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Little Brother Jokes

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My little brother wanted to be treated like a prince...

...So I slit his throat while he was sleeping to ensure he didn't lay claim to my crown.

Little brother told me this joke, genius.

"Why did Beethoven kill his pet chicken?"
-why
"Because it kept saying "bok bok bok"

One of my favorite jokes from my little brother

Him: Knock knock

Me: Who's there?

Him: Mosq

Me: Mosq who?

Him: MOSQUITOOO!!

Him: Knock knock

Me: Who's there?

Him: Anada

Me: Anada who?

Him: Anada MOSQUITOOO!!

Him: Knock knock

Me: Who's there?

Him: Yet

Me: ...

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My little brother asked me about safe sex

I told him that it's dangerous, fucked up, and that he should just have sex with people instead.

Two little brothers were fighting and arguing...

The first one says: Well, you were adopted!

The second one replied: Well, at least they wanted me!

I caught my little brother...

I caught my little brother sniffing my girlfriend's panties today.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that I had been wearing them all week.

One from my little brother

My little brother and I were playing on the Xbox the other day and our game was really slow so he said, “why don’t we get it some shoes so it can run faster.”

Sorry

I got my little brother a Cisformer for his birthday

It's like a transformer, but it starts out as a car and stays that way

My mom kicked me out the house for tickling my little brothers feet

I knew I should’ve waited until he was born

My Mom got mad at me for tickling my little brother's feet...

She was all like "Wait until he's born"

Elise heard her little brother sniffling in the next room, so she went over and asked him what was wrong.

“I’m just having a bit of a cry sis,” he said.

My little brother is throwing a tantrum because we aren’t having German sausages for dinner

He’s being such a brat

Joke my little brother made up

What is a dead man's favorite food? Biscuits and gravy.

My little brother just threw a milk carton at me,

How dairy.

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Here’s a joke my little brother told me.

A man find out his wife of 3 years has been cheating on him so he hires an assassin to take her and her side piece out. The assassin agrees to the job no questions asked but let’s the man know that each bullet will cost him 5 grand but he never misses. The husband just wants his wife dead and agrees...

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A sixth grade boy named Timmy was in charge of taking his little brother to school..

A sixth grade boy named Timmy was in charge of taking his little brother to school for the first day of kindergarten. As Timmy got on the school bus, the bus driver stopped Timmy and said, "Timmy, who's that?" while pointing at his little brother.

"That's my little brother," said Timmy qui...

Got a PS5 for my little brother.

Best trade I've ever done!

Boy: Mommy! I don't like my little brother!

Mom: Shut up and keep eating.

My little brother won a goldfish at the local fair. Sadly, the next morning he was floating dead in his little pond.

So now I have to look after the fish.

My little brother told me this one

“Why do ducks have feathers?” He says grinning through his teeth

“Why?”


“To cover there But-Quacks!” He says absolutely dyeing

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I dont own this joke. But i havent forgotten about it for five years.

Son: "Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?"

Father: "Sure son. What's the question?"

Son: "What is Politics?"

Father: "Well, let's take our home for an example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me "Capitalism". your mother is the administra...

Because it's my Cake Day, I'll tell you a cake joke my little brother (10) told me

It's a Dutch joke but I'll try to explain

So I had made a cake recently, and it just stood there on the table. So my little brother comes up to me and says; 'Kijk daar!' (Look over there) while pointing at the cake. So when I looked at it he says; 'haha je keek' (haha you looked)


<...

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The day before our family holiday my little brother locked himself in his bedroom.

I was worried, so I asked him what he was doing.



He said, "I'm packing."



"Fuck off," I replied. "It's only about four inches."

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The dirtiest joke my Grandma ever told me.

A mother puts her two sons to bed, before they fall asleep.

The older brother tells his little brother, "I think it's time we started cussing."

The younger brother asks, "Well what are you going to say?"

The older brother responds, "I'll say, Hell."

The younger brother sa...

My little brother likes sirens so we took him to the police station to see some.

They tied him to a mast and set him asail the Aegean Sea.

I came home to find my little brother putting cake frosting on his elbow.

When I asked him why he said, "I told mom that my elbow hurt and she asked me if I tried icing it".

My little brother just said my IQ is 0 and that he is 300,000 times smarter than me

300,000×0 = 0

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Tommy was 4 when his little brother was born. Tommy was pissed.

His life was suddenly turned upside down. Everyone was too busy doting on little Timmy to notice him anymore, everyone was like "Timmy this, Timmy that, Timmy's the best kid ever". Even his parents seemed to have forgotten about him. Tommy began to go deep into depression, but nobody seemed to care,...

OC joke : Why doesn't anyone notice Thor's little brother?

Because he's low key...

Every year my uncle dresses as Santa Clause for me and my little brother.

Santa is coming really means something different in our family.

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An Irish Daughter...

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cursed her.
Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad.....

My little brother swallowed a coin and was to taken to the hospital

When I asked how he is doing, the nurse said "No change yet!"

My mom was telling my little brother about the food she ordered....

she said it had a middle eastern flavor to it. I then said said “He doesn’t even know what that means!” To which he replied, “Yes I do, it just means there’s a bomb in it.”

In a neighbourhood there were two little brothers, Jim and Jake...

