Teacher," Tell me a sentence that starts with an 'I'."

Student: I is the....

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an 'I'. Always put 'am' after an 'I'.

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d move U

Cause you’re blocking the TV

Why can’t dinosaurs say the alphabet?

Because they are dead.

I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet

I don’t know y

Why can't pirates learn the alphabet?

Because they are stuck at sea.

When I noticed "HI" in the alphabet, I thought I had made a new friend...

Until I saw the next two letters..

When I was a kid, I had a 26 card deck for each letter of the alphabet.

I managed to lose every one of them, except my V card.

I've combined alphabet soup and a laxative.

I call it "letter rip"

When people began using the alphabet, they only used 25 letters.

Nobody knew why.

Say the alphabets!

One day lil Jhonny had to badly go to the bathroom. His English teacher Miss. Strict didn't believe he had to go that badly and thought he was disrupting the class so told him to hold it in. Lil Jhonny kept pestering her every 5 mins until she had it. So she said recite the alphabets quickly and I'l...

What is your favorite number in the alphabet

If you didn’t answer Germany you’re wrong

A boy had a speech impediment and is unable to articulate anything more than the letters of the alphabet.

He opens his wallet, only to sadly exclaim:


This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Ms. Dolores is reviewing the alphabet with her third-grade class...

One particular student, Johnny, is a troublemaker. He always looks for an opportunity to disrupt class and shock the teacher, and today is no different.

Ms. Dolores starts off with the letter "A". "OK, class, who knows a word that begins with 'A'?"

Johnny raises his hand before anyone ...

You've heard of alphabet soup. Now get ready for

Times new ramen

"Can you tell me what the second to last letter in the alphabet is?"


"So I can make a stupid joke"

What do you call alphabet soup with only I, V, X, L, C, D, and M?

Ramen Numerals!

Which 3 letters in the alphabet are the smelliest?


I was at a bar the other day, when all of a sudden, the bartender yelled, "DOES ANYONE KNOW CPR?!" I yelled back, "I KNOW THE ENTIRE ALPHABET!" and everyone laughed and laughed and laughed...

Well, except for this one guy...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Kindergarten Teacher: Let's name a word that starts with each letter of the alphabet...

Teacher says, "Okay, let's start with letter A."
Little Johnny raises hand, teacher calls on him and he says "Ass, ass starts with the letter A." Teacher scolds Johnny and tells him it's inappropriate to talk like that in school.

Teacher then asks the class, "Who knows a word that starts ...

Why did the sailor find it hard to learn the alphabet?

Because he spent years at C.

Why was C afraid of every other letter in the alphabet?

Because all the other letters were not-C’s

Why couldn't the redditor complete the alphabet?

He was missing OC

The doctor told me I shouldn’t eat alphabet soup.

I suffer from irritable vowel syndrome.

Hnestly, I dn't like typing the 15th letter f the alphabet

I think it's a little o pressing

Schools in America should start teaching students that the alphabet starts with 'O'

OBCD is a growing issue in America

My roommate said that I couldn’t get him alphabet soup by dinner time

He’s eating his words right now.

Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has No L.

Why do pirates never finish the alphabet

Because they are lost at C

What is the best letter to get rid of in your alphabet?

Your X.

There were plans to change the design of the 21st letter of the alphabet but Ed Sheeran stopped them

He’s in love with the shape of u

Why didn’t Elsa’s parents teach her the full alphabet?

They got lost at C.

What do you call a country that hates the 5th letter of the alphabet?


What was the Pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?


He was British.

What do you have after eating too much alphabet soup?

A large vowel movement.

Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get Christmas presents?

Because the rest of the letters are not-E.

What's the first letter of the Canadian alphabet?


Ate 3 bowls of alphabet soup earlier...

Just took the biggest vowel movement of my life.

What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?


Why? Well, let me say it another way...

Aye-aye, Arrr and the seven seas.

Do you know anything about the Canadian alphabet?

It’s pretty much the same... but I think they have a pretty cool eh

Sign up today for a new 24 letter alphabet.

