Boy Scout Jokes - 61 Hilarious Boy Scout Jokes

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a guy who fixes bicycle horns?

One's motto is 'Be Prepared', the other's is 'Beep Repaired'

EDIT:I reached r/all, I promised a friend of mine that I would stop calling his mom hot if I reached all.

He sends his regards...

Boy Scout

A boy scout was walking around a pond when all of a sudden a frog jumped out in front of him,"Kiss me and I'll turn into a beautiful princess!" The boy thought about it for a moment then picked the frog up, put it in his pocket, and continued walking. The frog jumped back out of the boy's pocket "Wh...

Boy scout: Sir, I found a snake, is it poisonous?

Me: No little one, this snake isn't poisonous at all

*Snake bites boy and boy immediately starts to spasm and foam at the mouth, leaving the other kids watching, horrified*

Me: However, this snake is venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. L...

A famous physicist, an old man, and a boy scout are taking a tourist flight in a small plane.

A famous physicist, an old man, and a boy scout are taking a tourist flight in a small plane. After they reach cruising altitude, the pilot suddenly has a heart attack. His last words before he dies are, "There are two parachutes over there ... good luck."

Before they can even talk about how...

When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout?

When he eats his first brownie.

The Boy Scouts just added a level after Eagle

Plaintiff

Why does nobody like playing FPS games with Boy Scouts?

Because they're good at camping.

(Credit goes to the Scout's Life magazine I got today for making one of the worst scout jokes I've ever seen.)

What do you call a boy scout lost in the woods?

A bear trap.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde a Catholic and a Boy Scout

So a blonde going on vacation, and a Boy Scout on his way to retreat with his father get on a small aircraft with the pilot who is an old and devout catholic.

The pilot sees the Boy Scout is shouldering a large pack and takes it from him, laying it near the door. They all take their seats an...

A scout master and a Boy Scout are walking in to the woods

The sun is setting and the Boy Scout looks up and says, “it’s starting to get dark, I’m scared.” The scout master responds “you think you’re scared? I have to walk out of here alone”

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You hear the one about the incontinent boy scout?

Shits intense.

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Call of Duty is like the Boy Scouts,

everyone's gay, and there's a lot of camping.

A Boy Scout decided to start a business fixing horns on cars and trucks…

He called it "Beep Repaired."

Some boy scouts are sitting around a campfire...

Some boy scouts are sitting around a camp fire and begin to tell some jokes. The first one lets out a chuckle and says, "13". The rest of the scouts chuckle and another says, "Heh, 6". This gets a good laugh from most of them and a third replies with "8". At this point they are at the point of tears...

My son was worried about going to a Boy Scouts meeting for the first time...

I told him he had knotting to worry about.

An American, A Canadian and a Boy scout are on a plane.

The plane hits turbulence and is about to crash.

the pilot comes out and says "The plane is going down. Everyone for himself!" grabs one of the remaining 3 parachutes and jumps out.

The American says. "We're number 1 so i get to live" hastily grabs 1 of the 2 remaining chutes and jumps...

How are socks like Boy Scouts?

They always come pre-paired.

A Genius, an Old Farmer, and a Boy Scout are on a plane...

...The pilot enters the cabin and says, "I'm terribly sorry. I've done everything I can, but the plane is falling and going to crash. Now, there are only 3 parachutes on this plane. I've got a wife at home with 2 young kids and another on the way, so I'm going to use one of them." He then picks up a...

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The Medicrin Story - taken from a Boy Scouting website

Long ago, before Gamecubes, before Playstations, even before Atari, there were nasty, vile monsters roaming the land. In those days, a few brave, strong men made their living by protecting common people from these beasts. This is a story about one such man named Erik and the adventure he had.
...

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Two travellers a boy scout and a priest are on a crashing plane...

The first traveller tells the second: there's only one parachute, the boy scout is the youngest he should take it.

The second traveller replies: Nah fuck him.

The priest asks: Do you think we have time?

What do you get if you combine a monster and a boy scout?

A monster that can scare old ladies across the street!

Why are Boy Scouts annoying to play video games with?

Because they’re good at camping!

How many boy scouts does take to change a lightbulb?

