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Divorcee Jokes

This terminally Ill divorcee goes to the doctor …

What should I do she asks to perhaps extend my life a bit?

He says marry an insurance agent…

She says will it help me live longer?

It will feel longer … replies the doc

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a prostitute and a divorcee?

The prostitute is up-front about her pricing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Divorcee

Heard this from a friend a couple years back...

A man named Ted has recently been divorced. It was ugly; his wife got the dog, the nice house in the suburbs and the car, and Ted is forced to stay in a shitty motel in an even shittier part of town. Depressed and with nothing left to lose, Ted...

Hey, is the cult still going to sacrifice a divorcee to the volcano?

No, they'll give it a miss.

Did you know they make a divorcee Barbie now?

She comes with all of Ken's stuff.

Whats the favorite fruit of divorcees?

Cant-elope

The class of 1950 gets together for their class reunion. Not many people are left, but two of the 10 people to attend were Harry, an 88 year old widower, and Esther, an 87 year old divorcee.

Over the course of the evening, they had a great time chatting about old times and their families. They each felt a real connection and by the time the night was out, Harry had proposed and Esther has happily accepted.

The next morning, Harry woke up and was frustrated to realize that he cou...

Not what he was expecting....

A hot divorcee moved in next door to an elderly man who has been lonely for most of his life. A couple of weeks later, she stops at his house for a moment. "I'm ready", she says to him, and his package starts to rise-----he can't help himself! "I wanna blow off some steam, get drunk, and get laid! C...

Saw a joke about an elderly couple who were getting a divorce, reminded me of this old gem.

The elder couple are in divorce court. Everything is basically going as per usual except both of the soon to be divorcees are well into their nineties. After seeing all the paperwork, the judge ask, "Now folks, help me understand this. You've been married for over 70 years! Why are you getting a div...

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