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Furry Jokes

How much does a furry suit cost?

Your dignity

The FBI was following a furry.

They were on his tail.

What does furrys and fastfood lovers have together?

They both love hot dogs

So I dated a furry once

I didnt know he was a furry at the time.

After a while, he showed me his true collars

I dated a furry once

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah

I got caught smuggling a gun to the furry convention

Security guard : *(notices bulge)* OwO what's this?!!

what do people do if a furry nearly drowns

give them furs-taid


yeah its not that good ik

What do you get when you ask a furry to build a computer?

LenOWO, with WinRAWR pre-installed.

Pacman must be a furry

Because he keeps going UWU~UWU~UWU~UWU

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was hangin' with a couple of buddies

We got really toasted & for some reason we got on the subject of porn. Weird porn. Incest porn, furry porn. Just some kinks. One of my buds pulls up a weird incest/furry porn that was really unwatchable for me. We scrolled through some thumbnails and I said "stop, go back, that one." He clicked ...

I met a furry dominatrix with an amazing sound system

You wouldn't believe how many sub woofers she has.

One furry asked another furry how she like it in bed

'Ruff', she said.

What's a furry's favorite file storage format?

.rawr

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On the sixth day

**ON THE SIXTH DAY... **

**God Creating Spiders**

God: Make it have 8 legs

Angel: Seems excessive but OK

God: And 8 eyes

Angel: You need to calm down a li-

God: Give it a bum rope

**God Creating Kittens**

God: make them fluffy & adorable li...

What did the furry spider say to its crush?

oOOowoOOo

So I read on a website to "treat your furry friend once a week."

So I bought him two tickets to Zootopia.

I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...

Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happens when a furry takes over nazi germany?

The Furred reich

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...

It’s a furry, cuz ducks shouldn’t be talking

[NSFW] What do you call a submissive Furry?

A subwoofer

What's a furry's favorite line from Bohemian Rhapsody?

Mamaaaaa, OwO

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather.

The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind her and caught her.

"I am going to eat you for lunch," said the fox.

"Wait," replied the rabbit, "You should at least wait a few days."

"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?"

"Well, I am just finishing my thesi...

If you’re a furry, and get turned on by chickens

Are you a Hen-Thigh enthusiast?

What’s it called when a furry says they’re sorry?

An anthropology.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I spent time researching porn on the internet and learned I am a furry...

When I was deep in a rabbit hole.

What's the similarity between a joke and a small, cute, furry mammal?

They both die when dissected

What do you call a furry hip hop group?

The Uwu-Tang Clan

If Dracula were a furry, what would his name be?

Nos-fur-atu

What kind of car does a furry drive?

A subuwu

My furry friend told me his strange fetish of being vored by a squirrel.

Told him he's gotta be nuts

What do you call an All-Furry Streaming Service?

hUwU

What's a furry's favourite board game?

Trivial Fursuit

There are two wolves inside you.

You are in the dark room at a furry convention.

I went on a date last night and I knew the girl was a little kinky but then she showed me the furry outfit she wanted me to wear...

It gave me paws.

What is the common phrase of a saddened Furry?

0w0 is me…

If you get banned from a furry convention

You will be fursona non grata

A woman and her husband are driving down the highway, when all of a sudden - splat - they've hit something furry

The woman pulls over, gets out and looks behind the car. A little bunny is squashed on the side of the road. The man, coming up behind him, says "Oh poor little guy."

"It's OK," says the woman, "I've got just the thing." She goes back, rummages in her handbag, and comes back with a spray can....

A blind rabbit and a blind snake were friends. One day the blind rabbit told the blind snake that he didn’t know what he was, because he couldn’t see. So he asked the snake for help in determining what he was.

The blind snake slithered up to the blind rabbit, felt it all over and said: “You have long, furry ears and a short little tail. You must be a rabbit.”

The blind rabbit was delighted with the news, and agreed to repay the favour so that the blind snake could find out what he was.

