Train Set Jokes - 24 Hilarious Train Set Jokes

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Little Johnny is playing with his electric train set in the living room…

…and his mom is in the kitchen when she hears him say, “The train has arrived at the station. All you mother-fuckers getting off, get off and all you mother-fuckers getting on, get on.”

She immediately scolds him for the language and puts him in time-out for 30 minutes. He comes back afterwar...

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Why are boobs like a train set?

They're meant for children, but Dads love playing with them too!

I was so embarrassed that my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set that I threw the bedsheet over it.

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

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Little Johnnie is in the living room playing with his train set…

when his mom overheard him in the kitchen yelling “alright you sonsabitches! Everyone headed westbound to Memphis, get your asses to platform number 9! And for all you motherfuckers going eastbound to Raleigh, head your big asses to platform number 10!”

Mom comes in fuming…

“JOHNNIE!! ...

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A woman listen’s in on her 4 year old playing with his train set

“All those getting off, go on fuck off, and all those gettin on fucking hurry up”

The woman smacks his bum and sends him upstairs till he’s learned his lesson.

2 hours later the boy comes back down, says sorry to his mum and carries on playing, Mum listens in:

”all those depart...

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The Train Set

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying........''All of you bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you bastards who ar...

The thought of one of my friends catching me playing with my train set is so embarrassing.

So I covered the set up with bedsheets. Nobody will find out now, my tracks are covered

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What do train sets and breasts have in common?

They're intended for children, but it's usually the adults who end up playing with them

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Little Johnny And His Train Set

Little Johnny was playing with his train set on the living room floor. "ALL ABOARD Dumbshits!" he shouted. "Get your asses on the train, sit the f*** down, and keep your GD hands to your self you groping perverts!"

"JOHNNY!" exclaimed his mother. "We DO NOT talk like that in the house, or...

I just bought the most up to date train set there is

It even comes with a replacement bus service

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Johnny got a train set for christmas

Johnny got a train set for Christmas, his mom was in the kitchen and his dad was at work as Johnny played with his trains. He makes the train go around and around the track and stops at the train station and says

"All the assholes that want to get on, get on. All the assholes that want to ge...

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Johnny is playing with his train set...

while his mother is in the kitchen washing dishes. Suddenly she hears him saying to the imaginary passengers " if any of you fuckers want to eat, the fucking dining car is open".

Shocked, she runs at him and tells him he had better watch his mouth or she'll wash it out with soap.

...

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Little Jimmy is playing with his train set

While his mother is washing the dishes. She is enjoying listening to him playing so pauses to hear him better. "chuga chuga, chuga chuga, choo choo! We are now at the station, anyone that wants to get on the fucking train, get on the fucking train, anyone that wants to get off the fucking train get ...

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Johnny was playing with his train set while mother was in the kitchen doing dishes...

Chigga chigga chigga chigga hoot hoot. "The train has reached the station, all you mother fuckers getting on, get on and all you bastards getting off, get off.

Johnnys mom rushes out and yells at Johnny for his bad language and gives him a 5 min timeout.

6 minutes later she hears ...

A boy was playing with his train set...

... and he says "alright all you f*ckers that are on get off and all you f*ckers that want to get on get on" At that his mom comes in and tells him that he has to sit in his room for an hour until he can play nice.
So he sits in his room for an hour and then goes out to his train set again. This...

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All You Nice People Can Board the Train

This is the first "grown up joke" I remember an adult telling me as a kid:

A little boy was playing with his toy train on the floor. He pulled the train around the track and stopped at the little station.

"Coo Choo! All you bastards who want off the train, get off the train. All...

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Christmas joke

Little Tommy’s mother takes him to go see Santa at Christmas time. Santa asks Tommy, “What would you like for Christmas?”.

Tommy looks Santa in the eye and says, “Listen, I’ve been a good boy all year. All I want is a train set. Nothing more, nothing less, just a train set!”. Santa looks ove...

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Train Delay

Little Johnny's mom was cooking dinner one evening and from the kitchen, she hears Little Johnny playing with his train set and smiles. Suddenly, she hears, "All you mother fuckers getting on, get on. All you mother fuckers getting off, get off."

She storms into the living room and says, "Joh...

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Pathology professor told this joke after class today. A little long but soooo worth it.

There once was five year old boy who enjoyed playing with his train set. One afternoon, his mother happened to be standing by the door listening to the boy play. She was shocked when she heard him saying,

"All right, all of you son of a bitches who want to get on the train, get on train. And ...

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Little Johnny

Johnny's mom is in the kitchen and she decides to check on her son who is playing in the living room.

Little Johnny is playing with his train set, he pulls the train into the station and says, "Whoever needs to get the hell off the train, and who ever needs to come on the train get the hell o...

Christmas Joke

While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. “If you get your train,” I told him, “your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?”

The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, “What else would you like Santa to br...

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New Trainset

Johnny loved his new train set. His mother could leave him for hours at a time while she did things around the house without him to bother her.

One day, while she was cooking dinner, she over heard Johnny. Everytime the train would pass the station, she would hear him say "All those that want...

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My favourite little Johnny joke. NSFW

Little Johnny was playing with his new train set when mum over hears him say "all you bastards getting off, fuck off, all you bastards getting on hurry the fuck up"

She comes running from the kitchen and is aghast at the language. She tells him that the f-word and the b-word are not appropria...

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Xmas morning finally came, and little timmy was so excited...

... We he opened his present and found the train set he had wanted. After the gifts were finished, he set it up while his mother went to cook dinner.

From the kitchen she hears him start up the train, then all of a sudden it comes to a stop, she hear her son say "alright, all you bitches and ...

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