Wife: “You keep on finding ways to avoid taking responsibility for your wrongdoing.”
Me: “I’m truly sorry that you feel this way.”
What do you call Chewbacca's wrongdoings?
Wookie mistakes
I listened to a speech from Trump this morning apologizing for his wrongdoings and taking responsibility...
That was the weirdest dream ever, man.
A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar...
The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. Later, a D comes ...
A construction contractor buys a 10 foot Italian submarine sandwich to feed his crew
It gets delivered a little early, so he sets it out on a table and goes back to finish up the morning's work. By the time him and his crew get back to it, though, there's something wrong. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot san...
A man goes into a confession booth in Germany...
He says "Please forgive me father for I have sinned." The priest responded, "What is your sin my child?" The man replies "During WWII I took in a Jewish man and hid him in my attic." The priest then exclaims, "Good sir, that is not a sin at all. That was a righteous burden you took upon ...
A farmer’s wife had an affair with a Maple Tree.
A farmer’s wife had an affair with a Maple tree. She was ashamed of her actions but her husband was always so busy with his farm work and rarely had time to tend to her needs. Once she became pregnant, the farmer had his suspicions, but after the baby was born, he was all but convinced the child was...
My English teacher asked me what I knew about syntax.
"I never knew part of my earnings were dedicated to wrongdoings."
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A group of prisoners is in their rehabilitation meeting.
Their task for the day is to each stand up in turn, speak his name and admit to his fellow inmates what crime he has committed.
The first prisoner stands and says, "My name is Daniel and I’m in for murder!" Everyone gives him approving look and pats him on the back for admitting his wrongdoi...
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