I was so embarrassed that my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set that I threw the bedsheet over it.

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

One day God visits St. Peter at the pearly gates and tells him heaven is too crowded and to not let so many people in and gives St Peter a quota for each day.

Later that day 3 men approach looking for entrance into heaven. Peter turns to the men and tells them that only 1 of them is able to enter into heaven. To decide which one gets in he asks them how they died. He tells them that the man with the best death story will get into heaven.

The first ...

Why did the chicken cross the road with a bedsheet?

To kill Jeffrey Epstein and make it look like a suicide.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Guy Picks Up A Hooker For The First Time.

They come into his house, and he throws off his shoes, and holy Jesus christ almighty his toes! The Hooker Asks:

"Oh my god, what is with your toes?!"

The guy responds with: "I had TOElio when I was younger"

They move on, the guy takes off his pants and HOLY CRAP his knees they'...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redneck is on his honeymoon about to make love, when his wife says...

"Wait, honey, there's somethin' I need you to know. I'm a virgirn"
"WHAT THE FUCK?" The man shouts, and he punches her in the face, knocks her out. He wraps her in the bedsheets, drags her down the stairs and out the door, throws her into the back of his pickup truck, and drives on over to her da...

A Man Is Obsessed With Tractors

A man named John is obsessed with tractors. So obsessed that he has posters of tractors on his wall, tractor toys and even tractor bedsheets.

One day, John meets a woman and they start dating. But the woman is tired of all the tractor related items in Johns home.

Girl: John I really ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wakes in hospital after a car crash missing his penis

After a terrible car crash a man wakes up in hospital to a doctor standing over him.

“Good news and bad news sir. You’re completely fine accept you lost your penis in the crash.”

The man pulls back the bedsheets and the doctor is right, there’s nothing down there at all.

The doc...

Hey girl, are you a book?

Because you’re pretty useless to me.

Original joke from r/antijokes bu u/BedsheetCover

The thought of one of my friends catching me playing with my train set is so embarrassing.

So I covered the set up with bedsheets. Nobody will find out now, my tracks are covered

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A salesman knocks on the door and a little boy answers...

he's drinking his father's favorite scotch and smoking a fresh cigar while wearing his mother's favorite bedsheets as a toga.

"Are your parents home?" asked the salesman.

to which the boy replied, "Does it fucking look like it?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you heard about the man who dreamt he was packing his parachute in preparation for a jump?

His wife had to be rushed to the hospital with half of the bedsheets stuffed up her ass.

"Hey son, come over here!"

"You're getting it all over your bedsheets."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man summons his nurse in the recovery room

He pulls her close and asks “Are my testicles black?”
The nurse, is somewhat taken aback but lifts the bedsheets to check, moves some stuff around and says “No.”

A while later the nurse comes back in and is again asked “can you please check and see if my testicles are black?”
Again the ...

Tractor fan

I once had a friend called Sam. When we were young, Sam had an obsession with tractors. He loved them. He had toy tractors, tractor bedsheets, tractor memorabilia - anything to do with tractors fascinated him.
For his 12th birthday, his mother decided to take him to a tractor convention and Sam w...

Two cellmates in an asylum decide to escape

So they wait until midnight, when everyone is asleep, and start. They grab their bedsheets and tie them end-to-end to make a rope. Soon, though, they realize that they're on the top floor, and that they wouldn't have enough rope to climb down to the ground. Then, one of them gets an idea. He says "H...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When Halitosis Mets Bromodosis...

(Cross post from r/relationships) Once there was a girl with such bad breath that no one wanted to date her, no matter how hard she tried. Across town there was a man who inherited a very severe case of stinky feet that he, too, was deemed undatable. One night when the stars aligned just right, thes...

Joe and his tractors

So there's this guy named Joe. For years Joe loved tractors. He was obsessed with them. He had tractor posters, tractor calendars, tractor bedsheets, tractor wallpaper, tractor simulators. Anyways one day Joe is at the annual tractor convention in LA and he sees the brand new XJ54330 tractor. It's t...

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