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Beds Jokes

Why do the Lannisters have such big beds?

They push two twins together to make a king.

Why do the Lannisters have such big beds?

They pushed two twins together to make a king.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun gets out of bed

she meets another nun who smiles and says “Someone got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning!”

The nun shrugs, thinking she wasn’t really that grumpy looking and continues to the bathroom, to be met by another nun who looks her up and down, smiles and says “Someone got out of the wron...

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the mat...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The popularity of Lightning McQueen racecar beds probably means that Lightning McQueen has been peed on more then any other fictional character.

He really does deserve the "Pissed In" cup.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bedbugs go into beds, fruit flies go into fruit

Introducing: The Cockroach

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does cocaine help toddlers stop shitting their beds?

Because children should be Sheen and not Heard

My parents thought if they “stacked” our beds we would like it and want to go to bed at our bed time.

That theory was quickly debunked.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So you know how bed bugs come from beds?

Have you thought about cockroaches

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are beds rectangular?

So people know that you’re not fucking around.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and woman, both married separately, had to share a room one night on a business trip.

They feel weird at first, but they both fall asleep in their separate beds.

After a few hours of sleeping, the man wakes the woman up and asks her, "Could you grab me another blanket from the closet? I'm really cold."

The woman responds, "Or we could just pretend to be married for the ...

What would happen if all the beds would instantly dissapear?

Everyone would fall asleep

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