A man suddenly appeared at the gates of Hell… (Story Joke)

He looked up to see the Devil sitting at a chair.

“Hello my friend,” The Devil said kindly, “How are you this fine eternity?”

“A bit confused,” the man replied, “I didn’t realise that I was dead.”

“I understand,” the Devil said sympathetically, “Why don’t you tell me how you go...

The anti vaccine society just stopped accepting members which is sad…

People are dying to get in .

I'm quite accepting of my issues, and quick to admit to myself my faults.

Good thing I don't have any.

The Charlie Brown Foundation is now accepting donations.

All proceeds go towards good grief counsellors.

I saw an Egyptian not accepting his responsibilities

He was in de-Nile to say the least

A former drug dealer goes to the local church to confess his sins.

„Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.“ says the man. „I have made a huge amount of money in my loge and have become very rich while doing wrong to many many others. Can the good Lord forgive me and give me another chance?“

The priest hears his confession, thinks a bit and then answers from t...

Marriage is about accepting each other’s flaws. For example, if I fart, my wife calls me disgusting and hits me.

If my wife farts, she calls me disgusting and hits me.

Why did thor have such a hard time accepting his brother was actually a frost giant?

He was loki racist

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s No Nut November and we’re accepting bets until 11/11.

“Step right up and ‘come’ on in! Go make a bet on any male candidate. Claim your prize after No Nut November ends., but ONLY if the candidate don’t nut. It’s $69 per ticket!
Double your winnings if they don’t nut for the next week!”

With semenly impossible odds, this is a good way to net...

Is Hell endothermic or exothermic?

The e-mail was on the weighty matter of the nature of hell, as allegedly posed by a Dr Robert Shambaugh of the University of Oklahoma school of chemical engineering. It purports to be a final exam question from May 1997.

His May 1997 question for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class ...

My local church has just started accepting contactless donations!

I’ve suggested they implement contactless priests

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest hooks a huge fish

A priest hooks a huge fish

Helping him reel it in, a sailor says "Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!".

"Hey, mind your language!" says the priest.

Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, "Sorry father, but that's what this fish is called, it's a Fucker fish".<...

The Hong Kong protestors are not really accepting of the police’s new message.

Apparently some have even taken it to heart.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young boy's mum gives him their last possession: a duck

She tells him "Don't you dare come back til you've gotten a good price for that duck."

Off he goes to the market. On the way there, he's stopped by a prostitute. She propositions him and he's unable to resist.

"But, ma'am, I've only got a duck."

"How much it worth?"

"My m...

I got fired for not accepting a raise at my job this week because I didn't want to lose money paying higher taxes in the next bracket.

I sure feel bad for the accountant they hire to replace me.

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