Jim was 12, and Jake was 9, and they were two little devils.

They ran around stealing stuff from the neighbours, and whenever something went missing on the neighbourhood, everyone knew it was their fault.

One day, after they stole somethign yet again, their mother said: "I'm done with ...

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2 little brothers wanted to make mommy mad.

Little Kyle is 4 years old and his brother Timmy is 3.
Kyle says "Hey, Timmy. Want to make mommy mad?"
"Sure! How?" Timmy says.
Kyle tells him "We gotta say a bad word, I'll say a 4 letter word since I'm 4. You have to say one that's 3 letters."
"OK! This sounds like fun!" said Timmy....

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Three year old and five year old little brothers talking about how they can feel grown up....

The oldest boy says, “I know, we’ll say cuss words.”

First, 3 year old says “I know what I’ll do—I’ll say ‘fuckin’.”

The eldest responds, “I know what I’ll say. You bet your sweet ass.”

They go down stairs for breakfast, and the bright eyed mother says “what do my sweet little b...

My little brother jumped out the window when I told him a cannibal clown was coming upstairs to feast on his flesh.

I can’t believe he fell for It.

My little brother is extremely proud of this joke. What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

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Billy and his girlfriend wanted to fool around in bed, but Billy's little brother was asleep in the bottom bunk...

Billy said, "Let's use a code, so if little Johnny wakes up, he doesn't know what's going on. If you want me to go harder, say 'Tomato,' and if you want me to go faster, say 'Lettuce.'"
So Billy and his girlfriend started having sex. Billy's girlfriend started moaning, "Lettuce.... Tomato...." An...

So a girl is stuck babysitting her little brother...

When she finally gets him to bed on the bottom bunk of his bunk-bed, she decides to invite her boyfriend over so that they can have a little fun together. To avoid her parents walking in on her, she takes her boyfriend and they get up on the top bunk of her little brothers bed, being careful to not ...

My parents just told me they’d love another child. I said, “I’d love a little brother or sister!”

They said, “That’s not what we meant.”

When my little brother was born, he was named Ugliest Baby In The Hospital

I don't know why my parents would name him that. We call him Ubith for short.

My little brother (5) told me a joke that I kind of had to share.

¨Hey, sis?¨

¨Yeah?¨

¨Can I tell you this new joke I learned?¨

¨Sure, go for it!¨

¨Knock, knock!¨

¨Who is there?¨

¨Knock knock..!¨

¨Who is there?¨

And that continued for about 2 more times. Until he asked me to come closer and whispered in my ea...

My little brother told me that onions and garlic are the only foods that make you cry

But why did he cry when i threw the coconut at his head?

My little brother has just been talked into smoking by the French exchange student at our house.

Talk about Pierre-pressure

Back in the 60s,my little brother thought he could communicate with the trees and i used to think he had some mental issues...

That is until i was drafted to Vietnam

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My little brother made this joke up when he was about 10: Although Japanese people used to wear kimonos...

Nowadays you often see them wearing Ja-pants.

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Why girls don't have willys

Little brother came into the kitchen and declared "mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow"

We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting

They caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his funeral.

“Mommy, why did you name me rose?”

“Because when you were born and we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your head. So we names you rose.”

“Is that why little brother is named leaf?”

“Yes, it is”

“Blaaaarghhhh-ddsdbbbb-beeebbbleeee”

“Shut up brick”

My family and I went to a funeral today. Everyone was weeping and crying except my little brother.

He was dead silent.

My mum had an argument with me last night.

She told me to stop tickling my little brothers feet.

Her exact words were... "Stop it, wait until he's born"

Fred and Mary got married

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent'shome for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up...

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Stealing my little brother's (fellow Redditor) original joke, hope he sees it and is pissed. What do you get when you cross a pig and a Christmas tree...?

A Porky-Pine

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Political joke

A boy asks his father:

What is politics?

Father answers:

It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business . Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.

Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law...

They didn’t remove the right one.

Request: Little brother was just diagnosed with testicular cancer. Lefty is a goner, but as the older brother, I feel the obligation to have some good jokes ready to help him feel better. Unfortunately the title is as good as funny as I get, so please help a brother out. Thanks.
Edit he’s in his ...

Little Jhonny was an only child.

After hearing from his friends that had younger siblings how fun it was to take care, play, and sometimes pick on them, he got extremely jealous and began to wish very badly for a little brother. So everyday he would beg his parents for them to have another baby. His parents, however, really didn't ...

A girl runs up to her mother.

"Mummy, why am I named Feather?"
"Because when you were newborn a feather came falling from the sky and landed on your forehead."

Next day the little brother comes running.

"Mummy, why am I named Leaf?"
"Because when you were newborn a leaf came falling from the sky and lande...

There is only one mom

At school, the children were given the topic "There is only one mom" for their homework.

On the second day at school, Daisy reads her homework:

*My mom is good, she takes care of us, looks after us. There is only one such mother.*

Frank reads the homework:

*No mom is as g...

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The young son asks the father what politics is

The young son asks the father what politics is. The father says, "Let's take our family, for example. I bring the money home, so we call me capitalism. Your mother manages the money, so we call her the government. We both look after your welfare almost exclusively, so you are the people. Our maid is...

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