I know karate, kung fu, judo, juijitsu, taekwondo...

and a whole bunch of other words that describe skills I don't have.

Judo - it's the art of folding clothes perfectly...

...while the people are still in them.

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In two weeks I Masters Ninjitsu, Karate, Judo...

And two other Japanese words.

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A guy is minding his own business, drinking at the bar, when a random Asian guy runs in and kicks the living shit out of him.

He's laying on the floor bleeding, and he says, "What the hell, buddy?"

The Asian guy replies, "That was Judo, from Japan!"

A few days later, the guy is quietly drinking again, and another Asian guy runs in and also beats him senseless.

He's lying on the floor and he groans, "W...

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus and drove off along the route:

No problems for the first few stops.
A few people got on, a few got off and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on.

Six foot eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground.

He glared at the driver and said. "Big John...

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Due to intense training I've finally mastered Ninjitsu, Judo and...

Two other Japanese words.

I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu, judo, tae kwon do, jujit su...

and other 28 dangerous words.

I know Mexican judo

Judo know if I have a knife.
Judo know if I have a gun.

What's the difference between Kung-Fu and Judo?

One is the ancient art of self defense. The other is what you make bagels out of.

I'm well versed in Mexico's version of Judo.

Judo know if I got a knife...

Judo know if I got a gun...

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A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10 foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million do...

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[OC] I saw a Japanese martial artist, I've seen him on tv before so I excitedly waved at him. He was confused and said "I don't believe we've met"

I said "I recognize Judo".

Why is it so hard to fight corruption in Russia?

Because it knows judo.

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A very drunk patron at a bar is trying to impress everyone with his fighting ability.

"I am trained in every hand-to-hand combat there is," he says. To further prove his point, he walks up to Boudreaux, who happened to be in the bar, and whops him behind the neck! "Karate chop from China," he says.

Poor Boudreaux gets up off the floor and sits back in his seat, saying nothing....

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There was this little guy sitting in a bar

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."
The little guy thinks "GEEZ,"...

Yo mamma so dumb

She thinks judo is what you make bagels with

[Long]Two men sitting at a bar, one asks the other "Do you want to hear a blonde joke"?

The other guy says "Yeah sure, I could do with a laugh".

The first guy is just about to start when he is tapped on the shoulder, and turns round to see three bulked up blondes. The one who tapped him on the shoulder says to him :

"I am the worlds premier female bodybuilder, and a blond...

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4 nuns arrive at the gates of Heaven...

St. Peter is at the Pearly Gates and he says:

Peter - "Before any of you enter the Kingdom of Heaven, are there any sins you would like to confess to?"

The first nun steps up.

Nun 1 - "Yes. I have seen a man naked before."

Peter - " Did you enjoy it?" ...

After a really good party

After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, You wanna hear a blonde joke?
The person replies, I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, w...

What do challah and martial arts have in common?

Judo

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