One. But it takes a few days, because he only gives it a good turn daily.

I'm going to sabotage the winners' tents in the next boy scouts competition...

I'll knock them down a peg or two

Why did the gamer refuse to join the Boy Scouts?

He hates camping

My son went on a camping adventure with the Boy Scouts group

He told me it was in tents.

The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles as a fund raiser. One ambitious but nervous young man knocked on a door and a sour-faced woman came to the door:

She: "What do you want, Sonny?"

He: "D-d-do you have any beer bottles for the Boy Scouts, M-m-m-ma'am?"

She: "Well! Do I look like the kind of lady who would drink beer?"

He: "S-s-sorry, Ma'am ... W-w-what about vinegar bottles?"

Pixar movies over the years

What if toys had feelings?

What if bugs had feelings?

What if monsters had feelings?

What if fish had feelings?

What if superheroes had feelings?

What if cars had feelings?

What if rats had feelings?

What if robots hadd feelings?

What if boy s...

What’s the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew?

One comes back from camp

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Barack Obama, the Pope, Hilary Clinton and a boy scout are on a plane...

The plane is about to crash when they realize there are only 3 parachutes.

The first passenger, President Obama said “I am the president of the United States, as much as it will haunt me for the rest of my life, I must insist I take a parachute. I have a great responsibility, being the leader...

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Little Johnny was out selling apples raising money for his boy scout troop...

He's going door to door in an apartment complex and he knocks on one of the doors.

The door opens and there is standing the most stunning woman Johnny has ever seen completely naked.

Johnny stammers out "Good day lady. Would you like to buy some apples?"

The woman grabs Johnny ...

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A priest, rabbi, lawyer, and boy scouts were on an airplane.

The airplane is going down. There are only enough parachutes for a few of them.

The rabbi says, 'I'm an old man. We should give the parachutes to the boy scouts. Save them."

The lawyer responds, "What?! FUCK THE BOY SCOUTS!"

The priest quickly checks his watch, "DO WE HAVE TIME!...

The President, the First Lady, a boy scout and a pilot are on a plane.

(Not sure if this one has been submitted already)

Suddenly, a bird gets stuck in one of the engines, causing it to burst into flames. The pilot tells the passengers that the plane will crash, but there are only 3 parachutes on the plane.

The president grabs one and says, "I am the most...

I would never want to join the Boy Scouts of America

They’re just a bunch of BS

The Boy Scouts came up with the strongest knot in the world...

You just leave a pair of earbuds in your pocket while you're hiking.

A Supermodel, A Boy Scout, And The Smartest Man In The World

A supermodel, a boy scout, and the smartest man in the world are on a plane together. There is an engine malfunction and the plane begins to plummet towards the Earth far below. Everybody (including the pilot), is able to bail except the three mentioned, as there are only two parachutes left between...

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A business man, a boy scout, and a priest are on a plane...

The plane's engines start failing and the pilot comes back to see his oddly diverse crew.

"Sorry, guys, but the plane's going down and there are only three parachutes. I call one, cause it's my plane. Shut up, I can do that. You guys can decide what to do with the last two."

The pri...

Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, the Pope, and a boy scout are on a plane losing altitude and there are only 3 parachutes...

Vladimir Putin jumps up and declares, “I am the smartest Russian in the world! My people need me! I will not die here!” Then he grabs a parachute and jumps out the plane before anyone can say anything in response.

Watching intently and taking notes the entire time Putin was speaking Donald T...

What do Boy Scouts and bondage fetishists have in common?

Knot a lot.

I heard they're letting girls join the boy scouts now.

They're going to help the boys pitch a tent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An officer, a lawyer, a priest and three boy scouts are on a plane tumbling from the sky. They only have three parachutes.

The officer says "save the boys they have their whole lives ahead of them!" The lawyer says "fuck the boys I want to live!" The priest says "when do we start?"

The Captain's Drink

Captain Hook, Captain Crunch, and Captain America walk into a bar.
Hook says, "Ahoy mates, I'll buy the first round. Just let me go to the bathroom real quick."
The others wait and when Hook comes back Captain America asks, "Hey Hook, how bout those drinks?"
Hook yells, "Shove it up yer sta...

