her cigarettes. "Omg you can talk?"

After talking she invited him inside and before she knew it he was up her skirt and performed cunni...

What do you call a furry that cant hear?

Def Leopard

A blind rabbit and a blind snake were friends. One day the blind rabbit told the blind snake that he didn’t know what he was, because he couldn’t see. So he asked the snake for help in determining what he was.

The blind snake slithered up to the blind rabbit, felt it all over and said: “You have long, furry ears and a short little tail. You must be a rabbit.”

The blind rabbit was delighted with the news, and agreed to repay the favour so that the blind snake could find out what he was.

The b...

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather.

The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind her and caught her.

"I am going to eat you for lunch," said the fox.

"Wait," replied the rabbit, "You should at least wait a few days."

"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?"

"Well, I am just finishing my thesi...

First trip to the USA

My friend and I visited the USA. We landed at LAX and after an epoch, we cleared Homeland Security and got our luggage.

My friend immediately pulled out a pair of brown, furry, shoulder length gloves and pulled them on. I stared at him. He looked ridiculous - the gloves even had claws. ...

A rabbit says to a fox, "I'm writing a dissertation on how rabbits eat foxes"

"Come on, you know that's impossible! No one will publish such rubbish." says the fox

"Well, follow me and I'll show you." They both go into the rabbit's dwelling and after a while, the rabbit emerges with a satisfied expression on his face.

Then comes a wolf. "Hello, what are we doin...

What does a furry say when having a gun pointed at them?

ONO

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A guy walks into a bar with a dog...

... The bartender looks up and says, "You can't come in here with that mutt!"

The guy says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! This ain't no ordinary dog. As a matter of fact, you should be paying for my drinks, because this dog is going to draw a crowd. It's a talking dog."

The bartender scoffs, but ...

If Dracula were a furry, what would his name be?

Nos-fur-atu

A man goes on vacation and leaves his cat with his brother

He's gone for a few days and decides that he misses his furry friend, so he calls his brother up to check on her. His brother answers the phone.

"Hey! I'm just calling to check on how Fluffy's doing without me"

His brother on the other end gets quiet before saying, "I dont know how t...

Did you hear about the Furry Convention in King’s Landing this year?

It drag-on, and on, and on.

What do you call a furry that sometimes cosplays as star wars characters?

Ani-Kin

Rabbit and Frog

One day a Rabbit and a Frog were hopping through the forest, when all of a sudden they bump into each other. They both apologise and exclaim that they are each blind. The Rabbit says that he has always been blind and doesn't actually know what he is. So the Frog said, that he has not always been...

My friend told me he is attracted to Christmas trees and people in animal costumes

He identifies as a douglas furry

Who’s the happiest person at a furry convention?

Whoever has the flamethrower!

Looking dog tired...

A three-legged dog walks into a Texas saloon, spurs clinking as he walks. His six-shooter slapping against his furry hip, he bellies up to the bar staring down the bartender and proclaims, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

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What's furry and contains cat shit?

A cat.

An man goes in for a job interview. Unfortunately, he is told that his degree and experience are not enough and he is turned away.

The man decides he's gonna get that job whatever it takes. So he first gets large round head, big furry ears and big black nose. Then, he begins to grow grey-brown and white fur all over his body and claws extend from his fingers and toes. Finally, he thinks he's ready. So clutching his eucalyptus l...

Centuries ago, on a remote island in the North Atlantic...

Vikings arrived and began a settlement with help from their Irish thralls. But they weren't alone. All manner of otherworldly beings lurked in the island's hidden corners. The Vikings called these beings *vættir*; the Gaels called them *Aes Sídhe*.

Among these beings were the selkies who frol...

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Little Johnny was in a class when his teacher told them to name a noun from each letter of the alphabet.

"Let's start with A," she said

Immediately, Little Johnny raised his hand, "Oooh teacher! Me! Me!"

Now, Little Johnny was a known troublemaker and all the teachers know that he had a more mature vocabulary than the rest. As a result, the teacher called Little Suzy instead knowing Littl...

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Koala bears are smart

A koala bear picks up a prostitute and after tries to sneak out of the motel room before the prostitute wakes up. As he opens the door, the protitute wakes up and says "where do you think you're going? You haven't paid me yet". The koala is confused and refuses to pay, so the protitute says "let's ...

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Bears in Bars in Butte, Montana

One beautiful springtime day, a bear wakes up after a long winter's sleep, smacks his lips, and decides he's going to go to town to get a beer.

Just so happens that this bear's home is nearby Butte, Montana, and he found it pretty easy to find a bar. He walks on in, takes a stool, lays his bi...

Why are there so many furry flat earthers?

Because they don't have Occam's Razor.

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

How would the Church of England deal with the statement that "the cat sat on the mat" if it appeared in the Bible?

The liberal theologians would point out that such a passage did not of course mean that the cat literally sat on the mat. Also, cat and mat had different meanings in those days from today, and anyway, the text should be interpreted according to the customs and practices of the period.

This ...

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A fly walks into a proctologist’s office

And across the desk of that proctologist the fly goes into the issues that cause him pain.

“Well, where to begin... uhhhh let’s start with my credit, I took a dive of a FICO score from 670 to 450 in the last 6 months, my boss is cracking down on these new reports that corporate wants done da...

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A Prostitute Walks Into a Bar

A prostitute walks into a bar. She spots a koala bear sitting at the end of the bar. After a little small-talk and flirting, the koala bear goes home with her. They frolic all night long. The next morning, the koala gets up and wanders towards the door.

"HEY! Where are you going?" yells the ...

What's weird, hairy, and on fire?

A furry

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