No BS.

Why are the first 25 letters of the alphabet so racist?

Because they're all not Zs.

Part of the alphabet has been destroyed in a terrorist attack.

No letter has been charged, but the cops suspect G-had a hand in it.

"Brain, I need the alphabet please."

Brain : but you didn't do the thing.

"I don't feel like doing the thing."

"Suit yourself. No thing, no alphabet."

"Brain, I'm not kidding, I'm not in the mood, I need the alphabet NOW!"

"DO IT !"



Why should we rename the alphabet to the cyclops?

Because it only has one I.

(I made it up to entertain my four year old, but I'm still kinda of it.)

Don't leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended.

It could spell disaster.

I was choking on some alphabet pasta when a lady asked if I needed help.

She took the words right out of my mouth.


I read that the Icelandic alphabet doesn't have a 'Z' in it.

How do the people there sleep at night?

I had four cans of alphabet soup yesterday.

I just had the largest vowel movement...

I'll see myself out.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A rich, eccentric man owns a museum of giant, alphabet-shaped objects.

The grand opening is planned for soon. He's filled up most of his exhibits, but he's still looking for a final touch to the Q room. He puts up an online ad campaign and waits to hear back, delaying the opening until he can find a good Q. After about a month, he's about to give up and close down the ...

How come the boat couldn’t recite the alphabet?

He’d always get lost at “C”

What letter of the alphabet does a pirate yearn for the most?

You’d think it was the c but it’s actually his i

There are 26 letters in the Alphabet. If you take out ET, how many are left?

21 because E.T. leaves in his U,F.O.

A Driver gets Pulled Over

A man driving home from the bar gets pulled over by a police officer.

Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Driver: "I'm guessing you think I was drunk driving."

Officer: "Tell you what, my shift is ending so if you can spell the alphabet backwards, I'll let you go."

Dad joke level grandpa: Why are the first 25 letters of the alphabet fascist?

Because they're not-z's.

What is the best letter in the alphabet?

P - it’s number 1.

I wouldn't make a joke about any letter of the alphabet, because they could get annoyed...

Especially X. He is really gon give it to U.

Question: What is a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?

Answer: Arrrrghhh!
Response: Nay! 'Tis the SEA we love!!

*My brother-in-law told me this one!

The oxford english dictonary once debated whether or not to remove the letter 'u' from the alphabet. Why didn't they?

Because of Rick Astley

Asked my Spanish friend if he liked any letters in the alphabet.

"C," he said. "E, too."

Why can't a pirate say his alphabet?

He Gets lost at Sea!

I can’t remember the 25th letter of the alphabet.

I don’t know y.

Redditor 1: "What's the middle of the alphabet?"

Redditor 2: "Duh. It's LMN, OP."

Our relationship is like the alphabet...

The X is closer to U than I ever will be.

My Mom Tried To Force Feed Me Alphabet Soup, Saying “I Loved It”

I Hate It When People Put Words In My Mouth

What's a pirates favourite letter of the alphabet?

I bet you thought it was R. But everyone knows, a Pirate's first love is the C.

What’s is a Pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?

Some believe it’s R but his true love is the C.

Why do Canadians say the alphabet backwards?

They always have to end with A.

The alphabet scares me

“A bee sea?”

No thank you, I’ll just stop you right there.

Did you know that back in the 80's the alphabet only had 24 letters?

That's because ET went home.

What a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?

None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.

The third letter of the alphabet showed up to work at the same time, every day.

It was consistent C.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Choking on the Phonetic Alphabet

Last week, I was registering for a website when I ran into a little trouble and had to call their customer support. We were going through some basic form information and he was having trouble understanding my spelling so he told me to use the phonetic alphabet.

For those of you that don't kn...

Did you see the movie about how a letter of the alphabet went on an odyssey to find the meaning of life?

It was full of E-motion

What is your favourite alphabet?

A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is. A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus?"

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together

And then move the rest of them to match the layout of a QWERTY keyboard too.