For his birthday, I got my friend a telepathic abacus.
It's the thought that counts.
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I lost my abacus today
So I'm counting on this punchline working instead
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For her birthday I bought my wife new beads for her abacus.
It's the little things that count.
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From the moment I saw my wife's abacus tattoo,
I knew I could always count on her.
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What did the man say to the abacus?
I’m counting on you.
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I lost my job in the abacus factory.
They said all my hard work was counter-productive.
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People think I’m weird because I swallowed an abacus...
It’s what’s inside that counts...
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What's the difference between a lawyer and an abacus?
You can count on an abacus.
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My wife always complains I’m insensitive. So I got her some beads of an abacus for her birthday.
She said, “What the hell are these?”
I replied, “It’s the little things that count.”
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Abacus
Just received my new Chinese abacus. It's poorly made. I can't count on it
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My abacus is really reliable for simple maths.
You can count on it.
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I made an abacus by threading string through polo mints....
....it has improved my menthol arithmetic
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Japanese mathematician Shinichi Mochizuki has been dubbed 'The Human Abacus'
Friends and family of Mr. Mochizuki have described him as 'someone you can really count on'
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What did the abacus say to the adding machine?
Calc you later!
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A school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport
A school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, an ancient wooden device called a "slide-rule" as well as a code device called an "abacus" that he claimed was a calculator....
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When people ask me if my knock-off abacus works, I tell them...
“Don’t count on it”.
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I asked the shopkeeper if he thought I should be refunded for my faulty abacus
He told me not to count on it.
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I nearly gave up on life after God turned me into an abacus.
But people were counting on me...
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A man goes to a funeral ...
After the regular round of eulogies and speeches and well wishers, he leans over the pew and asks the widow:
"Mind if I say a word?"
“No, of course not”, she says. "Please do."
The man stands up, clears his throat and says:
"Abacus"
Then promptly sits down. ...
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