Adding Jokes - 27 Hilarious Adding Jokes

My grandfather swore by adding a spoonful of gunpowder to his tea every morning.

He said it was a very old remedy to help him live longer, and it worked: he lived to the ripe old age of ninety-seven.

He left a widow, two children, fourteen grandchildren and a fifty-foot crater where the crematorium used to be.

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.

The plot thickens.

Adding a colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence

For example:

Jeffrey ate John's sandwich.

Jeffrey ate John's colon.

Why did Oedipus' love adding soy sauce do his food?

Because it has tons Ooo Mommy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Turks invented sex

and then the Greeks improved it by removing the sheep and adding lubrication.

The Romans perfected it by discovering that you could have it with women too, then the French ruined it by adding misogynistic condescension, and the British made it worse by adding shame; after that, the Americ...

Found out they're adding a Priest villager in the new Minecraft update

I really thought the Creeper was sufficient.

Adding Flavor

Did you know, you can make any dish an autumn dish by adding one simple step? Try dropping it on the floor. It really gives it that fall flavor.

The Greeks invented the threesome

But it was the Romans who thought of adding women.

Apparently adding herbs to your garbage can makes it smell better.

But I don't have thyme for that rubbish.

Wife: Now that we've been married 20 years, how old do you think I look, honestly?

Husband: From your skin I'd say 28, from your hair 25, from your figure 29.

Wife: Oh, what a lovely thing to say.

Husband: Hang on, I haven't finished adding it up yet.

What kind of doctor is Dr. pepper?

A fizzician!

I’ll see myself out

Edit: I guess adding mentos to this joke was a good idea...

Thanks for the gold and silvers!

Happy New Years y’all!

I buy and sell old adding machines for profit but lately I've been losing money.

Something's not adding up.

Why do people keep adding an extra s after 'needles'?

I don’t see the point, it’s needless.

BREAKING: The Internet has been permanently shutdown in Russia, Kremlin announced today, adding that a new network open only to Russians is set to go online within the week

Sources close to the Kremlin says Putin himself took to naming the network, proudly dubbing it as 'The Internyet'

I am suspicious that someone in my family has been secretly adding glue to my weapons collection.

Everyone denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

I was thinking of adding cameras to the Bible

^(But they probably wouldn't be Canon)

Adding Insult to Introduction

Some Texans are mingling at the bar when an Oxford graduate walks in. “Howdy, stranger,” one Texan says. “Where are you from?”

The Oxford graduate answers, “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” replies the Texan. “Where are you from, ...

What does batman like adding to his drinks?

JUST-ICE

Adding Blonde

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?

A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

I caught my wife adding yeast to my beloved flatbread recipe;

But I know she's just trying to get a rise out of me

Why was Sauron always adding entrances to his tower?

Because he lived in Mordor.

Italians are always adding -a to words. (It's-a me, Mario!)

I find it to be a horrible corruption of the English language.

I say pizz and past, like a _real_ American.

Today, I felt like a part of me was missing. Like something isn't adding up..

Then I remember that my doctor has performed biopsy on me this afternoon.

Starbucks® has announced that they are now adding a surcharge to any customer displaying Coronavirus symptoms.

Relax. It's just a "Cough Fee."

Adding an s to the word "needles"...

Is needless.

My rubbish dog joke.

A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please'.
The barman says, 'Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!'
The dog replies, 'Why? Do they need electricians?'

the joke is originally in persian but i think it works in english too

kid:"hey mom are you adding carrots to that soup?"

mom:"yeah, i know you dont like carrots but dont worry, you wont taste the carrot at all"

kid:"then why do you add carrots?"

mom:"because it makes it tastier"

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