UPJOKE
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What’s the difference between Bill Cosby and a tiny fencing sword?

One is a little rapier

I thought I had a new joke about fencing

But it was a riposte

I’ve been bored recently so I have decided to take up fencing.

The neighbors said they will call the police unless I put it back.

My friend took me to a blindfolded fencing class, but I didn’t enjoy it.

I couldn’t see the point.

Olympic fencing is like r/Jokes

You can score big with a good riposte!

I told a fencing joke on Reddit once.

Turned out to be a riposte.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer and his laborer are out on the field doing some fencing.

The laborer says: "Uhm, farmer, it looks like rain."

Farmer: "I think you're right, go get my rubber boots for me!'

Laborer: "Do I have to?"

Farmer: "Listen, as you are more standing around than working, you have to."

The laborer goes to the farm house and enters the kitc...

Why are redditors so talented at fencing?

They have a lot practice with riposting.



I'll let myself out.

I was all set to be the world's greatest supervillain, but first I had to win a fencing duel.

Alas, I was in anguish when I lost, for my plans had been Foiled.

Why is r/Jokes like a fencing match?

... because you usually win with a riposte!


(This terrible pun is wholly original, so far as I know. Thus it will die in infamy without upvotes)

Why isn't /r/Fencing more popular?

Too many ripostes.

I thought I'd make a joke about fencing

but then I saw the rule about "no ripostes"

I just made up a really good fencing joke!

EDIT: Nevermind, apparently it's a riposte.

Why is /r/fencing the favorite sub for /r/jokes posters?

They highly encourage ripostes

An r/Jokes subscriber was fencing...

His opponent was confused because he was fully on the offensive and made not even one defensive move.

After the game, the opponent asked him about his unorthodox technique.

He replied, "Oh yeah, I only know how to riposte."

Why is reddit like fencing?

When it's not parrying, it's full of repostes

My fencing opponent stood shocked for a minute, then said to me "that was amazing, did you come up with that all by yourself?"

"No," I answered, "it was a riposte."

Barrier To Entry

The fencing community is having trouble with gatekeepers.

Reddit and Fencing have something in common

There's bound to be a riposte

Two young, slightly speech-impaired brothers decide to join a class that will teach them fencing.

After a good while in the class, these brothers were exceptional when it came to their offense. However, they noticed their instructor avoided all non-combative techniques.

One of the brothers, Phineas, decided he would confront the instructor on this issue. However, due to the previously men...

I hate fencing. Whenever I check Reddit after I parry...

It’s always a riposte.

Wanted to make a good fencing joke

But i’m sure it’ll end up being a riposte

Many years ago, there was a very lazy fencing duellist

In one of his most notable bouts, against the Marquis of Mod, his opponent noticed a very glaring pattern.

Upon exploiting this weakness and winning the duel, the Marquis approached the lazy duellist and questioned his methods-

"Why, may I ask, do you always seem to attack upon compl...

At a fencing tournament, two people are sitting and watching the fight take place.

One of the spectators had spent her whole life devoting herself to the craft, and would have entered the tournament had she not retired a few years ago. The other, simply a fan who thinks swords are cool, having no real understanding of the sport. The fencer on the left side was playing very aggress...

Why are fencing players so good at also being guards at museums?

They’re always en garde.

Reddit is just like fencing

Your response to anything original is either a block or a riposte.

I've seen a lot of great moves as a fencing teacher...

...but you guys have the best ripostes.

I wasn't doing very well at the r/jokes fencing academy.

But people starting to notice me when I learned how effective riposting was.

What's the difference between this sub and fencing?

In fencing people don't carry on and yell every time there's a riposte.

A redditor with an interest in fencing was on r/rareinsults

He found an amusing and witty retort, and was about to upvote, but alas he remembered. It was a riposte

What's the difference between fencing and reddit?

Fencing is full of ripostes, while reddit is full of reposts

I know nothing about the sport of fencing

But I attended a match with a friend who promised to explain everything.

The fencer took position, and one lunged at the other who batted the blade away.

The crowd went wild.

"That was a parry." My friend explained.

The fencer lunged again, the other deflected the blade...

what do you call a fencing tournament held on a nuclear submersible?

A sub full of ripostes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, legendary fencing master Maximilian Lee is looking for a new challenger

After decades dedicating himself to his art, he finds there is no one worthy of fighting anymore. He travels to the farest corners of the world looking to reinvigorate his love of the blade.

He travels to France and challenges their most skilled and famous fighter, but to his disappointment,...

I started taking fencing lessons...

The teacher started yelling fencing terms I didn't understand.

"Lunge!"

"Parry!"

"Reposte"

I stopped and said, "I can't do that, this is my first post in r/jokes and I don't wanna get flamed."

(Ain't much, but at least I tried)

I was having trouble with my fencing technique...

So I recently decided to take up fencing. I was talking to a friend about difficulties I was having with counterattacking my opponent. I'm fine with the parrying part, but it's what comes after the parry that I just can't seem to get right. He advised that I check out r/jokes. Apparently they're the...

Did you hear about the fencing teacher’s new, though unoriginal lesson?

The riposte, he called it.

Fencing

There was a famous fencer that could defeat every opponent he came across. No matter his opponent, he could always parry their blows and was always able to score a hit. Of course, each of his opponents would look greatly unnerved after every match, walking out in anger at their utter loss.

On...

A Fencing instructor came back to the academy after a well deserved holiday

Only to find that the relief instructor had been teaching his students nothing else but to parry and counter.

Apparently all the sub could do was riposte.

I learned a new move in fencing class today.

Riposte

I was going to post a joke about the Fencing Instructor's best move...

But it's probably a Riposte...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My fencing trophy

I recently placed 11th at a local fencing tournament. I got a participation award.
When I came home my wife asked me if I got a trophy
I said "Sword-of"

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