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Bosses Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Russian Mafia boss Semion Mogilevich, Japanese Yakuza boss Kenichi Shinoda, American Gangster boss Al Capone and Mexican Cartel boss El Chapo Guzman are in a plane.

They have been on a flight for hours and are all bored.

Mogilevich says: "I'm bored, let's see which mafia has the biggest balls" he looks over at one of his henchman and says "Hey I order you to slit your throat." The henchman does exactly as he says and bleeds out in front of them.

M...

What do bosses who pay their employees minimum wage and middle aged men who date eighteen year olds have in common with each other?

Both would go for lower if it were legal.

[NSFW] What's the difference between this morning and my bosses daughter?

I'm not coming in this morning.

A man goes into his bosses office

Man: I was just checking in to see if I could get the day off to help my wife do the yearly christmas cleaning?

Boss: Absolutely not.

Man: Thank you so much, I knew I could count on you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I put laxatives in my bosses coffee

He's going to shit himself when he finds out.

Bosses are like legs.

When they get to the top they become asses.

What do programmers want from their bosses?

Arrays

A hooker starts a job at an Amazon warehouse, and her bosses give her bonus starting pay.

She had previous package handling experience.

A man is called in to his bosses office

The boss says, "I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?"

The man says, "What's the good news?"

The boss replies, "OSHA is naming a new safety regulation after you."

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