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Archery Jokes

My partner asked how I got invited to the Archery Champions Ball.

I told her I had to pull a few strings.

Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?

Because it didn't habanero.

I’m quite bad at archery

But I aim to improve

Archery

When asked what they are aiming for,

A newbie will say precision,

A pro will say grouping,

And dads will say "the target."

Members of the archery club sometime meet at the cheese shop.

Just to shoot the Bries

My friend asked me if I had ever tried blindfolded archery, I replied I hadn’t

He said it’s great ! You don’t know what you are missing !

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3 guys went for an archery competition...

The first guy shoots an arrow into the sky and out of nowhere, a hawk swoops in and catches that arrow and plants it on the bulls eye. "Who are you?" asked the judge. "I am Hawkeye.", the first guy replied smugly. The second guy shoots 2 arrows up into the sky and miraculously, 2 pigeons fly by, c...

Ever tried blindfolded archery?

You don't know what you're missing

How do you improve your archery?

With better arrow dynamics.

An Archery joke

When I was a security guard I had to make sure people didn't dig in the trash cans. You know, to keep them from falling in or getting their hands stuck in the lid. Well one day this old gentleman was looking through a can, where he had his arm in the trash can all the
way to the shoulder.
...

A man who worked two jobs, archery manufacturing and mailman, was well known for his prowess in bed.

He could make them quiver when he delivered.

I'm going to combine my love for political activism with my love of archery

so that I can stick it to the man from a distance

A fool wearing an eye patch enters an archery contest

The contestants are told to hit the target in the distance. The guy wearing the eye patch picks up his bow, pulls back an arrow, and releases it. The arrow completely misses the target, goes in a totally different direction, and buries itself in the hat of one of the judges. The judge jumps up, shoc...

Why doesn’t the philosopher like to do archery?

Because he Kant hit the Marx.

To the people making fun of archery...

...you cant try it until you nock it.

Archery Practice

Dave and Mr Shambles were out on a weekend for a good session of archery. Mr Shambles had just been promoted over Dave and thought he'd make it up to him.

The course consisted of three targets, which got further and further from the shooter as you went up the course.

Now Mr Shambles w...

Did you hear about the time Orion lost an archery match?

He was given a constellation prize.

A duke was hunting in the forest

A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants; he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.

"Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I must find him!"

After continuing through the forest fo...

Coach always used to say "Aim for the skies, boy".

He doesn't say that anymore after I blinded myself at archery practice.

A man walked into an archery range

He noticed a guy standing alone at the end of the row. This person would draw an arrow from his quiver, stab it into his leg, then ready and loose at the target.

Confused as hell, he asked, "Why are you jabbing yourself in the leg with your arrows before you use them?!"

The man smiled...

I recently took up blindfolded archery

I'm liking it a lot. If you haven't tried, give it a go.

You don't know what you're missing.

What did Orion receive after losing an archery competition?

A constellation prize.

Three men line up to show off their skills at archery

They are to shoot off the apple off of a young boy's head. The first one draws his arrow back, shoots, hits the apple clean off of the boy's head, and says, "I am Robin Hood!". The second one draws his arrow back, shoots, hits the apple of the boy's head, and says, "I am William Tell!". The third on...

My dad was showing me how to use a bow

He took me to the edge of our rather large property,

He shot one tree, then another, then another, with very impressive aim.

"Alright son, you're up!"

I aimed at a tree that hadn't been shot yet

"No son! Not that one!"

"Why not?"

"Because that's not archery...

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When I was 10

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumb...

Best YO MAMA JOKE ACCORDING TO ME

yo mama is so stupid that she went for an archery contest and aimed for the ground and missed

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There was once a couple who were very, very dumb.

They used to listen to everything said to them without thinking any deeper.

After about a year after their marriage, a beautiful baby boy was born to them. They decided to baptize him and name him according to a very popular astrologer's idea. So they took him to the astrologer's sanctum
<...

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I’ve been thinking about opening an archery center somewhere in Mexico...

I figured I’d call it ‘Elbow’



...please pray for my girlfriend. My brain comes up with this shit all the time and normally she is my audience. I figured I’d try re-routing things here to save her sanity.

John was attending his buddy’s wedding and everything was normal…

The ceremony was at a beautiful church in the countryside, the officiant gave an insightful speech on the meaning of marriage, and the bride and groom were beaming throughout the whole thing. John couldn’t have been happier for his friend.

After exchanging vows, the bride and groom announced ...

Little known fact about William Tell

We all know William Tell for his archery skills, but did you know he was also an avid bowler? His whole family bowled actually, and there was even a league in his area. At the time Joining a team was a difficult , daunting task, but by some fortune he and several relatives made the same team. Unfort...

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Guns – Good Question, Better Answer!

For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an Australian General.
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.
Regardless of how you feel about gun laws, you have to love this!
Thi...

Lord of the Bow

So I was telling my friend about my prowess with a bow and arrow yesterday. I said "my best round ever didn't start so well, I only scored 1 point with each of my first two arrows. Got better after that, scored 2 with the next, then 3, then 5. On my 12th and final arrow I managed to score 144."
<...

Youth Slang

Kids are always coming up with the strangest slang. Remember "on fleek" or when "dank" stopped meaning dingy?

I was working as a counselor at a summer camp one year. The kids came up with a new one and proceeded to absolutely run it into the ground. One day in the cafeteria, one of the ner...

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Aakashvaani

Pandavas and Kauravas learnt the art of warfare from their teacher Dronacharya.

One fine day, Dronacharya was teaching Arjuna (3rd oldest among Pandavas) the art of Archery.


He said in a heavy voice, "Arjuna, there's a parrot. You need to concentrate and hit his right eye."
...

[Long] The Mysterious camp

There was a camp that was really mysterious. It was built on an Indian burial ground by a lake where a bunch of teens had drowned across from an abandoned insane asylum. Strange sounds could be heard at night, and campers would constantly go missing. Years later, after seeing strange flashes of ligh...

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