My joke about negligence in the postal service isn't bad
but the delivery is messed up
Working at the post office, I’m used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, “What’s the trouble?”
“I went out this morning,” she began, “and when I came home, I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but...
What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the empire state building?
Nothing if you're a gorilla.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Experience and wisdom can't be beaten
Due to his owner's negligence, an old dog became lost in the deepest jungles of Africa.
Wandering around, the poor old dog notices a leopard coming rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
Just then, the old dog noticed some bones laying on the ground close by. ...
I heard a story once about an American train driver.
He was operating a late night train and feel asleep at the controls. He ended up failing to recognize a stop sign and as a result his train hit a person and killed them immediately. He was tried for manslaughter and sentenced to the electric chair. Just before being put in the chair, he was given th...
A guy goes to stay at a cheap hotel.
He orders a 5 AM wake up call for the next day.
Next day, the phone doesn't ring till 5:30AM.
He calls reception and complains about it saying that if he had a million dollar deal, he would've lost it due to their negligence.
The receptionist says that if he had a million dollar...
As a young boy, Joe was completely obsessed with tractors.
He had pictures of tractors all over his bedroom walls; he had tractor toys, tractor T-shirts, a tractor carpet, and duvet cover, the whole works. He ate, drank and slept tractors.
On his 17th birthday he was thrilled to get an invitation to go to a tractor factory nearby and test-drive ...
A man passed a shop,where he saw a sign, "Magic Vulture for Sale"
Curious, the man walked into the shop and asked about the bird.
The salesman replied, "This vulture has special powers. Whenever you go shopping, bring it along, and the cashier will give you 90% off!"
"Really? How much does it cost?"
"A million dollars."
The man balked a...
Twenty-five years, and I never killed a single person until a few months ago. Now I'm on death row for multiple charges: manslaughter, murder, negligence.
After the first, I thought it was over. I thought nothing of the fact that the Sheriff warned me I would be sentenced to death if it happe...
I found a good dad joke
Dad: knock, knock.
Son: who's there?
Son: umm? Negligence who?