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Accepting Jokes

Although the World is more accepting, I refuse to accept some races.

Marathons are awful.

I got an wedding invite that said, “We are not accepting any gifts. Your presence on our special day is a gift in itself.”

Reading it, I realized that I wasn’t invited.

What do you call a large bug that's very accepting of people no matter what?

Tolerant

The Charlie Brown Foundation is now accepting donations.

All proceeds go towards good grief counsellors.

When receiving payment in gold coins, pirates used to verify their purity by biting into them

In other word, criminals only accepting payment in bit coins goes long way back

I saw an Egyptian not accepting his responsibilities

He was in de-Nile to say the least

I'm quite accepting of my issues, and quick to admit to myself my faults.

Good thing I don't have any.

How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?

You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ...

My local church has just started accepting contactless donations!

I’ve suggested they implement contactless priests

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s No Nut November and we’re accepting bets until 11/11.

“Step right up and ‘come’ on in! Go make a bet on any male candidate. Claim your prize after No Nut November ends., but ONLY if the candidate don’t nut. It’s $69 per ticket!
Double your winnings if they don’t nut for the next week!”

With semenly impossible odds, this is a good way to net...

In order to help win their gang war, the Bloods in LA have started accepting the severed feet of their enemies as a form of payment.

They’re calling it Crip Toe Currency.

The world of hashtags is very accepting

i mean, #include is the most used hashtag.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man tells his Mom he’s gay

A young man decides that the upcoming holiday is a good time to tell his Mom that he's gay. He's in college, making new friends, and will eventually want to bring one of them home to meet the family. He spends the drive home going over the conversation, what he'll say, what she'll say, how he'll ans...

The Hong Kong protestors are not really accepting of the police’s new message.

Apparently some have even taken it to heart.

Why did thor have such a hard time accepting his brother was actually a frost giant?

He was loki racist

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the insane asylum stop accepting homosexual patients?

They only had straight jackets.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest hooks a huge fish

A priest hooks a huge fish

Helping him reel it in, a sailor says "Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!".

"Hey, mind your language!" says the priest.

Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, "Sorry father, but that's what this fish is called, it's a Fucker fish".<...

Marriage is about accepting each other’s flaws. For example, if I fart, my wife calls me disgusting and hits me.

If my wife farts, she calls me disgusting and hits me.

If I had a dollar for every time I was racially accepting

I'd be as poor as a no good, dirty mexican.

Did you hear a med school is accepting animals as students?

They're calling it the hippocampus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife was accepting when I told her my fantasy was to have sex with two women at the same time

But was furious when I told her she isn't either of them

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