I got my friend a telepathic abacus for his birthday.

It's the thought that counts.

For Mother's Day, I bought my mom new beads for her abacus...

It’s the little things that count...

My wife always complains I’m insensitive. So I got her some beads of an abacus for her birthday.

She said, “What the hell are these?”

I replied, “It’s the little things that count.”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Japanese mathematician Shinichi Mochizuki has been dubbed 'The Human Abacus'

Friends and family of Mr. Mochizuki have described him as 'someone you can really count on'

People think I’m weird because I swallowed an abacus...

It’s what’s inside that counts...

When people ask me if my knock-off abacus works, I tell them...

“Don’t count on it”.

My abacus is really reliable for simple maths.

You can count on it.

I asked the shopkeeper if he thought I should be refunded for my faulty abacus

He told me not to count on it.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Crappy Math Joke: Did you know the abacus...

..is the first example of anal retentive beads?

An abacus doesn't need batteries

you can always count on it

What did the abacus say to the adding machine?

Calc you later!


Just received my new Chinese abacus. It's poorly made. I can't count on it

A man goes to a funeral ...

After the regular round of eulogies and speeches and well wishers, he leans over the pew and asks the widow:

"Mind if I say a word?"

“No, of course not”, she says. "Please do."

The man stands up, clears his throat and says:


Then promptly sits down.