I saw a stand-up comic doing jokes about botany. Nobody in the audience laughed except one guy.

I looked at him and thought "you're a plant".

I know someone who faked his degree in botany.

He wrote his thesis on artificial Christmas trees.

Its not possible to plant flowers

If you haven't botany

What did the recently-retired, yet still creative, former pirate major in, while attending his local community college's adult oriented night school's "Pheonix" program?

Botany

My uneducated neigbor was planning to grow a flowerbed in his backyard

But then he realised he can't plant flowers as he hadn't botany

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am getting around to writing my essay on herbs for my botany class...

It's about thyme

While you're at someone's house, it's pretty easy to tell if they like plants.

Just look around and see if they botany.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple are discussing starting a garden

"You know, I really love the roses and chrysanthemums," remarked the wife. "Maybe I'll start by planting those."

"Oh sure, why not," replied the husband. "Hey, let's start doing that now! It's a beautiful Saturday morning and we don't have anything else to do."

"Alright, let me just ru...

Boll weevils are detrimental to cotton crops. If you had to have boll weevils on your farm, which do you want, a big weevil or a little weevil?

The little weevil, because you always want the *lesser of two weevils.*



My botany professor just told us this.

I was going to give my friend books of jokes on the anatomy of plants

But I haven’t botany yet

I would have really liked to study plants in college...

but my university hadn’t botany.

I was going to bring everyone on reddit some cool plants

but unfortunately, I never botany

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