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A blonde, brunette, and redhead all went in to visit with college admissions.

Their moms all sat in the waiting room holding their daughters purses. The brunettes mom starts snooping through her daughters purse and finds a lighter. She said " I knew my daughter was smoking. I'm going to have a talk with her".
The redhead's mom saw this and started digging through her daugh...

At the hospital today, there was a sign that said "ADMISSIONS'.

I confessed.

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Do you own a lawnmower?

Two redneck friends, Jimbo and Billy Bob, wanted to go back to school, so they enrolled at the local community college and met with the dean of admissions. Jimbo is called in first.

Dean: "Well, I got the standard general education courses for you this coming semester, such as science and Eng...

The nurse at the admissions desk kept misrecording each patient's blood-types..

His inability to use a keyboard definitely resulted in a whole lot of Type-Os!

Today I asked the Director of Admissions at my University what the best thing about her job was...

And she said, "Well, I gotta admit..."

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The Redneck Joke

Two Tennessee Rednecks, Bubba and Jim Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Bubba turns to Jim Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College, and sign up for some classes." Jim Bob thinks it's a good ...

Really busy century in heaven

Three guys die and go to heaven. St. Peter says "Listen - we're having a really busy century, so we need to manage admissions tightly. Right now we can only admit people who have died in horrible fashions, and those who have died in a more mundane way will have to wait in limbo, and it could take a ...

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Logic at the Community College

Looking for a little knowledge, Jimmy walks into his local community college and asks the admissions clerk on duty what classes are being offered. The clerk tells Jimmy there is a logic course starting up soon.
"Logic?" Asks Jimmy, "what's that?"
"Logic is real easy, let me explain it this way...

Bubba applied to work for the FBI

Bubba was not a smart man by any stretch of the imagination, but he very much wanted to work for the FBI. He took a trip up to Washington to take the admissions test, and after the test was scored, the agent in charge pulled Bubba aside.

He said, "Son, this may well be the worst I've ever se...

Nobody's gonna get this but...

When Robert Bork died, he found himself at the pearly gates where St. Peter stood smiling.

"Mr. Bork! Welcome to Heaven! You're going to love it here! Now, what would you like to do? Sleep for a few years? Eat?"

"Well, that's awfully nice, St. Peter, but I've always loved being of se...

Magic Number 5

I was walking down the street the other day when I saw my best friend Jeff. I walked up to him and mentioned that I had the craziest dream the other night. Jeff listened as I told him that the dream consisted of just one thing. A huge glowing number "5". It was made of gold and sparkled with shiny d...

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