Smartest Man in the World

An old priest, a boy scout, the President, Bill Gates and the smartest man in the world are traveling in an airplane together.

Without warning, the engines fail and the plane starts plummeting towards the earth. There is one problem: the plane is loaded with only 5 parachutes. Someone will h...

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My Mom said I should marry the first person I had sex with [nsfw]

I said "Mom, nobody wants to marry their Boy Scout Troop Leader"

Three vampires are competing at who can drink the most blood

They decide to meet in an hour and see who drank the most. An hour passes and they meet. The first vampire's face is bloody. The second vampire is even bloodier, his hands are bloody aswell. But the third one won: the blood is dripping down his face and his shirt is coverred in it, and so are his ha...

A joke my Priest told at church on Sunday

Three men were on a small plane ready to take a flight over Lake Michigan. One man was the pilot, another man was a young diplomat, the final was a Bishop. On the outside of the plane a young Boy Scout was trying to convince his parents to let him on the plane. Last minute they finally gave in and l...

What do you get when you cross a road with an old lady?

A Boy Scouts badge.

4 people, 3 parachutes...

"There was a flight that had only four people on it - the pilot, a young boy scout, an elderly pastor and a scholarly looking gentleman. During the flight the pilot came back and said that they were experiencing engine difficulties and that the plane was going to crash. The good news was that they h...

There are four people on a crashing plane but only three parachutes...

First man goes "I am a leading heart surgeon one of the best in the world, my patients and country need me". He takes the first parachute and jumps.

Second man arrogantly goes "I am brilliant rocket scientist, one of the smartest men alive the world needs me". He takes the second parachute an...

A priest is walking through the woods at night

He is stopped by a policeman. The priest asks, "What seems to be the problem, officer?" The policeman replies, "A Boy Scout was abducted in the area, and we are looking for a potential child molester." The priest thinks for a second, and says, "I'll do it."

Worlds Smartest Man, Worlds Strongest Man, a Preacher and a Boyscout

...are all on a plane and it's about to crash.
Problem is there is only 3 parachutes.

So...
The worlds smartest man grabs a parachute and says, "I'm the worlds smartest man, I can solve many problems and find solutions for the future of humanity". He jumps out the plane.

The w...

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What's black and blue and hates sex?

The boy scout in my trunk.

Bubba

Once When Bubba got a new job, he says to his new boss, “Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!”

His boss doesn't believe him, so he says “No you do not know everyone in the whole world.”

Bubba says “Yes I do!”

Bubba's boss says “Well prove it!”

Bubba says...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old World War II political joke my granddad told me when I was a kid.

I'll try to retell it exactly as he told it to me when I was about seven or so.

>There's this intersection with a four way stop. Four cars displaying reichstag flags approach the intersection. You know, like those official flags the president's got, except they got the kraut eagle and car...

My car horn hasn't worked for a long time.

Today, a Boy Scout fixed it and all he said was, "Beep repaired!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A plane is flying over the ocean ..

The pilot speaks on the intercom, "Engine one has failed, engine two is on its way out. Grab a parachute I wish you the best."
On board was a Catholic priest, a Rabbi, a lawyer and three boy scouts. As they searched for life vest and parachutes they only found three. The Adults huddled to try and...

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jewish person?

The Boy Scout comes home from camp.
^First ^time ^posting ^on ^this ^sub ^don't ^know ^what's ^too ^offensive ^and ^what's ^not ^sorry.

Four word joke

Boy scouts. Girl guides.

A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting on a bench at the park...

A priest and a rabbi were sitting on a bench at the park. They both watched with interest as a troop of boy scouts marched by on a nature walk. Through the side of his mouth, the priest murmurs to the Rabbi, "I'd sure like to screw those boys over there..."

To which the Rabbi replies, "Screw ...

Three hunters are lost in the woods, and their prospects aren't looking good.

The three men have been trying to find their way out for hours, but none of the landmarks look familiar, and they're starting to get desperate. Finally, one man remembers his Boy Scout training and says, "Fire three shots in the air, and someone will come find us!"

So they fire three shots an...

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Guns – Good Question, Better Answer!

For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an Australian General.
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.
Regardless of how you feel about gun laws, you have to love this!
Thi...

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