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Vito Jokes

Danny DeVito was behind bars, allegedly for financial crimes against his wife...

During his stint in lockdown, he earned the nickname, "Powerhouse."

His new cellmate, seeing how short and squat and old he was, asked him, "Man, how did you ever get the name 'powerhouse?'"

"It's short for 'the powerhouse of the cell block." But his cellmate still looked perplexed, so...

What did Vito Corleone's brother Frank say when rival fishermen sabotaged his gear?

"Look how they massacred my buoy!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Frank invites Tony and Vito to a party (nsfw-ish)

Frank, Tony, and Vito are 3 friends from Brooklyn. One week Frank is having a party at his house and invites Tony and Vito. It's a theme party; "dress as your favorite mood"

The day of the party comes and Frank answers a knock on the door. Standing there ass-naked are Tony and Vito, except th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: *moans wrong name during sex*

Girlfriend: who the fuck is Danny DeVito?

I told this girl that people often tell me I could be Arnold Schwarzenegger's twin.

"I don't think so," she laughed, "You're fat, bald, don't work out, and are much too short!"

"I know.... Danny DeVito."

I was once told I looked like an actor enough to be his stunt double.

The actor was Danny DeVito.

Don and his son

Big time gangster Don Vito Corleone picked up his son Santino after his annual exams. 'How was it?' he asked.

'They questioned me for three hours, papa. But I told them nothing.'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three gangsters in a fancy restaurant...

Three gangsters, Vito, Carlo, and Nick are sitting around a table in a fancy restaurant. They’ve just finished their meal and have ordered some brandy. While they’re waiting for the brandy Vito pulls out a cigar and a $50 bill. He sticks of the bill into the flame of the candle in the centre of the ...

Arnold Schwarzenegger woke up this morning with a sore head and a bad back...

... he put on his dressing gown and slippers, opened the door to his en suite shower and let out a sigh.

“Why is my shoauwer still broken?” He exclaimed. “The plumber was supposed to hef come last week.”

He made his way to the kitchen to fix himself some food. Opening the fridge, a put...

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