It's January 2nd and the First Officer on a cruiser is looking at the Captain's Log from the previous day.

He sees "January 1st: First Officer Simpkins arrived on the bridge drunk today" and he says to the captain, "Sir, I feel this log entry is a little unfair. True, I did see the New Year in with an extra tot, but nothing out of the ordinary for the occasion, and I was well capable of carrying out my d...

What do you call an authoritarian couch potato?

A dictator tot

A little IDAHO HUMOR From John H. Hill

A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,

and finally they got married, and had a little sweet

potato, which they called 'Yam'.

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.

When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.

They warned her about going...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the woman bring toilet paper tot he gala?

She was a party pooper!

Told by my 7 year-old

An old family joke.

A couple have a baby boy. He learned to speak at an early age, and was quickly learning the names of body parts.

The child's grandfather is playing with him, asking him to identify parts of the body.

"Where is your mouth?" The child would touch his lips. "Where is your foot?". The c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the best name for the groups of armed anti-stay-at-home protesters?

Vanilla Isis

Flu Klux Klan

Lack Panthers

HamAss

Meal Team Six

Gravy Seals

Irrational Guard

Y'all Qaeda

Branch Covidians

Boko Moron

The Coughedaracy

101st Chairborne

Cosplaytriots

The Yeehadis

Hogan's Ze...

A man walks into a bar, and begins reading the menu overhead the smoking hot bartender.

The sign reads as follows:


* Nachos $4


* Hamburger $3


* Hotdog $2


* Grilled Chicken Sandwich $3


* Grilled Cheese $2


* Fries, Onion Rings, and Tater Tots $1.50


* Handjob $10


After he looks over the menu for a mome...

A drunk man was kicked out of the bar.

He is desperately wanting another drink but they won’t allow him back in. He notices two young blokes walking up tot he bar. “Hey you, buy me another drink,” he mumbles.
“Do it yourself,” the two young men laughed.
“I can’t, I was kicked of the bar,” the drunk man exclaimed.
The drunk man w...

What did Stalin eat for breakfast?

Dictator-tots

What would you call a potato that has gone to the Dark Side?

Vader-tots

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you grind up Kim Jung Un's junk, mix in some shredded potatoes, ball them up and deep fry them?

dicktator tots

What do you call it when one kindergartener beats up another kindergartener to become class president?

A coup d'tot.

How did the idiot drown drinking water?

The toilet seat fell on his head.

(My boyfriend's brother came up with that one when he was a little tot)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes shopping at the market..

He pulls into the frozen food section and looks around, grabbing a few hungry man frozen dinners along with a bag of tater-tots and a few burritos. Next he rolled down the chip isle making sure to grab an original, bbq, and sour cream and onion variety of Lays. Next up: hot dogs, spaghetti, and some...

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