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Translates Jokes

A Dutch joke about the Brits and their love for queues, don’t know if it translates well

A Brit walks down the street and sees two queues. He gets behind one of them, and asks the woman in front of him:

“What is this queue for?”

“Just for fun” says the women.

“But what if I don’t want to stand in the queue?” The Brit asks.

To which the woman replies “that’s w...

a joke thats originally in arabic, but I think translates well.

3 men are smoking weed when the cops show up. Panicked, one hides undrneath a car, the other climbs up a telephone pole, and the last hides under a donkey.

The cops find the first guy and ask him if he was smoking weed, and he replies "im just a mechanic, and havent smoked a day in my life" s...

My dad told me this joke in Serbian years ago. Hope it translates well.

A man is terminally ill and has 3 months left to live. Seeing as he was a holy man for all his life, God gave him a visit and granted him 3 wishes. The man ponders for a few minutes then asks for his first wish.

“God, I’d love to have a nice steak dinner and some brandy to wash it down with.”...

I want to see if this Irish joke translates

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

Joke from my country, hope it translates well

A man walks into the doctors office, and he sees the doctor smoking his lungs off, the whole room is smokey.
The doctor asks him how he feels, and the man says:"Doctor, my lungs are hurting. Can you help?"
The doctor says:"Well, do you smoke?"
The man says yes, and the doctor continues:"We...

I want to know if this Spanish joke translates at all

What’s the similarity between a boat, a firefighter and a family?

The boat and the firefighter have hard outer coverings (cascos).

*and the family?*

They’re good, thanks for asking!




(Original Spanish)
¿Que se parece entre un bombero, un barco y una famili...

Ok, time to see if a Scottish joke translates...

Two cows are standing in a field, which one is going on holiday?


The one with the wee calf.

I have a joke and I don't know if it translates well in all cultures, so let me break it down into bits.

01100001 00100000 01101010 01101111 01101011 01100101

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is a Russian joke; I don't think it translates well into English.

A man takes his dog to the dog park.

He finds a stick and throws it, saying, "Go fetch!"

The dog runs after it, and brings it back.

The man throws it again, says "Go fetch!"

The dog runs after it, and brings it back.

The main throws it again, says "Go fetch!"
<...

I want to see if this joke translates from English

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Orange.

Orange who?...

A joke my grandfather told me, translated from German, I hope it still translates well.

Knock knock.

Enter.

In French we don't say 'ninety nine'...

..instead we say 'quatre-vingt dix neuf' which translates as 'we don't have a functional numerical system'

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?...

Their knees.

(Not sure if this one translates well to english)

Ancient Greek name translation

I have been doing some research into the meaning of my name.

I was delighted to find that in Ancient Greek my second name translates to ‘Attractive to women’.

Unfortunately my first name translates to ‘Not very’.

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?...

Their knees.

(Not sure if this one translates well to english)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Read the punchline out loud. I first heard this in high school, not sure how well it translates to print.

Poor Tom.

When he was seven, he lost his left eye in a tragic accident. Being from a poor family, the only replacement they could afford was a wooden eye.

When he was seventeen, three weeks before the prom, he was still dateless. He decided to work up the courage to ask someone, but ...

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