My mum used to feed me alphabet soup when I was a kid

She insisted on me telling everyone that I loved it.

I didn't really, she was just putting words in my mouth

Why didn't the pirate finish the alphabet?

He got lost at C

How a Chemist reads the alphabets

A B C D E F G water P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

The hardest part about learning the alphabet is the first four letters;

The rest is just E-Z.

Year 2020 passed like a kid reciting the alphabet.

January — ABCD...

February — EFG...

March — HIJK...

April to December — ELEMENOP.

Pirates may be good at math, but they struggle with the alphabet.

They spend years at c!

Why can't pirates finish the alphabet?

The pirated version isn't the full edition.

The letters in the English alphabet go to the beach (don't ask me why). Every letter gets sunburned except W, X, Y and Z. Why?

They had UV protection in front.

I mixed too much laxative into my alphabet soup...

...I got verbal diarrhea

I told my wife I’m going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on. She said, “Where would you find the time?”

I said, “Easy. Right next to the sage.”

Nurse: Doctor, I have organized the list of donor's hearts, livers, kidneys in alphabetical order

Doctor: Wow, its very *organ-ized*

The alphabet in 2021: ABDFGHJKLMNOQSVWXYZ.

There will be no more ER, ICU, or TP.

I was in a bar getting drunk last night, when the bartender shouted out, “Does anyone know CPR?” I shouted back, “I do, in fact, I know the entire alphabet!” Everyone in the bar laughed and laughed...

Well, all except for one guy...

I'm good friends with 24 letters of the alphabet.

I hate you, I don't know why.

You’ve heard of alphabet soup now get ready for....

Times new ramen!

The autobahn is like the alphabet...

...always a VW behind U.

What's the second to last letter in the alphabet?

...

Because I want to know!?

(you have to say this one out loud to get it)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup ...

And shit out a statement smarter than the one you just made.

If i could rearrange the alphabet

I'd put my D inside of U

When I looked at my alphabet soup, I thought I was in the red light district.

Turns out I just saw a broth L

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy was told to get the first five letter of the alphabet for school by asking his family

A six-year-old goes to school and his homework was to go ask his family for the first 5 letters of the alphabet. he goes home. he asks his mom who was taking a nap what is the first letter of the alphabet

the mom says "shut up I'm tired" .he makes a not in his mind about it

he then goe...

Why did it take so long for the pirates to learn the Alphabet?

They got stuck at C.

Someone asked me what the 9th letter of the Alphabet was.

It was a complete guess, but I was right.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny was in a class when his teacher told them to name a noun from each letter of the alphabet.

"Let's start with A," she said

Immediately, Little Johnny raised his hand, "Oooh teacher! Me! Me!"

Now, Little Johnny was a known troublemaker and all the teachers know that he had a more mature vocabulary than the rest. As a result, the teacher called Little Suzy instead knowing Littl...

Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"...

O B C D...

If you are looking for alphabet jokes,

the joke is on U.

History's biggest irony is that the Russian alphabet has no lowercase letters

It's all Capitalization.

Student: For the life of my I cannot remember what the 21st letter of the alphabet is.

Teacher: That sounds like a you problem

I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday.

Then, I easily had the biggest vowel movement ever.

The alphabet is terrifying.

A bee sea? No thank you

I took a picture of the 5th letter of the alphabet today

Epic

Why did 25 letters of the alphabet get coal for Christmas?

Because they were not E

I'm trying to learn the alphabet but I can't get past X

I dont know why

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

once upon a time there was a village where everyone was named after letters of the Alphabet.

Also everyone referred to one another as "person".

"Hello person"
"How are you person"
Greetings, fellow person!"

and so on.


Anyways one day an outsider wanders into the village and he is being introduced to everyone by the village guide.

"This, is person A. Tha...

A few months ago, a time traveller ran up to someone and shouts "I need you to say the 9th letter of the alphabet and the German founder of the philosophical doctrine of transcendental idealism, or the world will fall into chaos!"

...I Kant

The anti-phonetic alphabet

I've been making a list for months of words that can be used to deliberately confuse people over the phone when phonetically reading out letters. Some letters like L are tough so I just added funny words to say.

A - aisle

B - bdellium

C - czar

D - Djibouti, Django, djemb...

What a pirates favourite letter of the alphabet?

"Arrrrr"
"Ah you'd think so, but it's the C"

A Titan captures 26 Spies of his enemies. Each Spy is given 2 names: They are numbered from 1-26 and are given the alphabet with respect to their numbers. He then proceeds to eat all but one to prevent information from leaking out (He executed that spy). Which spy and why?

Spy#3. He was Spy-C.

