I saw a stand-up comic doing jokes about botany. Nobody in the audience laughed except one guy.

I looked at him and thought "you're a plant".

Tony did all he could to avoid maths & decided to study Botany.

He later became famous for discovering that discarded tree trunks emit a regular pattern of sounds & is now focused on calculating the sounds.

After avoiding maths, he still ended up in a career solving Log rhythms

I know someone who faked his degree in botany.

He wrote his thesis on artificial Christmas trees.

Pretty sure it's original, very rough edges type joke. Input welcome.

A man decides to open his own Plant Nursery. After a few months his business starts going under so he goes to apply for a loan
The loan officer goes to the place of business and asks a couple questions
"sir do you have a background in the study of plants?"
"No, I just got this company on a ...

My uneducated neigbor was planning to grow a flowerbed in his backyard

But then he realised he can't plant flowers as he hadn't botany

You can’t plant flowers...

...if you haven’t botany.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am getting around to writing my essay on herbs for my botany class...

It's about thyme

While you're at someone's house, it's pretty easy to tell if they like plants.

Just look around and see if they botany.

Boll weevils are detrimental to cotton crops. If you had to have boll weevils on your farm, which do you want, a big weevil or a little weevil?

The little weevil, because you always want the *lesser of two weevils.*



My botany professor just told us this.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple are discussing starting a garden

"You know, I really love the roses and chrysanthemums," remarked the wife. "Maybe I'll start by planting those."

"Oh sure, why not," replied the husband. "Hey, let's start doing that now! It's a beautiful Saturday morning and we don't have anything else to do."

"Alright, let me just ru...

I was going to give my friend books of jokes on the anatomy of plants

But I haven’t botany yet

I would have really liked to study plants in college...

but my university hadn’t botany.

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