UPJOKE
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As an unmarried man, my aunts used to ask me "and, are you the next one?" at every wedding...

...that quickly stopped when I started to ask them the same question at funerals

Captain

A U.S. Navy cruiser pulled into port in Mississippi for a week's liberty.The first evening, the Captain was more than a little surprised to receive the following letter from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner: “Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's coming of age party. I would li...

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A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.

The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner:

"Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uni...

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Buzz Buzz

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you doing?' The daughter replied: 'Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this t...

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A nun...

A nun gets into a cab in New York. She demurely says in a small, high voice,”Could you please take me to Times Square?”

In a thick Brooklyn accent the cab driver initiates conversation,”Hey, sista, that’s kinda a long drive. You mind if we, like, chat?”

The nun says,”Why no, my son, wh...

An unmarried couple start a jazz band. What would they call it?

Premarital sax

[ translated] A traveller got lost and it became night fall. So he knocked at the first house he could find.

"Shall i stay here for a night ?" He asks.

Man of the house " no no no, we have a young unmarried woman at home. We can't allow strangers or her honor might be questioned "

This happened in the next 2 houses.

Then he knocks another house and asks upfront " Do you have an unmarr...

A joke I made up

There once lived an unmarried, flamboyant, lustful king who chased women and slept with everyone in his court. The day came for him to be married, and he went to see a local lord who was rumored to have two beautiful daughters. The king went to  meet the lord and his two beautiful daughters. After l...

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Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could talk to her after class

Johnny:" Miss I believe im too smart for my age I want to move on directly to high-school, I'm bored in here."
Hearing that, teacher can't believe his audacity, but nevertheless aranges with the principal an exam in his office for the boy.
The principal is astounded to find that Johnny had an...

MY friend wanted to be buried with all of his cash.

A millionaire friend of mine found out that he had cancer. Being unmarried and with no children, he wanted to make sure none of his extended family got any of his money so we came up with a plan.

He would leave all of his money to me with the express instructions that I was to bury him with ...

A Nun has to take a cab

She gets into the cab and gives the driver the address she needs to go to.

About half way through the drive the cabbie looks at the Nun through the rearview mirror and says, “You know, I’ve always wanted to kiss a Nun.”

The Nun looks thoughtful for a moment before responding, “Are you...

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The Black Bra (as told by a woman)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed ...

Random acts of nature

An international aid worker was volunteering at a small remote village in Africa. He was the only outsider the villagers have ever seen. But after awhile, they welcomed him into their homes.

The village chief had a beautiful daughter that had caught the eye of this worker. Everyday she would...

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