Alphabet Jokes

She insisted on me telling everyone that I loved it.

I didn't really, she was just putting words in my mouth

The rest are e-z.

Nobody knew why.

It only knows H to O

Because the others are Not-Cs

Cause you’re blocking the TV

But then I saw the next two letters.

Because they spend years at C.

Letter rip!

If it goes off, it could spell disaster.

O B C D...

the joke is on U.

‘Well done darling’ the girl’s mother replies. ‘That’s because you’re blonde.’
After returning from school the next day the girl tells her mother ‘I am the smartest student in my maths class! I can count up to 15! Everyone else stopped at about 5’
‘Well done’ replies the mother again. ‘That’s ... read more

The Christmas alphabet has noel.

the vowels."

Friend: "Why?"

Me: "Sometimes."

None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.

Student: I is the....

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after "I". Always put 'am' after "I".

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Because they get lost at C

It’s because they can’t see.

Times new ramen!

Her: How would you find the time?

Me: Easy. It’ll be right next to the sage.

So I went up asking why and was told that I didn't pay for the dlc.

Because the rest of the letters are not-E.

Just had the biggest vowel movement ever.

You'd think it'd be R, but it's the C they truly love!

22, because E.T. went home and somebody shot J.R.

I don't know why.

Bkoos

Because he was always lost at C!



[ I'm^so^sorry ]

Folks, let me tell you, this is a great question. It's a huge question, it's tremendous. Just last day a decorated veteran with tears in his eyes came to me and asked" sir, please sir, can you answer what comes after the letter b in alphabet?". And let me tell you, the answer is a big deal. It's a b... read more

Times New Ramen.



*Credit for this goes to Kim Komando. I heard it on the radio earlier today.*

They said "That sounds like a 'U' problem"

Because they're not-z's.

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an 'i' in it.

Johnny: I is...

Teacher: No, Johnny, when you say 'i', it should be followed by 'am'

Johnny: Okay, I am the 9th letter of the alphabet

You think it’d be the Arrrr. But they’re always stuck at sea

Teacher: “Now, can you tell me the next two letters after M?”

Class: “NO”

There will be no more ER, ICU, or TP.

...so I said "tebahpla eht" and I spent the whole night in jail.

She took the words right out of my mouth.

[OC]

but I don't want to put words in her mouth.

I was drinking at a local bar last night when a waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?”

I shouted, “Hell, I know the whole alphabet.”

Everyone laughed… Well everyone except this one guy.

A B C D E F G water P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Gobble-You!

Note: my six year old made up this joke.

But it's hard to type

U-people make me sick

Adidas

Now I have severe cramps in my vowels and I've been in-consonant all day

I call it Letter Rip.

Because they got lost at C.

More like Times New Ramen, amirite?



(Not OC, but one of my favorite one-liners and haven’t seen it posted in this sub)

Because they only eat e o p a

I discovered I'm also dyslexic!

A bee sea? No thank you

"Y"

"So I can make a stupid joke"

...always a VW behind U.

It was a complete guess, but I was right.

I told her no.

I've been making a list for months of words that can be used to deliberately confuse people over the phone when phonetically reading out letters. Some letters like L are tough so I just added funny words to say.

A - aisle

B - bdellium

C - czar

D - Djibouti, Django, djemb... read more

The pirated version isn't the full edition.

Because they get lost at sea!
(My friend told me this idk if someone else posted before)

I’m not so sure... all I know is it’s “not z”