Marrying Jokes

But I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.

A newspaper asked if she wouldn't mind talking about her first 3 husbands and what they did for a living.

She smiled and said, "My first husband was a banker, then I married a circus ringmaster, next was a preacher and now in my 80's, a funeral director."

When asked why the... read more

Then, I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were huge on her and she said that she couldn’t wear them because they were too large. I said to her, 'Of course they are too big for you, I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' ...Ever since that day, son... read more

Three friends married women from different parts of the world.

The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second ... read more

The problem is, after a few years, the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.

Hers is in February and mine in July

I like to remind her that most lottery winners blow their winnings.

First; a tractor.


Next; fertilizer.