UPJOKE
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I once told someone I had a half brother

They said “Oh different mother or different father?” And I said “Niether, there was a shark attack”

I have a half brother.

From mother or father?
No, chainsaws.

I have two half brothers

and a chainsaw.
AI Image Generator

Who is 6ix9ine's half brother?

3hree4our.5ive

Why didn't Kim Jong Un cry when he heard his half brother, Kim Jong Nam, had been killed?

Because the news was unbereaveable.

An elementary school teacher was meeting her new class

She pointed to one student and asked "What does your father do for a living?"

The boy said "My father's a magician! He has a new act that ends with sawing people in half."

"That's wonderful!" said the teacher. "And do you have any siblings?"

"Yes," said the boy- "I have a half...

Streamer: I had two and a half people watching me live, and they were all family.

Friend: where’d the half come from?
Streamer: my half brother

Whats you father's occupation?

Asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year. "He's a magician," said the small boy. "How interesting! What's his favorite trick? "Sawing people in half." "Really? Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?' "Yes, one half brother and two half-sisters."

My brother was recently involved in a chainsaw accident.

Now, my only remaining family is my two half brothers.

Susie Lee Done Fell In Love

Susie Lee done fell in love;
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy ’bout it all
She told her Pappy so.

Pappy told her, “Susie gal,
You’ll have to find another.
I’d just as soon yo’ Ma don’t know,
But Joe is yo’ half brother.”

So Su...

An old woman passed away. Her 25 children attended the funeral.

The priest spoke of her extraordinary life.

“She married John and they had had 13 children before he passed. Then she remarried. She and her beloved Richard had 7 children. But he sadly died as well. But she married again and had 5 children with Michael. Now she is at rest. Thank you, Lord f...

We went to a lumbering museum recently...

The guide, a former lumberjack, described work with a pit saw as very dangerous. "If you don't believe me," he said, "go ask my half brother!"

So, what's your profession again?

"Well", answered the man, "I'm a magician!"

"A Magician? What type of Magician?"

"It's a family business and I do the sawing down!"

"Family business? So do you have siblings?"

"Yes, two half brothers"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Wasp

There once was a wasp, he wasn't very happy with his life in the hive. One day he decided to go back to high school. After his senior year he graduated with flying colours, a 4.0 GPA, honours with distinction and 4 scholarships. After high school he applies to Harvard. Of course, he gets accepted an...

So, did you hear about the teacher ...

... who was discussing different jobs held by parents.

When she called on Little Johnny, she asked, “And what does your father do?”
“Oh, he’s a magician,” replied Johnny.
“Really? What’s his best trick?”
“His best trick is sawing people in half.”
“Wonderful!” exclaimed the...

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