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I want to try translating an Iraqi joke to English and see if it works. A man is sitting in a cafe...

A man is sitting in a cafe when suddenly someone he knows comes running to him in panic shouting "Quick, your wife is cheating on you with your best friend in the forest". The man runs out of the cafe angry and furious to see for himself and returns after a short while and sits back down on his chai...

I need help translating my 11 month old's joke

"Dya nag nag da Mya gad... UH OH!" Followed by enormous laughter. Thanks for any help

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So i saw some people translating jokes so here is a Turkish one. One day a Japanese man walks into a bar in Turkey...

One day a Japanese man walks into a bar in Turkey and challenges everyone in the bar for a fight.

\-Are there anyone who believes he can defeat me ?

Temel gets up and walks to the door saying:

\-I can do it. Let's see what you are made of.

A few minutes later Temel walks ...

Since people are translating their native jokes, I hope no one has posted this yet

There were 3 boys who were being chased by the police. John the wise, Peter the smart, and Jose the dumb.


As the police were gaining on them, they each decided to hide in a box in an alley way.

The policeman ran up to John's Box and kicked it.

Thinking quickly, John said...

Tried translating a joke from Latvian.

John, a rural farmer, decided to visit the zoo in the capital with his family. He has a lot of fun, and comes back ecstatic. His neighbor
Tolya asks him what he saw there.

"Well, I saw a giraffe."

"What's a giraffe?"

"Well, you know horses?"

"Yeah."

"It's like ...

Translating a Bulgarian joke

Vegans have been screwing us over from the very beginning. If Eve had eaten the snake and not the fruit we wouldn't be in this mess.

Translating an old joke

A butcher is serving his customers as usual when a stray dog comes in and starts barking.

The butcher is about to shoo him away when one customer says, "give him few lamb chops". The butcher agrees and puts some in front of the dog.

The dog eats everything in front of him but is still ...

A man and a leprechaun

Disclaimer: This is a Russian joke which I am translating after a few too many glasses of wine.

A man walks into a washroom. Lo and behold, he sees a leprechaun doing his business.
The guy is elated, he grabs the leprechaun  and exclaims "Aha! I got you! Now you have to grant me a wish". ...

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I want to try translating a Polish joke and see if it works. A few friends are drinking vodka in the kitchen...

And there are disgusting flies all over the room. They can hardly sip their drinks without these wretched flies getting in their cups, or worse, their mouths.

One man tells his friends he has an idea to get the flies to stop bothering them, but they need to avert their eyes.

A few minu...

Thought I’d try translating a joke. Two foreigners are sailing to America for work.

Upon getting off the boat at the dock, one notices a hotdog stand. Sure, it sounds weird to them but they decide to try it.

As one unwraps the foil, he blushes and asks, “Which part of the dog did you get?”

I want to try translating a Finnish joke to English and see if it works.

What is the animal that steals license plates?
- A turtle.

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I see there's a popular trend of translating foreign jokes in the sub, so here's a one from Hebrew.

What do you call 10 Moroccan Jews on a roof top?

An alarm system.

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Seeing everyone translating jokes from their mother tongues I want to try my hand at it

From Russian:

Drill sergeants office, another sergeant rushes in:

- Hey Johnson, all your squad is in the barracks fucking bench!

Sergeant jumps up, picks up his hat and storms into barracks. On the way he thinks to himself: "These damn recruits, can't last a week without a woma...

Looks like translating jokes is cool now

Bobby is sitting in his living room in his underwear, and wearing a blazer, when his wife comes in.

 
 

"Bobby why the hell are you wearing a blazer?"

"Well, maybe we'll have guests..."

"Then why don't you have any pants on?"

"Well, maybe we wo...

Tried my best translating this fom Portuguese

A man and his wife decide that they would go on holiday to the same place where they had they're honeymoon 20 years ago. The wife couldn't make it because she had a problem in her job, so the husband catched the plane and his wife would come in the next day. When he arrives at the hotel he emails hi...

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I tried translating a Norwegian joke I heard from my uncle

Two northeners , Martinus and Bjørnar are camping together in the winter... They spend a lot of time together and then they go to bed in their sleeping bags..

They lie there for a while before Martinus says to Bjørnar: "Are you jerking off?" Bjørnar replies: "No I am not"

He says again...

I am translating this joke from Somali. If I does good I might do some more

A kid had a sister five years older than him, and they used to eat from the same bowl.
The girl used to eat way more than him and the kid would always be hungry

One day when the father was coming from work he sow that the girl would take five hand fulls while the kid is trying to chew t...

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A woman decides to kill her self

She has had enough. Everyone is seeing her as a object and wants to have sex with her. So she jumps out of the 5th floor.

A man in the 4th floor sees her falling and catches her.

"What do you think you're doing?", he says, "Life is good. We can go to cinema. We can have some Ice Cream...

A long time ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.

It feels like ancient history.

I'd like to thank my boyfriend for translating "mucho" for me

It means a lot

The trouble with translating jokes is...

Many jokes rely on clever wordplay, which can get lost in translation!


(What? That always gets a laugh when I tell it in Basque.)

Farmer ike and his churl chester are working the fields

Farmer ike and his churl chester are working the fields when it starts raining. the farmer sais: chester, go to the house and fetch me my wellys, for its starting to rain!

chester heads to the house, and when he enters through the kittchen he sees the farmers wife and daughter perpearing the ...

A Czech joke translation

Since we're all translating jokes, this is one I heard when I lived in Prague. FYI, it was a big hit when I told it in Sweden using Norway as the other country.

So an incredibly nefarious criminal escapes from prison in the Czech Republic. Rumor is he went across the border to Slovakia. So th...

Translating the German joke Germans only tell Germans.

I don't like to talk about the Holocaust either. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.

He got drunk and fell off the guard tower.

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