UPJOKE
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After years of empty promises about "buckling down and flying right,"...

.. Greece has finally set the place on fire for the insurance money.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun, and one brought nothing but a few cough drops.

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobweb...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW the grossest joke I’ve ever heard

College girl is home for the weekend and asks her Dad “hey, can I use the car tonight?”

He says no, and reminds her that the last time she borrowed it she didn’t put any gas in and she scuffed the bumper. Despite her pleas and promises, the Dad steadfastly refuses to lend her the car. Since s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is in a coma...

Desperate for ways to wake her up, the husband frantically asks the hospital staff what can be done. No one had an answer. Later that night as he sit by her side, a nurse from earlier in day is finishing her shift and pops in the room to give some last minute advice. "You know, it may not help, but ...

An old couple celebrate their 50th anniversary at a restaurant...

...that they used to regularly go on dates to. It was a particularly fancy establishment and a few drinks into their visit, the elderly husband stood from his seat, looks around and asks his wife, "Do you think we should go behind this place and relive our first time here, like against the fences?"<...

Selling the Farm

A farmer and his wife decide to sell their land and move to Florida to retire.

A prospective buyer comes by and likes the place, but there's a problem: He's deathly afraid of bees and, on a tour of the property, he noticed a lot of them.

The farmer says, "There's always been bees arou...

The Parrot Joke.

!Okay, so, this single fellow in his mid forties has a parrot. He just recently acquired his new feathered friend at the local aviary. However recently the creature has been acting strange. It swears endlessly all day. The man does not swear around the bird and can't understand where it picked u...

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