How does Darth Vader eat with a mask on?

He force feeds himself.

Everyone knows about Darth Vader, but very few people talk about his wife.

Ella wasn’t great at conquering planets but she did make it easier to navigate the Death Star.

If Darth Vader was frozen in Carbonite

He would be Mannaquin Skywalker

Why is Darth Vader such a spoilsport at Christmas?

Because he feels everyone's presents.

How does Darth Vader greet visitors to Disneyland?

Welcome to the Park side.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was Darth Vader arrested for sexual assault?

He kept forcing himself on people.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was going to get him for Father’s Day?

He sensed his presents

How much does Darth Vader hate sand?

A tauntaun.

What did Vader's dog say to Luke's dog

Join the bark side

If Darth Vader lived in America, where would he live?

The Empire State Building

What happens when Darth Vader sneezes?

George Lucas yells "Cut!"

Darth Vader always knew what Luke and Leia got him for Christmas, stating:

“I’ve felt your presents”

What did Darth Vader say when he went to a vegetarian restaurant?

"I find your lack of steak disturbing."

What did Darth Vader say under the tree?

Luke... I feel your presents...

My sister just told this to me, and I genuinely laughed at it so I thought it belonged here!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Darth Vader takes a trip to the clinic after having unprotected sex. What did his test results come back positive for?

Sithilis

What did Darth Vader say when the record store employee told him they were out of George Michael albums?

I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing.

Why is he called Lord Vader?

Because when they called him Master Vader the stormtroopers giggled.

Why does Darth Vader's breathing sound so angry?

He is just venting...

Say what you will about Darth Vader

But his sister Ella really takes things to another level.

What’s Darth Vader favourite measurement system?

The Imperial System

Do you know why they called him Lord Vader?

Because calling him Master Vader never would have worked.

When James Earl Jones auditioned for Darth Vader, George Lucas told him he had to have a Mid-Atlantic accent.

So, he went and bought a scuba air tank, and the rest is history.

Where does Darth Vader buy his clothes?

At the Death Store

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Darth Vader walks into his local record shop and asks for a copy of George Michael's debut solo album

The guy behind the counter says "I'm sorry, it's out of stock."

Darth Vader shakes his head and says "I find your lack of Faith disturbing..."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Darth Vader: *heavy breathing*

**Admiral Motti:** oh great, he's jerking off using the force again.

Why did Darth Vader cross the road?

To feel the power of the dark side

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Darth Vader prefer coarse-grain pepper?

He hates it when it's high ground.

Darth Vader built an entire Galactic Empire...

Wearing protective gear in sanitary environment.

But it was all destroyed by a whiny brat without a mask who refused to stay home with his aunt and uncle.

Why was Darth Vader referred to as Lord Vader?

Because calling him Master Vader made all the Stormtroopers giggle.

Trump is Darth Vader's cousin!

Tax E. Vader.

I met Darth Vader’s wife at the mall yesterday.

Nice gal, her names’s Ella.

What is Darth Vader’s least favourite supervillain?

Sandman.

Why did Darth Vader kill the craftsmen for not using varnish to finish his wood death star project?

Because his lacquer faith was disturbing.

Why do they call him Lord Vader?

Because no one could keep a straight face calling him Master Vader.

What's Darth Vader's favorite dessert?

Only one cannoli

Did you hear Darth Vader had a second daughter named Elly?

Elly Vader

What did Darth Vader say when he sensed Luke for the first time?

"I have a dad feeling about this."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is Darth Vader so famous?

He was the first black man to admit he is the father.

If Darth Vader said "Nothing's gonna stop us now" instead of "There will be no one to stop us this time..."

Would that make him Mannequin Skywalker?

1 My kid’s made up Star Wars joke: What does Darth Vader exhale?

Carbon Darkside

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you know that Darth Vader isn't a black man underneath the mask?

He claims to be your father.

Do you know why Darth Vader really betrayed the emperor?

His hatred became more palpable

Darth Vader has a twin brother who’s a tory..

He’s called TAX EVADER

Darth Vader asked the Emperor how many pizzas he should get...

Palpatine: order 66...

What’s Darth Vader’s stage name when he plays his electric piano?

The synth lord

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What instrument does Darth Vader play?

The rebel bass.

Why doesn't Darth Vader like to eat Ewoks?

He thinks they're a little Chewie.

My friends 10 yo daughter made this up while in the elevator today: "Did you know Darth Vader has another daughter?"

Mom: "No, who?"
Daughter: "Ella, Ella Vader."

What first tipped Darth Vader off about the Millennium Falcon?

He found their lack of freight disturbing

^^May ^^the ^^Fourth ^^be ^^with ^^you!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bill knows everyone

I met a man the other day named Bill the other day, and after introductions, he said, "I am glad to finally meet you. Now I officially know everybody on the planet."

"What?" I asked, "There is no way you can possibly know everyone on the Earth."

"It's true," he said, "You are the last...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why Darth Vader?

Since I was little people asked why did I want to be Darth Vader. Easy, I wanna be a villain so I can saunter everywhere. Luke is always sprinting somewhere, always running, always sweaty and on the move. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Fuck no, and I ain’t about to either.

What did Darth Vader say when he saw his old droid choosing Luke over him?

"E tu, D2?"

What do you call a sick Darth Vader?

Barf Vader

-Courtesy of my 6 year old nephew.

Retailers have pulled all the Darth Vader toys from their shelves...

Apparently they are a choking hazard.

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are engaged in a light saber battle...

...when suddenly Darth grabs Luke by the tunic and pulls him close. "Luke, I know what you are getting for Christmas", he says to the young Jedi.

"How? How could you possibly know what I am getting for Christmas?" Luke says skeptically.

Vader replies: "Because, I felt your presents."

What's Darth Vader's least favorite temperature?

Luke warm.

^^im ^^sorry

Darth Vader could never find love....

He was looking in Alderaan places.

What is Darth Vader's favorite snack?

(Breathe heavy for effect)

"Coooo-Keees"

What’s Darth Vader’s favorite dessert?

*coooooo*

*kieeeee*

What's the difference between Darth Vader and Tom Brady?

Darth Vader probably gets high fived

I heard Darth Vader's suit was really expensive.

It must have cost him an arm and a leg.

How does Darth Vader take his coffee?

You would think black right? But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic?

...because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.

What did Vader say after he kills the Emperor?

Why so... Sidious

I'm getting my Darth Vader shaped mole checked out.

I'm concerned because it's on the dark side.

Where does Darth Vader go shopping?

At the Darth Mall.

What did Darth Vader do when his iTunes stopped responding?

He force quit.

So Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are locked in their final showdown...

...light sabers are flashing, the balance is delicate, but suddenly Luke knocks Darth's weapon away. As it's skidding out of reach, Luke moves in for the final blow. Quickly, Darth holds up a hand and says "Luke, wait! I need to tell you something". Luke, sensing a trap, asks why he should do such a...

How do we know that Darth Vader is American?

Because he marches to the Imperial March and not the Metric March

Someone snuck aboard the Death Star and stabbed Darth Vader with a lightsaber.

It was a space in Vader.

What would you get if Harry Potter tried to kill Darth Vader?

*A Vader Cadaver*

When the Empire Strikes Back was being filmed, they considered getting rid of James Earl Jones and bringing in Hulk Hogan instead to be Darth Vader.

But they quickly decided not to when they realized the line "No Luke, I am your father, brother!" Was way too confusing.

What did Darth Vader tell Luke?

Luke, I am your [Unlock Content for 20000 Credits].

An interesting fact about Darth Vader

He's got a good poker face

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