The b...

Q: Why are baby otters born furry?

A: The mother pre-furs them that way.

[Came up with this while nursing today's hangover, lol. My brain is now done for the day.]

What does a furry reads to know his future ?

An owoscope

What did the furry cowboy say when he was excited?

“Yiffy-ki-yay!”

What would you call an insect version of a furry?

Creepy

What does a furry say when having a gun pointed at them?

ONO

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As you know, last year's Furrycon got out of hand. This year, I'm cracking down. Zero furry porn, and figure-hugging fursuits that are tight against the buttocks will not be allowed. This rule is 100% non-negotiable.

No yiffs, no butts.

What do you call a furry that sometimes cosplays as star wars characters?

Ani-Kin

First trip to the USA

My friend and I visited the USA. We landed at LAX and after an epoch, we cleared Homeland Security and got our luggage.

My friend immediately pulled out a pair of brown, furry, shoulder length gloves and pulled them on. I stared at him. He looked ridiculous - the gloves even had claws. ...

What is the difference between a furry and a person selling extended auto warranties?

Furries never bothered anyone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's furry and contains cat shit?

A cat.

Why are there so many furry flat earthers?

Because they don't have Occam's Razor.

Did you hear about the Furry Convention in King’s Landing this year?

It drag-on, and on, and on.

What do you call a furry that got laid off and laid at the same time.

A furloughed fur load.

My friend told me he is attracted to Christmas trees and people in animal costumes

He identifies as a douglas furry

I walked in on my son making out with his girlfriend. "Oh, woah, what's this?" I asked. He's been avoiding me ever since...

... and keeps mumbling something about me being a "furry"

What do you call a furry that cant hear?

Def Leopard

What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?

A McFurry

What do you call an all panda furry orgy?

Panda-moan-ium

I have green skin, a nose three times the size of the horn on my head, four brown teeth and my neck is covered in furry scales... what am I?

Ugly!

A family go to the zoo

They're excited to see all the exotic animals, birds & reptiles. The first enclosure is empty, totally deserted. Unperturbed they carry on to the next one.. again it's empty!
Every single enclosure, cage, run and avery they encounter is empty, deserted and unkempt..

Except, right besi...

After entering what appeared to be a whole new world I witnessed incredible things - a man-beast union composed of a human top and goat bottom, a queen who wore a gown made of icicles, a huge furry lion who ruled over it all.

Eventually though I decided to go home. I came out of the closet and told my parents of the adventures I'd had. They're very closed minded though - they said it was perverted and sent me to conversion therapy.

“Going down the rabbit hole” is an expression meaning to enter into a strange or complicated situation,

And also to a person exploring their new furry kink.

A three-legged old west dog walks into a saloon

his spurs clinking as he walks, his six-shooter slapping at his furry hip.

He bellies up to the bar, stares down the bartender, and proclaims,

"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock 2021

“Knock knock”
“Get tf outta here I can see you on my ring doorbell. I told you last week that I’m not into that shit”
“You can’t deny the chemistry we had last week” replied the guy in the furry perry the platypus costume

There is an app called Monstr for finding the supernatural date of your dreams

Apparently it came out after the release of the Twilight franchise caused a spike in the popularity of mythical beings as romantic partners.

A friend of mine, I'll call her Bella for privacy, was on the app for a bit and her first match was a Lycanthrope. They went for a long walk and afterw...

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The No Poo Kangaroo

You know how you can buy booze cheap at the airport in foreign countries? Well this world traveler told me that some airports also sell exotic animals. He was in Australia recently and decided to buy the cutest kangaroo. He took it home and a few weeks later noticed that his furry friend hadn't p...

My sister came out as a furry

Let's just say she's purrrrrfect... for being hunted

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a dog fucker in McDonalds?

A McFurry

Who’s the happiest person at a furry convention?

Whoever has the flamethrower!

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