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Paralympic Jokes

Why isn't there golf in the Paralympics?

Because it would be really awkward asking what their handicap was.

What's better than a Gold medal at the Paralympics

Two legs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can’t stand the paralympics.

Neither can the participants.

What does "paralympics" stands for?

It doesn't.

Wheelchair athletes have just been banned from the Paralympics

They tested positive for WD40

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't know what's involved in the training for the Paralympics

But it looks fucking dangerous

A basketball champion in Paralympic walks into a bar

Wait a minute...

I heard paralympic basketball players are very selfish, they never pass

All they do is dribble.

Did you know the entry fee for the Paralympics is really high?

I hear it costs an arm and a leg.

Three disabled stranded men

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, bu...

There’s so much debate about whether to allow Russian athletes to compete internationally

Whatever else happens I hope they let Russians compete in the Paralympics. With the way the war’s going they’ll have a heck of a team

On the upside, Oscar Pistorus has had his paralympic classification promoted...

...he's gone from T43 (double below knee amputee) all the way up to T800 (The Terminator).

No one is sure how much it cost Coke to sponsor the Paralympics,

but it undoubtedly cost an arm and a leg.

What's the difference between the Olympic long distance race and the Paralympic long distance race?

A lap

I just read on the news that 10 Paralympics athletes have failed a drugs test

They all tested positive for WD40

There's a doping scandal at the Rio de Janeiro Paralympics involving the Russians.

I'm going to miss the Apollo app, it made Reddit worthwhile.

A great slogan for WW3

Make Paralympic Great Again!

A team of Russian atheletes did not do well at the Olympic Games.

A team of Russian atheletes did not do well at the Olympic Games. Putin summoned the team together with their head coach and his chief of KGB Nikolai to his office.

"You did not do a good job", - said Putin, - "But let us focus on the future. You will do much better in the next competition....

A limbless man takes up swimming

A man with no arms or legs decided to take up swimming in an attempt to make the Paralympics. He was called Bob

I heard on the TV, "no arms race between Russia and the United States"

I thought to myself, "I didn't even know the Paralympics were on"

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