Fencing Jokes

The neighbors said they will call the police unless I put it back.

Turned out to be a riposte.

But then I realised it might just be a riposte

One's a little rapier...

I couldn’t see the point.

Too many ripostes.

Because of all the riposting.

Avant-garde!

His opponent was confused because he was fully on the offensive and made not even one defensive move.

After the game, the opponent asked him about his unorthodox technique.

He replied, "Oh yeah, I only know how to riposte."

... because you usually win with a riposte!


(This terrible pun is wholly original, so far as I know. Thus it will die in infamy without upvotes)

There was a famous fencer that could defeat every opponent he came across. No matter his opponent, he could always parry their blows and was always able to score a hit. Of course, each of his opponents would look greatly unnerved after every match, walking out in anger at their utter loss.

On... read more

When it's not parrying, it's full of repostes

Your response to anything original is either a block or a riposte.

You can score big with a good riposte!

but then I saw the rule about "no ripostes"

There's bound to be a riposte

But i’m sure it’ll end up being a riposte

The teacher started yelling fencing terms I didn't understand.

"Lunge!"

"Parry!"

"Reposte"

I stopped and said, "I can't do that, this is my first post in r/jokes and I don't wanna get flamed."

(Ain't much, but at least I tried)

The riposte.

It’s always a riposte.

In fencing people don't carry on and yell every time there's a riposte.

In one of his most notable bouts, against the Marquis of Mod, his opponent noticed a very glaring pattern.

Upon exploiting this weakness and winning the duel, the Marquis approached the lazy duellist and questioned his methods-

"Why, may I ask, do you always seem to attack upon compl... read more

But I attended a match with a friend who promised to explain everything.

The fencer took position, and one lunged at the other who batted the blade away.

The crowd went wild.

"That was a parry." My friend explained.

The fencer lunged again, the other deflected the blade... read more

Full of ripostes.

So I recently decided to take up fencing. I was talking to a friend about difficulties I was having with counterattacking my opponent. I'm fine with the parrying part, but it's what comes after the parry that I just can't seem to get right. He advised that I check out r/jokes. Apparently they're the... read more

He found an amusing and witty retort, and was about to upvote, but alas he remembered. It was a riposte

But people starting to notice me when I learned how effective riposting was.

...but you guys have the best ripostes.

They’re always en garde.

Alas, I was in anguish when I lost, for my plans had been Foiled.

Riposte

After a good while in the class, these brothers were exceptional when it came to their offense. However, they noticed their instructor avoided all non-combative techniques.

One of the brothers, Phineas, decided he would confront the instructor on this issue. However, due to the previously men... read more

One of the spectators had spent her whole life devoting herself to the craft, and would have entered the tournament had she not retired a few years ago. The other, simply a fan who thinks swords are cool, having no real understanding of the sport. The fencer on the left side was playing very aggress... read more

A sub full of ripostes

The riposte, he called it.

Only to find that the relief instructor had been teaching his students nothing else but to parry and counter.

Apparently all the sub could do was riposte.

He kept shouting 'That's a riposte! That's a riposte!'