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Velcro Jokes

The guy who invented Velcro died

RIP

I paid way too much money for these Velcro pants

What a ripoff

The guy who invented velcro shoes thought to himself

'Why knot?'

Velcro

Such a rip-off

I'm thinking of buying some Velcro strips for my sneakers, and getting rid of the laces.

I mean, why knot?

What’s Helen Keller’s favorite color?

Velcro?

I tried Velcro today.

Now I'm totally hooked.

What does Fallout 76 and gold plated velcro have in common?

They’re both $70 rip off’s

Never trust Velcro shoes

They’re a real rip off

My Jobs—

I became a Velcro salesman, but I couldn't stick with it. I tried my hand at a career in tennis, but it wasn't my racket—I was too high strung. I was a masseur for a while, but I rubbed people the wrong way. I got a job at a pool company, but the work was too draining. I was a historian, but I could...

You should never buy anything with Velcro

It’s a total ripoff

My goal for next year is to save enough money to make myself a Velcro wall.

And I plan on sticking to it.

A thread of all the best jokes Siri has ever told me.

One day I was looking for creative task avoidance tactics, so I asked Siri to tell me a joke. Here are some of the best she had:

1. Whiteboards are quite remarkable.

2. Pavlov’s hair wasn’t always so silky. He had to condition it.

3. Did you hear about the band called 1023MB? Th...

Velcro is an item of horrible value

It's a rip-off!

What did the Velcro inventor’s grave say?

RIP

What do you call a Velcro sanitary towel?

A bloody rip off.

Why do people keep buying velcro?

It's such a ripoff.

Velcro is the original hook and loop fastener...

Imitations of it are just rip-offs.

TIL the French flag is traditionally made with Velcro

So they could remove the red and blue bits in times of war

What do you call two crows stuck together?

Velcro

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I work with a Japanese man, and he only wears shoes that do up with velcro.

I'm really starting to think he might be a lacist.

How do u stop a black person from jumping on the bed

Put Velcro on the roof

Montana has the best lovers

My favorite jokes about the insane amount of sheep loving that occurs in Montana from when I grew up:

1. What is the hottest selling clothing accessory in Montana? Velcro gloves. *wpsh* *wpsh* *BAaaAah*


2. Why do the mountain men always make love to the sheep on the edge of a clif...

What kind of birds stick together?

Velcros

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the best selling sex toy in all of Wales?

A pair of velcro gloves.

Guys, I'm not saying that Flat Earthers, Anti-Vaxxers, and Creationists are unintelligent people but...

there is a reason why shoes with Velcro straps come in adult size.

A short guide to extreme BDSM

Some couples like what they have. Others want to experiment. This is a quick and simple (and dirty) tutorial for some extreme [BDSM](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM) play in a young couple's bedroom.

As far as special equipment goes... well, it'll become obvious as you read.

Step ze...

My friend the sheep herder had his bachelor party.

He was so happy I gave him velcro gloves.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you stop black kids bouncing on their beds?

Velcro the ceiling

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Grandpa told me this joke when I was 16... It took me a few years to understand it.

How do you get a black man to stop jumping on the bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.

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