Why do English kids repeat the alphabet only to the letter S?

After S is tea time.

What are water favorite letters of the alphabet?

H to O

What's Soulja Boy's favourite letter in the alphabet

"UUUUU"

If we ever start betting on alphabet cars I will always be betting on the "S" car

Because escargot

I saw the letters "HI" in the alphabet and thought I finally made a friend...

...until I saw the next two letters.

Why, Who, Where, When?

In reverse alphabetical order, What comes next.

How can you tell if someone is blind?

Their alphabet goes:
ABDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the letter "C" afraid of all the other letters in the alphabet?

All the others were Nazis

If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d move U

Cause you’re blocking the TV

I decided to bake every letter of the alphabet, when my first pastry gained sentience. It was very excited to be able to think and reason.

I guess it's a happy caked A for me!

I HATE THE SECOND LETTER OF THE ALPHABET SO MUCH THAT I AM PROTESTING!!

Say it with me!

BOOOOOOO Bs!
BOOOOOOO Bs!
BOOOOOOO Bs!

Joe Biden Singing the Alphabet

Joe: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G,"

"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P,"

\*pauses\*

"I don't remember the rest,"

"Nor can I sing,"

"That doesn't matter,"

"You know the thing."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Adolf Hitlers favorite letter of the alphabet?

I dont know but im 100% sure its not Z

How do you pay your waiter if it's a letter of the alphabet?

With a Q-tip.

(Joke courtesy of my 8-year-old son)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three children at a catholic school are learning the alphabet

"Hi, kids," says the priest. "Today we're going to learn about the letter S."

The priest holds up a white board with the letter S on it.

"How many sins can you name that begin with S?" asked the priest.

The children thought for a moment, then Johnny spoke up.

"Slavery!" ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my therapist that I’m afraid of the 15th, 9th, and 3rd letter of the alphabet.

“Oh, I see”

I've combined alphabet soup and a laxative.

I call it "letter rip"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Six Letters of the Alphabet

Billy was a boy in kindergarten. At the end of the school day, the teacher gave the class a simple task.

“Ok class, I want you to go home tonight and learn the first six letters of the alphabet.”

So Billy left school determined to learn what the teacher had asked. When he got home, he ...

I have dedicated my entire life to knowing 96% of the alphabet

I really don't know why though

If you mess with lgbtq

The whole alphabet pulls up

What do you get....

When you combine a laxative and alphabet soup?

'Letter Rip'

Alphabet Soup?

More like Times New Ramen, amirite?



(Not OC, but one of my favorite one-liners and haven’t seen it posted in this sub)

Why did the A.I. with a diet for multicolored alphabets refuse to eat?

There was no gray V

Using every letter in the alphabet in just one sentence makes things difficult, but to be fair...

quiz wax

What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?

You might think that it's "ARR"...

BUT IT'S ACTUALLY THE "SEA"!!

What a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?

None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.

Me and my imaginary alphabet friends took a group photo together

When I looked at the picture only I was in it

Why can’t dinosaurs say the alphabet?

Because they are dead.

I was choking on some alphabet pasta when a lady asked if I needed help.

She took the words right out of my mouth.

[OC]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Timmy is given the homework: find the first four letters of the alphabet

Timmy didn't have internet access, so he asked his mother for the first letter. She was cooking an burned herself and screamed "oh fuck off." So Timmy wrote that down. Then he went to his father, who was watching darts, to ask for the second letter. He shouted "180!" So Timmy wrote that down. Then h...

My son's kindergarten teacher is such a hardass, she failed him on his alphabet test even though he got 25/26.

He still doesn't know y.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny is learning the alphabet...

And you guys all know little Johnny, right? The kid is *no good.* He uses any excuse to disrupt class and say something rude. And his teacher is going through the alphabet and asking for examples of the letters.


"Who can tell me a word that starts with 'a'?"

Johnny's hand shoots up...

Why can’t pirates sing the alphabet?

Because they get lost at sea!
(My friend told me this idk if someone else posted before)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny has the foulest mouth in his first grade class

All the teachers at the school know this. One day, a teacher starts teaching her class the alphabet.

She says, "Class, who can give me a word that starts with the letter A?"

Little Johnny raises his hand, but the teacher knows Johnny is going to use a swear word, so she picks someone e...

Dad joke level grandpa: Why are the first 25 letters of the alphabet fascist?

Because they're not-z's.

There were plans to change the design of the 21st letter of the alphabet but Ed Sheeran stopped them

He’s in love with the shape of u

When I was a kid, I had a 26 card deck for each letter of the alphabet.

I managed to lose every one of them, except my V card.

What does the alphabet and algebra have in common?

They both had the same ex.

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